‘I will never trust her again’: Mother-in-law unapologetically redecorates pregnant daughter-in-law's home and trashes her prized possessions without her consent

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Apr 24, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

A partner's family can be… a lot. You struggle to set clear boundaries out of fear that they'll peg you to be the uptight, non-free-spirited one that their child shouldn't have said "I do" to. Even if you're well aware of the fact that you're correct for setting boundaries with your home, belongings, and anything else that rightfully belongs to you, it feels strange to double down on your opposing opinion with someone you're expected to worship. There's nothing worse than being a pushover… But sometimes, in laws will manage to step over a boundary even when you set a clear one in the sand.

In this next story, a woman's mother-in-law decides it'd be a great time to redecorate and trash her prized possessions under the guise of "cleaning" their home while they're away for the weekend. The woman explains that though her mother-in-law has a history of being conniving, she didn't think she'd take it this far. When someone believes they're entitled to make decisions on what you can and can't keep in your own home, that's when you break off all contact. This story's a long one, but it's a read that's well worth it.

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  • In the middle of a draining, exhausting pregnancy, getting your house cleaned up, free of charge, sounds pretty nice, right? Even though your mother-in-law can seem a bit Type-A, you're grateful that you won't have to bend down multiple times in an attempt to finally reach the dustpan. When you get home, your favorite couch is trashed on the lawn. What the heck happened? Your mother-in-law happened.

  • Cheezburger Image 10497722624
    via Bruno Guerrero for Unsplash

  • "AITA for blocking my MIL after she re-decorated my house while I was on vacation. (long post)"

