16-year-old tricks 26-year-old aunt into admitting he was adopted, his parents lose their minds and go no contact: '[You were] manipulated by a teenager'

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    Context - my brother "Billy" 41M and his wife "Chloe" 39F adopted their son "Ryan"14M when he was a newborn. I am 26F and using a throwaway. When my brother and SIL adopted Ryan
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    they decided not to tell him that he was adopted until he was old enough to understand. It's important to understand that Ryan is a really smart kid, he's crazy smart.
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    B A H P
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    Last Friday, we all went round to my parent's house for dinner. This included, myself, Billy, Chloe, Ryan, my older sister "Ella" 32F and our parents. After
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    dinner, we all kind of separated into different rooms to chill. My nephew and I are both in to Minecraft and he was showing me his new world on his iPad. We
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    were just chatting about the normal stuff when he asked "so why do you think my parents adopted me?" very, very casually.
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    I was caught very off guard because my brother and SIL hadn't mentioned anything about telling him. I didn't know what the heck to say and how they'd explained it to him so all I said
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    was "This is something I'd speak to your parents about mate" verbatim. He nodded and said "yeah" and changed the subject.
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    Not long after, my brother and Chloe came in and said they were heading home. I didn't want to mention it infront of Ryan so I thought I'd sh t them a message once they're home.
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    When they left, I mentioned it to my parents and Ella who were also shocked that Chloe and Billy hadn't mentioned telling him to them either so none of us were prepared to answer any questions he may have. I
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    messaged Billy and in under 1 minute Chloe was on the phone swearing and screeching like a banshee. It turns out that Ryan had NOT been told that he was adopted and by saying "You should speak to your parents
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    about this" I actually did tell him and I should have said that he's NOT adopted. I'm not sure why Ryan asked but he's a smart kid,
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    he must have had some kind of inkling which is why instead of asking directly, he asked my opinion on why.
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    That was Friday evening, Chloe went insane down the phone, I could hear Billy in the back ground saying that I was out of line and I'm not a parent so I don't understand the gravity of what I've done etc. It's now
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    Wednesday evening and my family is still divided and not communicating properly. My parents understand my point of view but our sister, Ella, is saying that I'm an idiot that was "manipulated by a teenager" and has called me a complete a h le for stepping on his parent's toes.
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    I've had Chloe's family message me over the weekend calling all sorts of names. I've been told I'm not allowed to their anniversary party next month etc.
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    Cheezburger Image 10493146880
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    All this to say, it's a complete and utter sh show. AITA in this scenario?? I understand that I should have talked to his parents before i gave him any kind of answer but it was in the moment.
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    Does anyone have any advice on what to do now because right now it looks like they're going no contact with me.
  • 20
    naranghim NTA. This is absolutely ridiculous that they are blaming you for their son asking you a question.
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    Telling him to talk to his parents is not confirming that he's adopted it's telling him to discuss his feelings with his parents. They wanted you to lie to him.
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    I'd text Chole's family and ask them what they were told because, I have a feeling, she just told them you told Ryan that he was adopted. Explain to them that Ryan asked you about
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    your thoughts on why his parents adopted him and that you told him he needed to talk to them. You in no way told him he was adopted.
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    I understand that I should have talked to his parents before i gave him any kind of answer but it was in the moment. Uh, no. You were blindsided by the question and lead to believe that they were going
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    to tell him when he was old enough. As far as you knew, they'd already told him. If they'd changed their mind about telling him, then they should have communicated that with you a long time ago. This whole mess is their fault, not yours.
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    CI... NTA. He was going to find out. He obviously already suspected. At least he knows there is one family member who didn't lie to him, someone he can trust.
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    His parents are crazy if they actually thought this could be handled without telling him. As someone who's seen this first hand, truth will always come out and his parents by hiding it have caused serious damage.
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    You handled it amazingly considering the circumstances.
  • 29
    LTK622 Hilarious!! They said they'd tell him "when he's old enough to understand!!" He seems to understand quite well. NTA

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