Irresponsible woman asks her roommate to cover her rent because she spent her money on concert ticks, friends say she needed to go for her mental health: 'I don’t want to be someone’s safety net when they make poor choices.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 3, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Roommates can either be a saving grace or a pain in the tuchus. If you have a responsible roommate who pays their rent on time, cleans up after themselves, and is friendly but not too friendly, you will probably feel pretty good about the arrangement. If you're the roommate who sends the collective money to the landlord and your other roommates fail to send their money on time, you're going to be spending a lot of time stressing about someone else's rent that they should be worrying about. If you're lucky, you'll pay your rent on a portal, so you don't have to handle your roommate's money at all, but that seems to be more of an exception than the rule. As long as you're living with someone, their financial choices become your business if they consistently prove they aren't responsible enough to prioritize their needs over their wants. 

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  • The woman in this story decided that keeping her concert tickets was more important than paying rent. She asked her roommate to cover it for her, and when she confronted her after seeing videos of her at the concert online, she dismissed her anger outright.

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    品消
    via Andrew Haimerl

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for refusing to help my friend pay rent after she spent her money on concert tickets?

    Currently I live in an apartment with my friend and we split everything 50/50 — rent, utilities etc... its not a fancy apartment, but we make it work. I am a student with part-time job and my friend works full-time.
    via u/babewcute
  • 03
    last week, rent was due. the day before, she told me she couldn't cover her half because her paycheck was short and asked if i could spot her until the next one. i was kinda stressed but agreed to help her since its a one time thing.
    via u/babewcute
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    However, the next day i saw her instagram story. she was at a huge concert for one of her favorite artists. i asked her about it, and she admitted she bought the tickets a month ago, and said she couldn't pass up the chance and didn't think her finances would be this tight by now. I was
    via u/babewcute
  • 05
    furious and told her it wasn't fair to make me cover rent while she's out spending on luxuries. she told me i was being harsh and that her experiences matter too, and I would've done the same. i told her i wouldn't because i actually budget for my responsibilities. and i don't over spend.
    via u/babewcute
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    Cheezburger Image 10489402880
    via Yvette de Wit

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    now we haven't talk in few days because she thinks i'm being selfish and cold. Some my friends say i should be more understanding because mental health matters and music is her escape. i don't want to be heartless, but i also don't want to be someone's safety net when they make poor choices.
    via u/babewcute
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    www.ELJDxpp.pozzARS 100 STATES OFAMERICA STATES Dec DOB LDCD wwwww SHYFIOG BRACTIO SEHAWLS ORNE 87787 NCHED STATES JY 00 LL 34795266P 100 83 D CHE CACEED STEER OF 100 1043
    via Alexander Mils

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    aita for refusing to cover her rent?
    via u/babewcute
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    LoveBeach8 ΝΤΑ She's defensive because she got caught! She's mad at you because you called her out for spending money she didn't have.
    via u/LoveBeach8
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    She needs to learn the old rule: keep half of your rent/mortgage payment amount from your 1st paycheck and put it aside. Then, when you get paid again, add that half to half of your current paycheck and there you go: there's your rent money. Everything left over is for utilities, food, car insurance, gas, and whatever other bills you have. If there's anything left over after paying everything, THAT'S your spending money.
    via u/LoveBeach8
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    She should never spend money for entertainment or extras until her obligations have been met. Even then, she should put a few dollars away in case of emergencies. ETA: I hope she pays you back plus a little extra for interest. Have her sign a little note in case you have to take her to a small claims court or something. Write down something like this: "I, so-and-so promise to repay (your name) the amount of ______ ." Then sign it first then have her sign it. Put the date on it, too.
    via u/LoveBeach8
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    babewcute OP Thank you. Honestly this really helped put it in perspective. I hadnt through about it in term of long term habits. But you're right. I'm definitely going to protect myself more going forward.
    via u/babewcute
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    floofienewfie A promissory note is what you want if you lend someone money. It should state any interest, amount loaned, payments if any, and when it's due.
    via u/floofienewfie
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    vashmunn If you already paid this month rent, tell her she will be responsible for the entire rent next month along with her share of utilities. Your mental health matters as well. Because of her you will be nervous and anxious because you no longer have that money to live off of (food/transport/emergency)
    via u/vashmunn
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    babewcute OP Thanks for advise! My saving is not much either. But I wouldnt spend it on concert for sure.
    via u/babewcute
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    Younggod9 NTA She knew rent was coming up but still chose to blow her money on a concert expecting you to clean up her mess. That ain't an experience that's simply irresponsibility you ain't her parent or her bank she gotta learn to prioritize
    via u/Younggod9
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    babewcute OP Exaxtly! I'm all for having fun after my bills are paid.
    via u/babewcute
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    tinap3056 NTA she took advantage of you and lied by omission. If one of those friends cares about her mental health so much they should pay for her concert ticket.
    via u/tinap3056
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    babewcute OP Right? I want her to be happy but not treat me as her emergency fund. I also have so many things that I want to buy but my saving can't afford me to buy them except daily necessity and grocery.
    via u/babewcute
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    beaverusiv Exactly, if she thought she was in the right she wouldn't have hidden the reason she needed the top-up
    via u/beaverusiv
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    Katiew84 Mental health matters? Yeah, so does OP's mental health. Her roommate is causing her financial stress, and that's unfair. Know what else matters? Having a roof over your head. If the roommate continues to neglect necessities and prioritize trivial things like concerts, she'll be homeless. I wonder what her mental health will be like then... NTA. I'd move or find a new roommate. Don't ever lend your roommate again. Not even a penny.
    via u/Katiew84
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    FiestyMum I would be looking for a new roommate situation for when lease is up. Depending on circumstances, it might be worth a conversation with your landlord that you've had to cover her portion... they might be willing to let her move out sooner if you find a replacement. Especially since you can't afford to cover the full amount going forward. I really hope she pays you back. I would be RELENTLESS.
    via u/FiestyMum
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    Popular_Aide_6790 I get us millennials didn't get to grow up coddled as the younger guys where everything is "mental health" and sure in some ways it hurt us but MAN yall can be such babies! Yes mental health matters but you know what fs up ur mental health? Being homeless! Your friend is irresponsible and like you said don't budget wasn't smart with money.
    via u/Popular_Aide_6790
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    exorcius NTA. It's not the messing up for me, it's the lying. She could have confessed that she was stupid with her money and she needs help and will pay you back, and you could've made your choice from there. Instead she lied about the reason, and when confronted won't even admit to making a mistake.
    via u/exorcius

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concerts bad roommate rental roommate spending money money problems concert bad roommates psycho roommate no money rent renting roommates money apartment
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