Adopted 14-year-old hostile towards bio dad’s wife, he plans a summer trip to visit son so they can bond, she refuses to go: “Accept where your birth son is at”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 21, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet goers. Having children is a decision that many people might make too freely. It's one of those things to just do because everyone else is doing it. Just a normal functioning member of society putting in your duty to produce offspring into this crazy, silly, surreal world. Not everyone is ready for something like that, and the consequences are dire and eternal. 

The thing about having children is that it isn't always planned. Some people can't have kids, they try with their spouse for so long without results. And some people get one in just one go. When you're young it's easier, which is the worst time to have children, especially if you're a teenager. Evolutionarily it makes sense, but in 2025, it just doesn't. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a woman whose husband had his first child at 18-years-old, and due to his age he decided to give the child up for adoption. It was really mature on his part, and he even made it a point to be deeply involved in the child's life. He had regular visits to him, as well as video calls to catch up on everything. But the child isn't too happy about sharing his bio dad's love with anyone else. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to visit my husband's birth son with him this summer?

    Cheezburger Image 10496143360
    via Eren Li from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My dog was really important to me. He was my unofficial emotional support animal after my mother di d of cancer. Sometimes, I would spend ages crying, and he helped me through that trauma.
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 03
    My husband has a 14 year old son who was given up for adoption at birth. My husband and his ex were 18 and did not feel ready to parent so they chose to let him be raised by people who wanted him desperately. They have an open adoption. They visit about once a
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 04
    year and do regular video calls with their birth son. This has always been a source of joy for their birth son from what I have seen.
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 05
    My husband was upfront about all of this from the start. He never hid anything and the contact has been consistent our whole relationship.
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 06
    So here's the thing. I have met his birth son once. It was before we got married and I knew he did not like me. The whole meeting was awkward and the time we spent together was awkward. His parents had to correct him a couple of times for being r de. I did not visit with my husband the next two
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 07
    times he went. My husband's ex is also married now and her husband had a similar experience with our spouses birth son.
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 08
    My husband's ex and her husband had a baby almost 2 years ago. My husband and I had ours 5 months ago. Their birth son did not appear very happy to hear his birth parents were having more kids. He has siblings he's growing up with so he's not an only child and never was. But I know my husband and
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 09
    his ex are hoping their birth son will see the babies as the half siblings that they technically are. Especially when he has such a good relationship with them.
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 10
    Ex's husband has picked up on the same vibe as me that it's not happening and that their birth son during video calls is only really happy to see/talk to his birth parents and not us or the babies. And we get this. But we've had a lot of similar experiences here.
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 11
    We're not really anything to this kid but the people his birth parents married and had more kids with. Ex's husband said there is some hostility our spouses birth son has toward us or him, but he believes us. And he told me he was left on a video call for a couple of minutes
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 12
    when his wife was tending to their child and the teen glared at him and was mumbling under his breath.
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 13
    He told me his wife appeared surprised. I also spoke to my husband about my feelings and he was surprised and concerned. So now both my husband and his ex have decided we should all visit their birth son together this summer and spend several days
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 14
    together. They feel like it should help him get to know us better and get to meet his biological half siblings.
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 15
    DESIGN LOGO OUR LO mes ADOPTION PATERNITY RETRY plicant int Date of Birt Date of Birth Age le No.
    via pixelshot / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    I put my foot down and refused to go. I told my husband he should accept where his birth son is at and right now accepting me and his ex's husband is not something he appears willing to do. I said going out there with him could make this kid feel even more animosity toward us for interfering on the time with them when we all know he loves seeing them.
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 17
    My husband said I need to be there and we need all this to work. He said not going will send a message that I don't care. AITA?
    via u/PreparationNice325
  • 18
    United-Manner20 • 11h ago NTA they need to do what - they did all those years ago and put what's best for the child before their wants. He sees them one time a year. He only wants to see them. If they force you to all go, he will hate the visit. It won't
    via u/United-Manner20
  • 19
    AD P IO Z
    via pixelshot / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 20
    make him accept or be nice to you or the exs husband or the half siblings. You can't force it and they are trying to. You are respecting his wishes.
    via u/United-Manner20
  • 21
    stupit_cra 11h ago NTA. If your husband wants to continue a relationship with his bio son, he needs to respect the son's wishes-- which clearly indicate he wants nothing to do with you and his bio mother's husband.
    via u/stupit_cra
  • 22
    It's not something you are making up, because it's identical on the bio mother's side, too.
    via u/stupit_cra
  • 23
    Is bio mother insisting that her husband participate, too?
    via u/stupit_cra
  • 24
    Ok_Objective313 11h ago Nta, this kid has made it clear to you and ex's husband that he doesn't want a relationship with either of you. Forcing that will just push him away further making a future relationship Impossible. As he gets older he may come
    via u/Ok_Objective313
  • 25
    around to both of you, but for now he's a teenager in a difficult and confusing part of life wanting what's familiar. I do think it's worth asking him what he wants. Your husband and his Ex need to sit down with him on a call and ask if he would prefer just they visit or if all of you visit. They
    via u/Ok_Objective313
  • 26
    should make it clear that it's his choice and no one will be upset with any decision he makes. He's old enough to decide who he wants around him.
    via u/Ok_Objective313
  • 27
    Revenue Original97... • 11h ago Why do adults put kids through this? Blended families are hard in the best cases, this isn't one of them. Stand your ground, maybe get some professional help
    via u/RevenueOriginal9777

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