Husband refuses to let wife's friend see their baby after friend claims he is ‘just the baby daddy’, wife takes her friend's side: ‘He’s not the one having a baby, he doesn’t matter’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 21, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Everyone knows that when you have your first baby, your relationships with everyone else in your life change. It doesn't necessarily mean that those relationships change for the worse, but they do change. Mostly because everyone in your life is now getting 'downgraded' on the scale of importance, as your baby takes up first place.

Those who are usually most affected by this change are the friends. Their role in the new parents' lives changes completely once a baby is also in the picture. Some easily accept that, others, not so much…

The one thing friends shouldn't do is act out of jealousy or malice, this would only push the new parents away. They should be supportive, but also respectful of their new roles and the new boundaries being set. That is simply how life goes. 

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  • The friend in the story below was neither supportive nor respectful, which led the new dad to set some boundaries. After being disregarded by his wife's friend, as she acted like his role in the new family was insignificant, the dad put his foot down. He told his wife he does not want the friend to be around their newborn son anymore.

    Keep scrolling to read how the wife and new mom reacted to these demands.

  • 01
    "If she can't respect me as a father, then I don't want her around my son"
    via miodrag ignjatovic

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AIO for not wanting my wife’s friend seeing our baby anymore?"

    My wife (29f) and I (30m) recently had a baby boy. My wife's friend (we'll call her "Shelly") has been nothing but disrespectful to me and my role as a father during the
    via Puzzleheaded_Fan2576
  • 03
    entire pregnancy. Shelly has a 3 year old and a lot of baby daddy drama. Since my wife has been pregnant Shelly has told me every time I see her that I'm "just a baby daddy"
    via Puzzleheaded_Fan2576
  • 04
    and implied that my role in my son's life would not be significant. The day my wife went into labor Shelly started a group chat with my wife, herself, and their mutual
    via Puzzleheaded_Fan2576
  • 05
    friend. When their mutual friend asked how I was handling the pressure of my wife being in labor, Shelly replied with "who cares, he's not the one having a baby,
    via Puzzleheaded_Fan2576
  • 06
    he doesn't matter". Then our baby was born. Shelly came to visit at the hospital the next day. When she came into the room she took my son right out of my arms and
    via Puzzleheaded_Fan2576
  • 07
    said "give me my baby". She then continued to make the "I'm just a baby daddy" remarks. After she left I told my wife if shelly can't respect me as a father then I don't
    via Puzzleheaded_Fan2576
  • 08
    want her around my son. My wife understands where I'm coming from but sympathizes with Shelly because Shelly doesn't have a supportive partner to help
    via Puzzleheaded_Fan2576
  • 09
    a supportive partner to help raise her child like my wife has with me and sees it as a jealousy thing. My wife thinks not allowing Shelly to see our son is going too far. Am I overreacting?
    via Puzzleheaded_Fan2576
  • 10
    D
    via Andreas Wohlfahrt

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    Capital-9 Shelly is a blly. She's probably been bu ying your wife ever since she meet her. It's their dynamic now. I'm not sure what to tell you that hasn't already been said.
    via Puzzleheaded_Fan2576
  • 12
    Somehow you need to find out how this behavior began, and get your wife to recognize it. Every time Shelly says anything even a little out of line, you'll have to
    via Puzzleheaded_Fan2576
  • 13
    point it out, either right away or alone with your wife. Can you find another friend of your wife's who can see this toxic behavior?
    via Puzzleheaded_Fan2576
  • 14
    BurgerQue Sometimes it helps to rephrase things. "You're saying that since Shelly doesn't have a supportive partner, it's ok for her to
    via BurgerQue**
  • 15
    disrespect and belittle me? What did I do?" Also, it's your kid too. You're allowed to set boundaries for them, and I'd say that if
    via BurgerQue**
  • 16
    somebody wants to put me down in front of my kids they won't be around my kids any more.
    via BurgerQue**
  • 17
    Quiet-Hamster6509 Shelley continues to make these completely disrespectful and inappropriate remarks to my face and not once have you ever stopped her. Please consider my
    via Quiet-Hamster6509
  • 18
    feelings in this as your husband and our child's father. If she continues to say these things to me, I will start to respond to her every time. I don't want our child growing up and hearing her talk
    via Quiet-Hamster6509
  • 19
    about me like this - it's not ok. I don't want this behaviour to continue because it's already wearing on me now."
    via Quiet-Hamster6509
  • 20
    Buncha Malarkey123 Not overreacting. Your wife is compassionate, as she can see that shelly's behavior is pure projection from her own painful experiences.
    via BunchaMalarkey123
  • 21
    If I were you, I would compromise with your wife. Shelly can still be in everyone's life, but you should reasonably expect your wife to have a talk with Shelly about her disrespectful behavior toward you.
    via BunchaMalarkey123
  • 22
    Also, your wife should grow a spine and stand up for you when Shelly makes those comments. "Shelly - Please don't talk to my husband that way." "Shelly, Im going to have to ask you to leave if you continue referring to my husband as a baby daddy."
    via BunchaMalarkey123
  • 23
    If I were you I would be more upset at my wife not standing up for me, than Shelly for disrespecting me out of her own ignorance/pain.
    via BunchaMalarkey123

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aita marriage baby drama friends wife relationship-drama reddit story relationships parenting husband advice couples dad love Reddit mom married
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