Grandmother favors grandchildren from sons but not daughters due to past beef, daughters rally the whole family against her: “I don’t want to let them or their kids in”

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 11, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet people. Family is one of the complicated topics to discuss. Nothing seems to be straightforward, and with so many different people involved, it can feel impossible to even put into words what's going on on the surface of a situation, much less what's brewing beneath. Articulating one's feelings isn't natural for some, yet it's an important skill to learn. Our family dynamics and relationships harbor and resurface the relationships we have to others as we get older. The attachment we have to our parents (or lack thereof), the similar treatments, qualities, and traits can show up in our romantic relationships. As humans, it feels natural and comfortable to attempt to recreate the relationship we had with struggling parent to seek closure about the dynamic, but it doesn't always mean it's good for us. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a grandmother who greatly favors her son's children. Now, this may seem heartless, but it's really not out of nowhere. Her stepdaughters have given her the cold shoulder their entire lives, and she was nearly ignored as a person for them. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITA for not acknowledging my step grandchildren when their Mothers, my Step daughters made it clear I was no family of theirs?

    "I think their children are just tools in this situation"
    via pixelshot / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I need to know if I'm being heartless or if I'm justified. Sorry for the long post.
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56

  • It may seem on the surface like the protagonist grandmother is at fault, like she's being heartless or unfair, but when you read the full story, it's obvious that she's reacting very normally and calmly to a situation outside of her control. The truth is that her stepdaughters never liked her, and they're not afraid to show it. 

  • 03
    | F52 am married to my husband let's call him Mark M57 (fake name). I have three children with my husband, and three stepchildren from my husband's previous marriage. My husband's previous wife on m leaving him with two daughters Eva now 38 and Lisa 36, as well as my stepson Micheal 27, all fake names for privacy.
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 04
    Michael is my son through and through, but my step daughters never acknowledged me in any capacity. On a good day I was simply the woman married to their dad, on a normal day I don't exist, and on bad days I was the a pick me girl who tried but failed to replace their mom. They went low contact with my husband when
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 05
    they left for their respective colleges and no contact with me, a behaviour that was encouraged and I'd say heavily influenced by their maternal grandparents.
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 06
    They came back into my husband's life when Lisa was getting married, with demands that he pay for her wedding and house. Something he agreed to and later did for Eva as well. I felt like they were just using my husband, but I didn't say anything about that as I saw how happy he was to have them back.
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 07
    Especially after being devastated when they ignored him for so long. They didn't invite me to their weddings, and made it clear when they had kids that I was not their family. My husband and son, tried to push back against this, but I discouraged this as I didn't have much of an emotional connection with them. I chose to let it go and
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 08
    not make a big deal about it. They rejected me enough as teens and I said nothing because I didn't want it to come across as if I'm forcing myself on them. But I definitely don't need to stomach that behaviour from them as adults.
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 09
    We continued on like this for a couple of years, but things changed when Michael and my other son Tyler got married and had their kids. My daughters in law involved me with everything in their lives, including their children's births, as a result I'm very close to them and their kids. I only see Lisa
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 10
    and Eva's children at family gatherings and have no relationship or emotional connection to them whatsoever.
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10492484352
    via Monkey Business Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    Lisa and Eva have recently started a campaig against me to extended family members, about my extreme favoritism towards my grandkids and lack of effort towards their kids. Honestly I'm not bothered and they aren't lying, my grandkids from my 2 sons are highly favoured by me.
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 13
    They can never confront me as we almost never talk beyond hellos, how are yous, and byes. But they've also tried to involve my Sons and their wives in this mess. Micheal and his wife were there when the wedding fiasco went down so they aren't buying into this nonsense.
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 14
    Tyler is unbothered as their treatment of me, also extended to him and my other two children. His wife is loyal to me, but feels very sorry for the children involved. My husband has made it clear that he will not force me to do anything I don't want to do, the same way he didn't force them to involve or include me in their lives or that of their kids.
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 15
    Extended family members are very vocal about their disapproval of my behaviour. But I don't treat those kids bad, I'm hardly ever around them, when I am, I'm very polite towards them. I don't initiate hugs, as I do t want to overstep, but I return when they are given. I buy gifts for them at Christmas just like
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 16
    I do with every other child. When together, I include them in any activities I do with my other grandkids as I don't want them to feel left out, I treat them all equally during those moments. I just don't go out of my way to involve myself in their day to day lives like I do with my other grandkids. And honestly I'm totally unbothered by Lisa and Eva's campaign against
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10492484864
    via davidpereiras / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    me. I feel like they made it a point to rejected me and also rejected me on behalf of their kids, and that's why I'm not close to them.
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 19
    I honestly don't feel like putting in the effort at this point, I'm human and I've been rejected enough. I don't want to let them or their kids in... And I feel like they only want in, because they see the benefits my other grandkids get to enjoy. I think they want to manipulate the situation and use me for their benefit just like they use their
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 20
    father. I think their children are also just tools in this situation and unfortunately I'm not in a position to do anything for them as that would mean allowing their mothers to have access to me, and I'm not comfortable with that.
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 21
    Am I wrong for keeping the distance and not really wanting to acknowledge them as my grandkids?
    via u/Aggressive-Rhubarb56
  • 22
    Life_Scratch_2807 • 4h ago They see the other kids getting the benefits that come with you in their life. They want the benefits, not you.
    via u/Life_Scratch_2807
  • 23
    Happy_Winner66 • 3h ago NTA. Your step daughters are just ped that they're not getting the reaction they wanted from you. Literally gave them NOTHING. Now, they're using their kids as last straw for emotional guilt. Again, too bad you have none for them.
    via u/Happy_Winner66
  • 24
    Slow-Try8738 3h ago Honey...! You are a saint. You I have so much clear understanding about this whole thing. Your Husband, sons, their wives and their kids are all there for you. You don't have to accept any part of your daughter's lives when all they did was reject you. You are "NTA"
    via u/Slow-Try8738
  • 25
    Tremenda-Carucha • 3h ago Wow, that's... a lot, honestly, and NTA because, like, I once tried to mediate a dispute between my daughter and her friend over a sparkly sticker, and ended up feeling more exhausted than anyone, so I get the need to just... step
    via u/Tremenda-Carucha
  • 26
    away, especially when dealing with people who seem determined to use you, kind of like my uncle who always calls when he needs help moving furniture, it's a pattern.
    via u/Tremenda-Carucha
  • 27
    Ashamed-Welder8470 • 3h ago "they made it crystal clear when they had kids that I was not their family, so i am treating their children according to their wishes. if they have a problem with this, they should come to me and clarify situation by telling me
    via u/Ashamed-Welder8470
  • 28
    if i am their family member or not instead of complaining to you." NTA, you are just treating them how they want you to.
    via u/Ashamed-Welder8470

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