Father tries to force 10-year-old bio son and 11-year-old stepdaughter to get along, ex-wife intervenes, he blames her for sabotaging their relationship: “You need permission from me”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 19, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Internet nerds, unite. We all love a dramatic Reddit story to get our emotional stimulation amongst our mundane day to day. About family dynamics falling apart, the sundering of marriages, and a teenager who's not going to babysit for their younger siblings anymore. When it comes to divorced parents, there's sure to be melodramatic children and situations that simply make us engaged. Reading the background story, the plot, the comments. It can be interesting to see what other people say about the story. I always feel as if the commenters are too harsh. It's so easy to judge other people's lives from afar when you're not involved. Someone will post that their husband didn't take the trash out, and all the comments can say "divorce him!" Be weary of listening to internet advice, folks. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a woman who's divorced and shares custody of her son with her ex-husband. He remarried, and his wife has a child with her prior husband. The son and daughter don't get along though, and instead of being understanding about that, the father tries to disrupt things and force them to have a good relationship. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to "work with my ex" and telling him I don't need to ask his permission to do things with our son?

    Cheezburger Image 10495102464
    via pixelshot / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My ex and I have an 11 year old son together. We have a 60-40 custody split because of his job requirements. My ex got married 3 years ago and he has a 10 year old stepdaughter who lives with him full time. Our son and my ex's stepdaughter do not get along the best. For a while my ex and his
    via u/SpellbindingsMom
  • 03
    wife decided to let things develop naturally but for around a year now they have grown concerned that the kids have not grown closer, appear to dislike each other more, and so they started pushing the kids together more.
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  • 04
    This is not something I know a lot about. I don't interfere when my son is with his dad (unless it was something harmful to my son). Just like I expect him to do the same.
    via u/SpellbindingsMom
  • 05
    Not too long ago I took my son to see a movie he really wanted to see. It was him and three of his friends. We had a great time. My ex flipped when he found out. He told me he had warned the kids they were going to see it together. He told me I should have asked when I knew he was
    via u/SpellbindingsMom
  • 06
    working on their relationship. He said I should be working with him here. I told him to hold up, that I was not about to ask permission to take my son to a movie.
    via u/SpellbindingsMom

  • The father can't dictate what his ex-wife does with his son when they spend time together. As long as she's being a good mother it's none of his business. He should be grateful that she's taking him to movies and doing fun things, instead of upset that she's stealing his spotlight. 

  • 07
    He told me that's not working with him. That I should be making sure he doesn't want that saved for a bonding experience with both kids. He said our son manipulated me when I wasn't told he and his wife were planning to take both kids to that movie and had said something. I
    via u/SpellbindingsMom
  • 08
    asked him what our son thought about that and he admitted our son hadn't wanted to go, and told him as much. He told me they need to do this stuff together or they'll never try.
    via u/SpellbindingsMom
  • 09
    I told him I do not need to ask his permission to do things with our son and I will not ask his permission. He accused me of not working with him. That I want their blended family to fail. I don't. But I don't want to deprive our son of fun stuff with me because he wants them to be
    via u/SpellbindingsMom
  • 10
    sacred for his time only. And I don't want our son to be miserable doing all the fun stuff because he's forced to do it with the stepsister he doesn't like. And I think it's crazy to expect me to ask permission. Especially when I have our son more. AITA?
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  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10495101952
    via Photo By: Kaboompics.com from Pexels / Canva

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  • 12
    EDJardin ⚫13h ago NTA, I can see why you're divorced. If he wants to save an activity to do with the kids, he needs to use his big- boy words and tell you. He's a special kind of stupid if he thinks an 11 year old is going to do it.
    via u/EDJardin
  • 13
    judgingA-holes • 13h ago NTA - You shouldn't have to ask permission to do everyday life things with your son. I do understand asking permission for out of state vacations, medical stuff, etc, but not for going to the movies or something like that.
    via u/judgingA-holes
  • 14
    Also sorry but what your ex is doing is not going to create the bond that he thinks it is, in fact it's going to do the opposite..... made evident by the "they apprear to dislike each other more" since they've been trying to push them. As long as they
    via u/judgingA-holes
  • 15
    can be civil to each other when they are around each other they don't have to be BFFs.
    via u/judgingA-holes
  • 16
    Ok-Contact-7218 • 13h ago You absolutely should not. have to ask permission to do a normal everyday activity. What next? Check with him before trying a new restaurant that he might have wanted to take him to.
    via u/Ok-Contact-7218
  • 17
    Why couldn't he have texted you and let you know that he was planning on taking the kids to such and such place and would it be okay if he did it and not you.
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  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10495102720
    via dimaberlinphotos / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    No-Function223 • 13h ago Nta. The responsibility of his family is on his head. If he wants to "reserve" an activity, then it's on him to make that request to you. It's not your son's job, he's 11.
    via u/No-Function223
  • 20
    It's not your job either to keep him informed of every single thing you do with your son. If it's something he wants, it's something he needs to be on top of. He just wants to be lazy and make you do his job for him.
    via u/No-Function223
  • 21
    babykrassy 13h ago your ex sounds less like a co- parent and more like a project manager pitching team bonding exercises. you're not a villain for taking your own kid to a movie without running it by the
    via u/babykrassy
  • 22
    dad's stepfamily integration schedule. if anything, you're the only one actually listening to what your son wants instead of trying to force a sitcom plot arc.
    via u/babykrassy
  • 23
    Mother Search3350 • 13h ago Tell him to f off and leave you out of his issues with his step child.
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  • 24
    You have ONE child and your only concern and responsibilities begin and start with him.
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  • 25
    What does and doesn't happen in his house is no more your business or concern than what happens in yours.
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  • 26
    What you do or don't do with your son is none of his damned business either. All that forced bonding is going to destroy whatever relationship he has with his son and cause a lot of resentment.
    via u/Mother Search3350
  • 27
    No pre teen boy wants to be forced to spend all his free time with some random girl just because his father is married to the mom. NTAH
    via u/Mother Search3350

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