17-year-old begs her widower dad to take care of her and her 15-year-old brother after he leaves home to live with his late wife's best friend, his new girlfriend: 'He responded with saying there’s nothing for him to do at home'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Mar 28, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Some parents become less involved as their children grow up. It doesn't take a genius to know that children need more direct support from their parents when they're young than they do when they're teenagers, but that doesn't mean a parent can lie low and do nothing. Parents need to be involved in their children's lives for their entire childhoods, but that involvement looks very different when they're 15, 16, and 17. Even if a teenager technically can do their laundry, make their own meals, and get themself to school, it's highly irresponsible to assume they're going to do that without parental supervision and support. If you've ever eaten a meal made by a 16-year-old, you probably know it wouldn't be wise to let them feed themself three meals a day indefinitely. Teenagers need parents too, and you can't just clock out of being a parent when the going gets tough. 

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  • The dad in this story has put in his two-week notice. His 17-year-old daughter is begging him to come home and at least eat a meal with her and her 15-year-old brother, but he refuses because he's lonely and his girlfriend has mental health problems, allegedly. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10486969856
    via Leonid Privalov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for asking my dad to take care of me and my brother after our mother passed away

    I, 17 and my brother, 15, live alone with my dad after my mom passed from cancer 5 months ago. I have struggled with my mental health since before that and require some assistance with everyday life. Recently, my dad got in a relationship with my mom's former best friend and he
    via u/IloveChickenNuggies_
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    has been spending increasingly more time with her and away from home. Dad is almost never home, doesn't cook and my brother and i take care of cleaning and laundry, though our grandparents help sometimes. There's barely any food at home besides frozen pizza and i often
    via u/IloveChickenNuggies_
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    BS
    via Ahmet Kurt (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    lack the energy to cook myself or provide for my brother, who is vegan and often insists he can't take care of everything but since he is 15 and still in school i can't help but worry.
    via u/IloveChickenNuggies_
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    Cheezburger Image 10486977536
    via Ben Collins

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    My dad says that he doesn't want to be home if my brother and I don't want to spend much time with him because he doesn't want to be lonely. He also says that he wants to be there for his new partner since she also struggles with her mental health.
    via u/IloveChickenNuggies_
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    So today I confronted him, asking him to cook or spend evenings at home at least twice a week or so. He responded with saying there's nothing for him to do at home. Now I am conflicted because I told him that when he decided to raise my brother and I, he made himself responsible for us and
    via u/IloveChickenNuggies_
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    should take care of at least my brother to which he said that it isn't his job to stay home and be lonely just so a parent is in the house. We argued and got increasingly frustrated until i left.
    via u/IloveChickenNuggies_
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    I now somehow feel like an a for telling him what he can and can't do with his partner and asking him to be lonely here, while also still believing I'm not completely wrong in this. Am I being too disrespectful?
    via u/IloveChickenNuggies_
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    Calyptra_thalictri NTA. This is very rough, and I'm sorry for your loss. Your dad's dropping the ball big time, and you guys shouldn't have to pay the penalty. There may be services such as Meals on Wheels that you can access due to having lost a parent, even with one still living and in the home with you, that could
    via u/Calyptra_thalictri
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    help solve some of the immediate problems. You should try reaching out to a guidance counselor at school or social services to see if they have a list of short-term assistance referrals, or if they can assign a case-worker to help you navigate any benefits you should be receiving but aren't.
    via u/Calyptra_thalictri
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    IloveChicken Nuggies_ OP Thanks a lot, i might just check that out if we don't get it figured out soon
    via u/IloveChickenNuggies_
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    Charming_Garbage_161 Apply for survivorship benefits through the government if you can. Apply for SNAP or go to food banks as well and explain the situation. Your sibling might be taken to foster care but that's usually better than starving
    via u/Charming_Garbage_161
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    RazzmatazzOk2129 ΝΤΑ When he says there's nothing to do at home, say one of the below: • you could try parenting your children. I've heard it's a pretty involved job. • we are not your roommates, we are your underage children who need more from you than just 'an adult in the house.'
    via u/RazzmatazzOk2129
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    • did you mean to say nothing or no-one to do? Is the only thing in your mind? hey, we could go to the grocery store so there is food in the house to feed your minor children. • we ALL can learn to cook some amazing food for all of us. • you can TALK to your kids. Ask us about our day and we will ask about yours.
    via u/RazzmatazzOk2129
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    you have a 15 yr old SON who needs some interaction from his father. What kind of example of manhood are you? • I am not your maid, wife, chef etc. What do you do to help maintain this home other than paying rent and utilities? You dont ensure your children have food. You don't ensure your children are safe in the home.
    via u/RazzmatazzOk2129
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    • your bored because you have checked out of your responsibility as a father and man. There are so many things you should be doing here and it's sad you can't think of them. Would you be proud if your boss and coworkers knew this? Your parents, siblings, CPS?
    via u/RazzmatazzOk2129
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    Imaginary-Glove 1329 Yes! Maybe his world needs to know he dropped his family for someone he might have already been in a relationship with....
    via u/Imaginary-Glove1329
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    Shortestbreath You may consider reaching out to CPS so they can explain to him his responsibilities and enforce his compliance. There are also a ton of programs for late teen children who spend even one day in foster that will help you entering adulthood since your dad seems like a deadbeat.
    via u/Shortestbreath
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    ruyrybeyro CPS is the way forward. Dad's either done a runner or stuck in a proper slump, either way, he needs a sharp reality check.
    via u/ruyrybeyro
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    Source4trash ΝΤΑ Holy sh, dude. I am so sorry. You need to reach out to family and let them know what's going on. Your father's behavior is unacceptable. It's one thing to be hurting but you are his children. It's okay to feel for him, but he should be stepping up for you instead of banging your mom's friend when she's barely in the ground. I'm sorry for being so blunt, but you don't deserve this. Call CPS if you have to.
    via u/Source4trash
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    Accurate-Neck6933 And I can't believe the mom's best friend is going along with it.
    via u/Accurate-Neck6933
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    Frozen-Nose-22 Your dad is a massive A. Everyone in your family is grieving, but what makes him so special? His way of dealing with it is to chase some tail instead of manning up and taking responsibility for his kids. Talk to your grandparents about moving in with them or talk to your high school counsellor and see what resources there are. You are not an ass for telling your dad off. He deserved every bit of that and I hope he will be super lonely.
    via u/Frozen-Nose-22
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    Trick_Few If you are in the U.S., your Dad is receiving social security funds from the government to take care of you until you are 18. This money should be used to purchase essentials such as food. It would be good to ask Dear ol Dad what he is doing with the money. He is dropping the ball and this is disgraceful behavior.
    via u/Trick_Few

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parents of teens family drama brother crazy things parents say teenagers siblings bad parenting bad parents girlfriend widower raising teens dad family sister Father
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