24-year-old woman refuses to let her boyfriend of 6 years go on an overnight trip with his best guy friends, claims it goes against her boundaries: 'She says that these things I want to do are not normal in a 6 year relationship'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Mar 28, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

For many lovers, the appeal of a long-term relationship is that you always have someone around. You're never festering in your loneliness, and you always have a buddy to eat dinner with, go out with, or stay in with. Of course, those benefits fail to mention many of the other great things about love and marriage, especially the parts you wouldn't do with your friends, but you can't deny that companionship is one of the best perks of the arrangement. 

Just because you have a long-term relationship doesn't mean you should never hang out with your friends. Your boyfriend or girlfriend can fill that role of "best friend" in your life without your other friends getting left behind. Whenever someone starts to micromanage if their partner is "allowed to" hang out with their friends, it says a lot more about their inability to trust others than the nature of their partner's friendships. 

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  • The girlfriend in this narrative is all too concerned with her boyfriend wanting to go on an overnight trip with his friends. She doesn't think that it's proper that he's been in a relationship for 6 years and still has single friends, nor does she approve of him being away from her for one measley night. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10487036928
    via Madrona Rose

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITAH? Girlfriend will not let me take overnight guys trip

    I've been dating this girl for 6 years. (23M, 24F) 3 of my buddies are taking a trip to St. Louis Friday night, and coming back Saturday afternoon. I wanted to go because these are my best friends and they are moving back to Oregon pretty soon. My girlfriend
    via u/PositiveSeason3665
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    Cheezburger Image 10487044864
    via Kenny Nguyễn

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    is telling me one of her boundaries is that I don't take overnight trips with friends. I explained to her it makes no sense for me to drive 5 hours just to turn around and come back the same day. She also told me I shouldn't have any friends that are single anyways.AITAH for insisting on going?
    via u/PositiveSeason3665
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    Jack AUK
    via Alex Jumper

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Lambsenglish • 2d ago That's not what a boundary is. A boundary is something we set around ourselves. A control is something we set around someone else. This is a control. Now that you understand this, you have only to decide if you're going to let her control you in this way.
    via u/Lambsenglish
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    CommunicationGlad299 It's shocking how few people understand this. I've had people argue with me over it.
    via u/CommunicationGlad299
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    bigdave41 You're right, but you could technically say that she's setting a boundary of "I don't want to date people who ever go away anywhere overnight without me" at which point he's perfectly entitled to say he's setting a boundary of "I don't want to date people who are insecure about me going anywhere without them" and call time of death on the relationship.
    via u/bigdave41
  • 09
    Realistically speaking unless you're physically restraining someone, no one can tell another adult they're "not allowed" to do something, all they're really doing is saying what they'll do about it if it happens.
    via u/bigdave41
  • 10
    fuckthehumanity I otherwise agree with you, but unless you're physically restraining someone This simply isn't true. Coercive control comes in many forms, and can be more effective (ie ab ive) than physical control. It's also often a precursor to physical control and assault.
    via u/fuckthehumanity
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    Fibro-Mite Exactly right. She can give herself the boundary of not dating someone who takes overnight trips with their friends, but she can't put that "boundary" onto someone else. So, if OP's GF had said "one of my boundaries is that I won't date someone who takes overnight trips" then that's fair enough. She'd have to decide whether or not she breaks the boundary, but she doesn't get to yell "boundaries!" As if it's some sort of control switch.
    via u/Fibro-Mite
  • 12
    EmploymentLanky9544 My girlfriend is telling me one of her boundaries is that I don't take overnight trips with friends. She also told me I shouldn't have any friends that are single anyways. Did you tell her that one of your boundaries is not having a controlling girlfriend who won't "let" you spend time with your best friends? Go. No one has time for her drama. NTA
    via u/EmploymentLanky9544
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    AffectionateWar7782 This also isn't how boundaries work. If she has that "boundary" her choice is to remove herself from that situation or not. She doesn't get to control what others do. So if this is a real boundary (it isn't, she's misusing a term to control OP) then she is free to end the relationship if she isn't comfortable with it.
    via u/AffectionateWar7782
  • 14
    Crickettb Girlfriend right? Not married? You are technically single. Doesn't meant you can't been true to relationship but you are not married. Doesn't she trust you? If she doesn't trust you and you have given her every reason to trust you, then walk away. This is an issue that won't stop.
    via u/Crickettb
  • 15
    I am off to 9 hours away with 3 girlfriends for four days. My bf didn't even raise an eyebrow. He knows if he said anything even close to "you can't go" it'd be over. I don't do this often...but it how our relationship works. We are both always happy when one of us gets home from being gone as we love to spend time together. But, we know it's healthy to have our friend time too.
    via u/Crickettb
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    ThickInvader Married or not there is no reason to be so controlling. Right now I am in Germany, staying at my ex wife's house for a month visiting my 2 children. My wife not only Said I could go but encouraged me too. She trusts me and I trust her. That is the difference.
    via u/ThickInvader
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    PositiveSeason3665 OP when I say she is being controlling, she says that these things I want to do are not normal in a 6 year relationship.
    via u/PositiveSeason3665
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    celticmusebooks Going on trips with friends and having friends is PERFECTLY normal in a 6 year relationship as is having single friends. Is she normally this controlling and insecure? Does she go through your phone? Has there been cheating or borderline cheating in the past? Is she allowed to have single girlfriends?
    via u/celticmusebooks
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    PositiveSeason3665 OP No cheating. She goes through my phone all the time. I'm pretty much her only friend. She thinks that because we've been together so long we should be doing everything as a couple.
    via u/PositiveSeason3665
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    Boeing367-80 That she has no friends is a reason for concern. It's not healthy for her or for you.
    via u/Boeing367-80
  • 21
    lookthepenguins You're her only friend because she's psycho controlling and has weird-a beliefs of what relationshps are. So hang on - if you get a job that entails business travel, you can't go because your girLfrieNd says you can't unless she comes along to spy on you 24/7? hahahahhahahaha She has issues and needs therapy. And to stop being psycho obsessed with controlling yu so she might get some friends of her own. RUN mate, just RUN.
    via u/lookthepenguins
  • 22
    CenterofChaos This sounds so exhausting. I've been married longer than you've been together and can tell you, this girl ain't a keeper.
    via u/CenterofChaos
  • 23
    Mother-Chipmunk-2452 "Grilfriend...LET me..." Bruh nooooooo0000. That's not how relationships work for anyone.
    via u/Mother-Chipmunk-2452
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    Crickettb Yep...."let me go" shouldn't be in relationship vocabulary unless it's... "let me go get that for you, you relax."
    via u/Crickettb
  • 25
    oftenlostandconfused OP, just ask her to unpack 'why'. Keep going deeper with the 'whys'. Insecurity happens but it's she's a well adjusted person having a moment (and we all do) she'll see the error of her ways.
    via u/oftenlostandconfused
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    GlitchyAl ΝΤΑ You're 23, not a grounded teenager begging mommy to go to a sleepover. If your girlfriend's 'boundary' is that you can't take an overnight trip with your friends - ask yourself if you're in a relationship or a hostage situation - that's control. 'No single friends'? Are you supposed to submit a friend application for approval? Maybe a chastity belt comes with it?
    via u/GlitchyAl
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    What's next, a curfew and a GPS tracker? Look, either grow a spine and live your life like an adult, or accept that you're slowly being molded into a pet who only leaves the house on a leash or just go all in—sit, stay, and wait for your next set of approved activities.
    via u/GlitchyAl

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boyfriend long term relationship relationship best friends controlling friends best friend overly attached girlfriend relationships girlfriend Travel trip traveling boundaries
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