As an empire built on politeness, the best way to get back at anyone in Britain is to be as underhandedly impolite as possible. Indignant, selfish behavior is heard loud and clear by your enemies, none more than the debt-dodging downstairs neighbor of this next story.
I was born a heel-walker and only realized my biological predisposition to heavy footfall in my late 20s. Visiting my in-laws, we stayed on the top floor of an older home, and as I unwittingly shook the entire house with each step, my in-laws concocted a series of Big Foot jokes and earthquake puns that would have me attempting to tiptoe with every step. In good spirits, we laughed about my loudness, joking that my lack of stealth would always notify the others of my presence. But I'd never consider weaponizing my loudness, turning each step into concussive booms for an unlucky downstairs neighbor who found themselves on my bad side.
But when the perpetually polite Brit in this next story found himself living amongst a thief, he decided to get payback in the most diabolical way.
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The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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