‘I’m not scheduled to exist… Until 9:00:00 AM': Karen manager scolds employee for clocking in ONE minute early, employee malicious complies so hard that he gets employee of the month

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  • "Manager said, 'You can’t clock in a minute early,' so I became the most punctual menace alive."

    Alright so buckle up because this is the pettiest hill I've ever chosen to di on.
  • So I used to work at this retail job where everything was micromanaged to h_l. Like, we had a clipboard for literally everything. One day I get pulled aside by my manager, let's call her Karen-with-a- clipboard, because I clocked in ONE MINUTE early.
  • Not 10 minutes. Not 5. ONE. SINGLE. MINUTE. She hits me with the, "Company policy says you can't clock in until your scheduled time. Not a second before." And I'm like, okay? Bet?
  • So what do I do? I make it my life's mission to follow that rule to absolute perfection. From that day on, I would stand in front of the clock- in tablet like a soldier guarding the gates of time, phone in hand,
  • stopwatch running, eyes locked on the second hand. I wouldn't press that button until the exact millisecond my shift started. Not a moment early. Not a moment late. I was Time Itself.
  • And if there was a line of coworkers behind me trying to clock in? Too bad. They could wait. Company policy, baby.
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  • Karen-with-a-clipboard starts getting annoyed. "Can't you just be ready to work when you arrive?" "No Karen. I'm not scheduled to exist as an employee until 9:00:00 AM. Until then I'm just a guy in khakis loitering."
  • Fast forward two weeks, and corporate visits the store. Guess who has the most perfect attendance and punctuality record they've ever seen? Me. Guess who gets Employee of the Month? Also me.
  • Guess who suddenly changes the policy so we're allowed to clock in up to 5 minutes early? That's right. Karen.
  • Bullfrog_Para... I would have kept doing the exact same thing, just 5 minutes earlier.
  • Krazy_Karl_666 For fs sake even amazon had a 5 minute time clock "grace period". Mostly becasue there is no way for everyone to clock in at the same time and be cost effective.

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