Woman invites her significant other on girls trip to Seattle despite sister's wishes, thinks it's okay because her SO is a woman: 'If they broke up, I would not interact with her again'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Apr 22, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Going on a group trip is kind of the ultimate test of friendship. It puts you in situations together that you wouldn't be otherwise. You're spending pretty much every minute together, navigating the trials and tribulations of travel. Maybe you have different ideas of how to spend your vacation. Maybe you have different levels of stamina when it comes to walking or traveling. Maybe you have different budgets. Maybe you have different tastes in food. 

These are all factors you'll have to navigate with your friend group when you're going on a trip together. And because of that, it's a delicate balance. You want to make sure you've assembled the right group. A weird group dynamic will just lead to a weird group trip. That's why you want to be very careful about who you invite on these kinds of trips. Not everyone always respects those rules, however, and you could end up in some sticky situations.

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    Pe
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  • Like in this story where a woman invited her girlfriend on a trip without asking the rest of the group. She assumed it was okay because it was a girl's trip, but everyone else saw her as a significant other that they didn't know that well. Read on for the story and see what you think.

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    AITA for telling my sister her SO can't come on our girls trip?

    We are planning a girls trip to Seattle for the fall. My friend group (all women), which includes my sister, and I have been friends for many years, and we've decided to take a vacation together.
    via u/Logical-Definition-1
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    My sister and her girlfriend have been dating for a few years now. I like her gf a lot and I think it's a great relationship, but without asking, my sister invited her gf on the "girls trip" because she has always wanted to go to Seattle. I told her that her gf wasn't invited because it's a girls trip, not a couples trip (we are all, except one, in relationships, two of us being married).
    via u/Logical-Definition-1
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    It's like my sister thinks that since her SO is a girl, she's invited, but it's supposed to be a friends' trip! Her gf has attended a couple hang outs with our friend group, but only when all SOs were invited.
    via u/Logical-Definition-1
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    I just think it's lame that she automatically assumed she could invite her significant other just because she's a girl when nobody else is bringing a significant other. So am I the a hole for telling her she can't come?
    via u/Logical-Definition-1
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    Edit to clarify: there are others in the group who do not want her to come. They just don't know her very well, as she's an SO of a friend, not a friend in the group
    via u/Logical-Definition-1
  • 07

    Commenters came to her defense.

