Entitled 17-year-old keeps making 16-year-old friend buy coffees for her, friend calls her out for never paying her back: 'She could easily just go get one herself'

Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor

Apr 20, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Friends are supposed to have each other's backs and pay each other back. Of course, great friendships should not involve one person keeping score on how much they help the other. Not everything in a friendship can be quantified like that, so tracking how often one person commutes to the other or how often one person helps the other should not tell the full story of the relationship. At the same time, if it was always a great friendship, there shouldn't be an impulse to keep score at all.

This is unfortunately something that most teenagers and young adults have to learn, especially when they get to a more self-sufficient place. Some friends reveal themselves to be more demanding than others. Even in my late twenties, I remember coming to realize that a close friend was far more reliant on her support system to do things for her than I was or that our other peers were. This teenager had a similar confrontation with her friend after she realized that she was never going to be paid back for all the coffees she had gifted her so-called "bestie."

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via Emil Kalibradov

_{The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.}
Again, one should not feel the need to keep score in a friendship if it's a good friendship. However, in this instance, it was only a matter of time before this 16-year-old author realized that she was contributing far more to her friendship with her 17-year-old best friend and was getting nothing in return. These kinds of confrontations, though difficult, are necessary for both parties if they are willing to learn and grow. Unfortunately, as we all know, one's willingness to take that kind of criticism and improve truly depends on the person.
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"AITA for cancelling on my friend after she wouldn’t pay for our lunch?"

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_{The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.}
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