22-year-old confronts entitled 27-year-old roommate for always cleaning up after her, sparking bitter feud: 'You’re going to want to bite your tongue next time, little girl'

Author image for Ben Weiss
Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Apr 9, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

No one enjoys feuding with a friend, but it's a whole separate ballgame when the person with whom you are feuding is also your roommate. So much can feel like it's on the line in these scenarios: the future of your friendship, the safety and level of calm within your own living space, etc. 

Everyone knows that not all friends make great roommates, but it's hard to see early signs that a roommate dynamic might not work out in the beginning. Setting boundaries with your friends is far easier to do in theory, but when that friendship also overlaps with your living conditions and needs, it can be far more difficult to enforce those boundaries without ruffling any feathers.

Keep scrolling below for this roommate's tale of the end of her friendship with a slightly older and significantly more entitled and condescending "frenemy."

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    "If we're going to start keeping tabs, I'll just stop cleaning up her messes too"
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This 22-year-old author frequently cleaned up after herself, her 27-year-old roommate, and that roommate's dog. Unfortunately for all involved, hindsight seems to show that there was no way this relationship was going to work, primarily because the older roommate thought she could give the younger one a laundry list of all the ways in which she was being a bad roommate. However, when the younger tenant stood up for herself and gave the older one a far more justified taste of her own medicine, the 27-year-old really couldn't take the criticism.

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    My roommate sent me a condescending checklist and then lost her mind when I stood up for myself

    1 (F22) live with a roommate (F27) who, frankly, barely cleans. I'm the one who's constantly wiping counters, taking out the trash, doing dishes, cleaning up after her dog when she doesn't — all -
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    while working full-time and trying to keep the peace. I don't nitpick, I don't complain every time I clean something up. I just try to do my part, and sometimes hers, so the place stays livable.
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    But the one time she finally decides to clean - and by clean, I mean wipe the stove and toss out some trash - she texts me this long message while I'm at work. Not to have a conversation,
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    but to give me a passive- aggressive list of "reminders" about wiping the stove after I use it, putting my drinks away, emptying the dishwasher before
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    she needs it, and sticking to some "decor-only" counter rule that she mentioned once forever ago like it was a binding contract. She even made a weird point to
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    say she cleaned out "oil and asparagus" in the trash-like that was some noble act that needed public acknowledgment.
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    The message was condescending, and it honestly caught me off guard. I told her I got the message, and while I understood being overwhelmed,
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    the delivery was unnecessary. I reminded her that I've been pulling my weight - and cleaning up after her and her dogs more than she probably realizes. I said
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    if we're going to start keeping tabs, I'll just stop cleaning up her messes too. I also said her burnout isn't mine to carry - that we both live here, and I shouldn't have to walk on eggshells or be guilt-tripped just because I'm in the same space.
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    She came back defensive, accusing me of overreacting, saying she was "just asking me to pick up after myself," and called me a "little girl" for having feelings about how she talked to me. Then we ended up fighting in
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    person, where she kept gaslighting me, telling me I was delusional, and twisting everything I said. I snapped and called her ab 1. Not proud of it that part crossed the line, and I owned it.
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    I sent her a respectful apology for the name-calling. I told her I shouldn't have said that, but I stood by the boundary I was setting. I let her know I wasn't going to keep going in circles,
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    and that all I wanted was for us to live respectfully and decently, nothing more. Her response?
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    Cheezburger Image 10491721472
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    "You f ed up real bad. You're going to want to bite your tongue next time little girl. You extremely crossed the line beyond my boundaries. Keep your apology and stick it up your a delusional b Don't stop going to therapy either."
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    So... that's where we are now. I guesssss | struck a nerve. I've been trying to be the adult, do my share, and not make everything a thing. But the one time I speak up and set a boundary, I'm suddenly the problem. She acts like I'm a
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    monster for reacting to her disrespect, when all I've been doing is trying to live peacefully in a space weboth pay for.
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    I'm tired of walking on eggshells around people who can dish it but lose their minds when it's handed back to them. I'm not perfect, but I've been fair. I've tried. And now I'm just done. Thanks for letting me get that out.
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    OneExhaustedFat... Simple solution, honor your threat of not cleaning up after her anymore. If she's as messy as you imply it shouldn't take long.
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    hemlockangelina Every time she makes a mess and leaves, take a pic and send it to her. "Pick up after yourself"
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    fishobsession I had a roommate like yours. I tried cleaning after her and not cleaning after. Doesnt matter. She never changed. I
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    ended up kicking her out (my house). I lost a good friend all because she wouldnt take responsibility for cleaning her messes and breaking everything in my house. Some people never change and its best to get out
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clean bad roommates psycho roommate entitled people karma entitled roommates entitled people
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