    Disastrous-Nail-6... • 19h ago NTA But you need to reword how you phrase these trips to avoid confusion. Call it a friend's trip if that's what it is. By calling it a girl's trip, she has a valid argument. A crappy one, sure, but she's not wrong to say "well, she's a girl so I figured she could be included."
    via u/Disastrous-Nail-640
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    indigoorchid0611 • 19h ago . NTA as this stands, but I have a question: is her gf a part of this friend group aside from her relationship with your sister? Because, if she is, and would have been included if they weren't dating, then this would change my opinion.
    via u/indigoorchid0611
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    Logical-Definition-1 OP 19h ago • No, we did not know her prior to my sister dating her and she has not hung out with us without other SOs there. If they broke up, I would not interact with her again.
    via u/Logical-Definition-1
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    A... •19h ago Edited 19h ago NTA - she might be a girl, but she falls in the SO category. The idea is to get away from SO's for a bit, yes? I think having her join the trip would take away from the whole idea of getting away from the day-to-day stuff. Nope, you aren't the a hole, but if your sister pushes it then she certainly is.
    via u/Aggressive-Value1654
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    . Tiny-Ad4550 · 19h ago NTA at all. Plain and simple. It's a friends trip and having her partner be there could make it an awkward dynamic considering no other partners are there. She is a grown woman and if she really wants to go to Seattle she's more
    via u/Tiny-Ad4550
  • 13
    than welcome to go any other time. As a queer woman I just feel like it would be super r_de if I did that to my friends. Just because I'm dating a woman doesn't mean that she can come on friend trips. If a male spouse isn't invited then she shouldn't be either
    via u/Tiny-Ad4550
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    Agreeable_Pumpk... . 19h ago NTA, forgetting girl's trip vs couple's trips, I think it's ride to invite someone else to a trip without everyone's permission first
    via u/Agreeable_Pumpkin_37
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    evhanne • 19h ago NTA but stop calling it a girls trip and call it a friends trip. She's a girl, but she's not in the friend group.
    via u/evhanne
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    ca... . • 19h ago Edited 15h ago INFO: When you say "we are - planning a girls' trip" — who is the we? Because while your sister seems quite out of line in unilaterally inviting her girlfriend along, you're unilaterally telling her that she can't, as if you're in charge. Are you? Why do you get to decide?
    via u/calling_water
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    Edit: OP has clarified and is definitely NTA. Multiple members of the group don't want this addition, and it's also established in the group that OP and a few others take the lead at making plans. It wouldn't be appropriate for someone to unilaterally invite a close friend (who wasn't in the group) either, especially since the group has been stable for a while.
    via u/calling_water
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    . Midnightlemon 19h ago 100% NTA I've been in a similar situation where my sister and her GF did end up coming in the girls trip. We love her ofc, but it really just changed the whole dynamic. Yea it's a girls trip, but the other point of the trip is to have some time away from it all. One doesn't negate the other.
    via u/Midnightlemon
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    DontGiveMeDecaf... . 19h ago NAH- I think a better way to have phrased this is a "No SO's Trip" so there wasn't any confusion. I get where you are coming from but I also get where she is coming from.
    via u/DontGiveMeDecaf_90
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    Loop_Adjacent • 19h ago As the sisters wife in this situation, I've never invited myself to my wifes trips. She asks the group if it's cool and if it's not, I stay home. I am always upfront and explain "hey, I'd be really interested in coming along. If it's not, I'll
    via u/Loop_Adjacent
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    stay home, cool. But if I can come, h yeah!" Sometimes I get to go, sometimes I stay home. It's OK either way. Just because I'm alsona female doesn't mean I need to intrude in her & her friends fun. We are 2 separate people.
    via u/Loop_Adjacent
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    Conscious-Aprico... . 19h ago NTA. She's not in the friend group so she can't go.
    via u/Conscious-Apricot546
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    RedditUser-7849 · 19h ago . NTA partners weren't invited. It was wrong for your sister to overstep and invite her gf.
    via u/RedditUser-7849
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    Accomplished-Vas... • 19h ago NTA As a lady who sometimes dates ladies.... I know that my girlfriend isn't invited any more than my boyfriend would be when I get a girls- trip invite. The intention isn't just no men, it's not significant others.
    via u/Accomplished-Vast-50
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    It may be in different in other social circles. It may be dependent on if my girlfriend had a relationship with the group beyond being my plus one (like if the host and her had hung out a few times without me, then I might ask if my partner was invited, too). I just would not assume a plus one unless explicitly otherwise stated.
    via u/Accomplished-Vast-50
  • 26
    A lot of times a girls trip is a rare time away from SOS, and a chance to vent/get feedback/discuss all sorts of relationship issues, so if there is a couple present... every one at the table isn't equally at liberty to participate in the conversation, if that makes sense.
    via u/Accomplished-Vast-50
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    That said, I have never been in a relationship where my friends became equally our friends. Sure, my former partners were friendly with my friends, even requesting double dates with favorite duos. But I've never been in a situation where they became actual outside friends.
    via u/Accomplished-Vast-50
  • 28
    Either way, I would assume if my girlfriend was invited, that would have been said in the invite. "Hey, are you and xyz available for a girls trip?" is the only way I'd invite them.
    via u/Accomplished-Vast-50
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    schlapmytiddies • 19h ago NTA. Just because her SO is female doesn't mean she can get away with her being there when it has always been a girls trip. If she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to go either.
    via u/schlapmytiddies

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