Estranged father demands son allow him to see his grandson, son agrees only if dad's new wife stays out of it, dad refuses: ‘You're trying to keep him away from me’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 4, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

People with complicated relationships with their parents are faced with many challenges when they finally get the chance to start their own family. When they have their own kids, they have to decide whether they want their kids to have a relationship with their grandparents, and that is not an easy decision to make. 

Sure, grandparents are great, but at the same time, those are still your parents. If they weren't great at being parents, whose to say what they would be like as grandparents? Is that a risk you are willing to take, especially when your own kids are now involved?

For some people, the answer is yes, it is a risk they are willing to take. If it makes their kids happy, they will put aside their issues with their parents and gift their kids this experience. For other people, however, the answer is no. They do not want to subject their kids even to the possibility that their parents might act the same towards their grandchildren, and they would rather separate them while they still can.

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  • For the son in this Reddit story, the answer is somewhere in between. Even though he wants nothing to do with his father, he still feels like his son should have a relationship with his grandfather. However, the person he didn't want his son to have a relationship with is his dad's new wife. When he told his dad this, it led to quite a family dispute, so keep reading to read the full story.

  • Cheezburger Image 10488591872
    via Karolina Grabowska

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for “keeping my son away” from my estranged father and his new wife"

    For a bit of background - my parents separated very messily when I was 14 (I'm now 31). It was dragged out for years, the divorce was finalised only in the last 2.5/3 years. My father was at fault, he's
    via inky-the-pooh
  • a selfish man who is unhealthily obsessed with his religion to the point he's basically brainwashed and only cares about his church. My mother had to take him to court repeatedly as he failed to pay child support. It just never
    via inky-the-pooh
  • ended. I have had a very up and down relationship with him - we'd have "okay" periods, but he'd end up doing something narcissistic and self centred again and I'd cut contact again. Most recently, was due to comments he made
    via inky-the-pooh
  • regarding a se in the family (long story, not going into it here, police involved), that was about 2.5/3 years ago. Anyway - he began dating with the hope to remarry ASAP a couple of years ago. Within an
    via inky-the-pooh
  • hour of the divorce being confirmed he had plastered his new relationship all over social media. (She's 16 years younger - at the time he was 55, she was 39, no children of her own and brand new in his church so very much in
    via inky-the-pooh
  • the rose tinted glasses phase - "the church can do no wrong" type sh). I told him from the start that I had no desire to speak to or get to know any woman he got involved in or dated, long before he met this woman. I was
    via inky-the-pooh
  • all for my mother being happy, but given the sh my father had put our family through, honestly, I didn't think he deserved any happiness at all. And any woman who involved herself with such a man, disgusted me on principle.
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  • Petty as that may be. So I have never once met his wife, nor have I ever even spoken to the woman, messages or otherwise, nor do I want to. She is closer in age to me than him. She has no children of her own, so very much wants
    via inky-the-pooh
  • to get her hands on my son, and start proclaiming herself as the best step mother and whatever else she wants to call herself. His wife has even gone so far as posting photos of my father with my son (very old photos I may
    via inky-the-pooh
  • add given he hasn't seen him in 2.5 years), going on about how good a father and grandfather he is. Following the comments he made, I went no contact again and decided it was final this time.
    via inky-the-pooh
  • I was sick of being hurt again by whatever he pulled. That meant however that for the first 2 years or so of my son's life, he was there. And I will admit he was excellent with him despite being a pck, he is good with kids (not
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  • that he'd support them beyond a few hours babysitting - his own kids included.) Despite all of that, I have never once told him he cannot see my Son. But he has never once even asked. In our most argument, I mentioned this
    via inky-the-pooh
  • and his excuse was how I wanted nothing to do with his wife and it wasn't fair that she couldn't see my son, so how on earth was he meant to see him? (Aka bulls excuses as always)
    via inky-the-pooh
  • He has since begun telling family and friends that I have him blocked (I do on social media, not his number), and that I am "keeping his grandson away from him". I even had one of the members of his religion (who I know) come into my workplace
    via inky-the-pooh
  • and verbally ak se me while I served her, saying how disgusted she was that I would treat my father that way and keep his grandson away from him. (Now he did not ask her to do this, but she still had the audacity to do it).
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  • She also brought up the fact we did not attend his wedding (nor did any of my three siblings). I was furious and said "Maybe stop and ask yourself what he could have possibly done that led to not a single one of his children attend his wedding". This was
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  • dismissed and I was again accused of being horrible and blah blah blah. So, AITA for "keeping my son away" from him and his wife?
    via inky-the-pooh
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    via LPETTET

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Gnd_flpd NTA, Narcissistic individuals like your father tend to be excellent with children, to a point, then they're not and the child suffers. Keep
    via Gnd_flpd
  • him away and disregard whatever his enabling relatives have to say, it's not like they were effected by his behavior.
    via Gnd_flpd
  • Careless-Image-885 NTA. Do not allow him access to your child. Get a ring camera and make sure you don't open the door if either or both of these people just "drop in".
    via Careless-Image-885
  • debicollman1010 NTA and please protect your child from this man
    via debicollman1010
  • wlfwrtr Do you have these conversations with him over text? If so make sure you do. Then you have written proof that he chooses on his own not to see your son.
    via wlfwrtr
  • Ginger630 Absolutely NTA! It's time to block his number now. Go completely NC. Do NOT let your dad have any access to your child. Your child should not have such a toxic person in his life.
    via Ginger630

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family drama aita baby kids mother reddit story parenting babysitting dad Grandpa family grandson estranged Reddit parents children Father
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