'Instead of proving my love, I proved something else... I was done': 28-year-old woman guilt-tripped over a promotion and then asked to move in with her boyfriend to ‘prove her love,' she breaks up with him instead

Distance provides clarity in a relationship, Even still, sometimes, our fellow females get caught up in their boyfriends so much, that they can't see or think clearly. Luckily for the level-headed career-woman in this next story, she saw through all of the smoke and mirror control attempts from her significant other and made a call that would forever don clarity. 

After getting a job promotion, she was ecstatic and ready to share the good news with her boyfriend. Although he'd shown some minor signs of his neediness in the past, his reaction to her career move was disappointing and ultimately the final straw in their relationship. 

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer Jesse Kessenheimer
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  • You'd think that the love of your life would be happy for you to get a win in the office. Except when this boyfriend instead showed his contempt for his woman's job, she started to think twice about their entire arrangement. The wedge between them grew wider and wider, and while she was busy thinking about what she'd do with her new salary, her work car, and her new leadership role at her job, he was desperately concocting a plan to tie her down. Keep scrolling for the entire story of female liberation that can inspire all of us to put ourselves first in the relationship. 

  • "If you really love me...
    via halfpoint

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • "My Boyfriend Insisted I 'Prove My Love'—So I Left Instead."

    I (28F) was dating my boyfriend (32M) for about two years, and at first, everything seemed great. He was charming, thoughtful, and always knew what to say to make me feel special. But over time, things started to change in subtle ways that I ignored-until 1 couldn't anymore.
    via OrlaFlare
  • At first, it was little tests. "If you really love me, you'll text me goodnight first." "If you cared, you'd cancel your plans and stay with me tonight." They seemed harmless, even sweet in a way, but then it escalated.
    via OrlaFlare
  • Cheezburger Image 10485971456
    via TITOVA ILONA

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • A few months ago, I got a big promotion at work. I was ecstatic, but his reaction was... off. Instead of celebrating, he got quiet. Then he asked me if I would still "prioritize our relationship" over my career. I told him
    via OrlaFlare
  • that nothing would change, but he seemed skeptical. He started making comments about how he felt like he was "competing" with my job, how he wished I would show him he was "number one."
    via OrlaFlare
  • Then the real test came. Last week, he asked me to move in with him. On paper, it made sense-his place was bigger, closer to my office, and we spent most nights together anyway. But something in my gut told me to
    via OrlaFlare
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  • wait. When I hesitated, he got upset. He said, "If you really loved me, you wouldn't need time to think about it." That's when it clicked. I realized that every major step in our relationship had come with a condition.
    via OrlaFlare
  • I wasn't proving my love-I was proving my obedience. And when I didn't comply, I was made to feel guilty. So instead of proving my love, I proved something else: that I was done.
    via OrlaFlare
  • I told him I needed space. He begged, he got angry, he called me selfish. Then he tried to flip the script and say I was the one who didn't love him enough. But I stood my ground. I packed my things and walked away.
    via OrlaFlare
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  • Now, he's been texting me non-stop, calling me cold and heartless, telling me I "gave up on us over nothing." But I don't think it was nothing. AITAH for leaving instead of proving my love?
    via OrlaFlare
  • NoraMagnetic Girl, you didn't leave a boyfriend, you escaped a walking red flag factory. Good for you. ►►
    via NoraMagnetic
  • SmartNotRude NTA. You didn't give up over nothing, you gave up because you realized that his behavior was unacceptable and you deserved better. Kudos to the promotion in your professional and personal lives!
    via SmartNotRude
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  • down_with_ganyugoat You are NTAH. Brah what even. i'm sorry but i can't understand how people keep testing others for love. i don't get it. He malding hard.
    via down_with_ganyugoat
  • Llama-no_drama OP well done, no notes, 100% NTA. A note to all the young people on here: no emotionally healthy person ever uses "if you really loved me you'd do x". (Except as a joke when asking for something small like a glass of water or a hug.) It is a large red flag.
    via Llama-no_drama
  • It is manipulative, controlling, a sign of serious insecurity, or a mix of all three. No mature healthy adult insists you "prove" your love, especially by sacrificing something of your own, whether it's your time, money, career, family etc.
    via Llama-no_drama
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  • CruelTaste Of NTA never lose freedom and independence, that's when they starting treating you bad
    via CruelTasteofLust
  • Teeth_Of_The_Hydra97 I'm so glad you had this clear- headed epiphany. NTA.
    via Teeth_Of_The_Hydra97

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Tags

boyfriend females woman empowered drama empowerment toxic Female Empowerment relatable interesting relationships womens memes girlfriend love womens breakup female ladies women lady
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