    *Disclaimer: This occurred while I was 7months pregnant (October 2024) but at the time of writing I have a happy and healthy baby* DISCLAIMER EDIT. If you have had dealings with someone who is a narcissist, might want to skip this one.
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  • I (27F) have been married to my husband (Mike) for 6 years. We have a daughter(4F) and I am pregnant with our second. This pregnancy has been absolutely brutal compared to my first. I am nauseous ALL the time and have to take meds just to keep what little I can eat down, it has taken a tole on my body and I struggle with just basic house work (stay at home mom), not to mention keeping up with a 4yr old.
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  • Mike and I decided to take a mini get- away to just rest and take some time for ourselves before baby comes. Mikes mother (Ann) approached him. and asked if she could do some cleaning for us while we were gone, like vacuum and do the dishes. Ann.
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  • told Mike not to tell me so it would be a surprise, but he's not stupid and asked me if it would be ok. I was hesitant, but the idea of coming home to a cleaned house sounded so nice, and I said yes...
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  • Before we get into it, here's some info on Ann: Ann wasn't too bad as far as MIL's go, probably the worst thing she would do is drop by unannounced and come in without knocking. She would always comment on changes I should make to my house or ways I could decorate, but I would always brush it off, saying I was happy with how it was.
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  • She would cancel at the last minute when we had plans for her to babysit, small things like that. Ann is one of those people who is ALWAYS the victim in a situation, and complains about her life/job every chance she gets.
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  • Back to the story. Mike made his mother promise not to do anything except basic cleaning before he gave her a key to our house, she promised. We dropped off daughter with my parents and went on our 3 day trip that was about 2hrs from where we lived. I
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  • tried to enjoy the trip but it was hard with not feeling well, and I had this crazy strong feeling of wanting to go home. We ended up checking out a day early because my husband felt the same. Mike texted Ann to let her know we were on the way back so she wouldn't be there when we got in.
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  • Surprise Surprise, she was there when we pulled into our neighborhood. Mike and I had been told by a neighbor that she was there the day before as well and I got such a sinking feeling...it doesn't take 2 days to vacuum.. I told Mike to go park down the street as I didn't want to confront her and he texted her and told her to leave. She did.
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  • As we are circling back the first thing I notice is our 2 trash cans out by the road, they were empty when we left so there was no reason for them to be taken out... The next is sitting in the driveway is my small loveseat with flowers on it. WTAF. WHY IS MY COUCH OUTSIDE LIKE ITS ABOUT TO BE HAULED OFF. That's when I started to lose it.. I was trying to hold it
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  • together but started having a full blown panic attack. I was crying and couldn't get a breathe. After I was calm enough that Mike felt safe to leave me he went into the house to see the damage, I could not bring myself to go in. I sat
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  • outside on my little flower couch and called my mom and sobbed. Mike came back out and just said "it's bad". I immediately blocked MIL. I felt numb. I went and sat at my best friends house while Mike started fixing the worst of it..
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  • Cheezburger Image 10497722880
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • THE DAMAGE: Where do I even start.. Ann had touched EVERYTHING. Furniture had been moved, my pictures/art taken down and replaced with stuff she had bought, fall decor had thrown up on everything. Pretty sure she bought out our local dollar store. Ann had gotten into closets and
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  • re-arranged all my stuff. There were new sheets on my bed and nails and command hooks everywhere... bathrooms bedrooms living-room kitchen... It. Was. Insane. She had started putting up wall paper in the living-room. There was a can of paint in the bathroom, thank god we came
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  • back a day early. She was going to paint my daughters pink flower bathroom GREY. There were baskets and piles of laundry all over the floor (I had washed put away everything before I left) After Mike had gotten the worst and shocking changes somewhat fixed (taking down the wall paper and moving furniture back ect) I came back over with my friend. I just
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  • absorbed it and started throwing stuff in trash bags. Everything that was not mine. After 4 hours the 3 of us had most everything taken down and put back how it was supposed to be. There were TEN stuffed full 13gallon trash bags of cr p. I felt so violated. How
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  • could the 3 and a half years of work I had put into our home be erased in two days? I spent the next several hours picking up the mess she had left. Oh and had she actually done any cleaning? Not a chance. She took what was mine and made it hers.
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  • It wasn't until the next day when I started to find things missing. The b had actually thrown away my nice rugs and replaced them with cheap dollar store cr ip. (no hate on the dollar store but they were an ugly brown) My daughters toys, sentimental items, a handmade children's rocker from my great grandfather.. She had absolutely
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  • no intention of replacing anything, she was "helping me" by throwing out stuff that wasn't "pretty" or looked "old" or "broken". To know she had gone through my home and passed judgment on things she didn't feel was worthy to be displayed or even kept.. that she took my things and hauled them down to the road for the trash truck to take.. It broke something inside me.
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  • When Mike went to confront his mother she said she was sorry for upsetting me, but still to this day does not see anything wrong with what she did. She was actually upset with me for immediately taking everything down and not "Even giving it a chance". Our relationship is de d to me, but she keeps harassing my husband wanting to know when things will "go back to normal" I will never trust her again.
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  • It took me months to fix everything like the closets and cabinets. Honestly, it was kind of impressive how much she did in 2 days (she stayed the night at our house and probably didn't sleep). I kept my daughter from her insanity for 3 months, but at my husbands request, have let her go over there for short visits. He wants her to know his parents and I respect that, but I don't feel comfortable with it. I did not invite her to my baby shower and other family supported this decision.
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  • Did I overreact and make too big a deal out of this? Is it even a big deal? Should I just brush it under the rug and pretend it never happened like Ann wants?
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  • If you made it this far, Thank you very much for reading my story. I started listening to the podcast about a month ago and it gave me the push I needed to put it all out there, sorry it was so long, but there was just so much....l know I left things out. Will do my best to respond to comments. I would genuinely appreciate feedback on this situation. Thank you all again. I hope getting it out will help me not lay in bed. and think about it at night. -Val
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  • Update to answer some questions (wow there's a lot so it may be tomorrow before I get to all of them, thank you guys so much for the support) 1.Yes we got the key back asap.
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  • 2.The reason I didn't take legal action or just straight retaliation (believe me I thought about it) was due to a miscarriage scare that same night. After the panic attack and just the stress and work of cleaning up I started cramping and couldn't remember the last time I had felt a
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  • kick. I went to lay down and called my doctor who said as long as I don't start bl ding or go for more than an hour without feeling movent just to rest and try not to be stressed (easier said than done) it took me a week to feel safe that baby was ok. (She was born healthy) 3.The trash had already ran so everything that was thrown out was gone forever.
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  • 4. I have a really good husband who had a hard time knowing how to navigate this situation because he spent his whole life in her narcissistic bubble. Since being married and being around my family and seeing what real love looks like he has slowly been coming to terms with his childhood trauma. He stood up for me and stood by me even tho he had a hard time understanding the situation.
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  • 5. What contact she does have with our daughter is handled by husband so I have no contact with MIL. He has a good relationship with his dad and wants our kids to know him. 6. Thank you for your honest and strongly opinionated spit fire comments. I knew I wasn't crazy for wanting to burn her house down.
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  • 7. She did send a replacement chair and 2 of the big toys after my mom went and talked to her. MIL did tell me sorry but husband says she is sorry for the consequences not what she actually did. She does not understand why what she did was wrong. added Shes sorry that I got upset.
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  • EDIT. Holiday and Birthday get togethers are like a tradition with husbands Gparents (dads side). The grandparents are on our side but have been excusing MIL behavior for 30+ years to keep a relationship with their son. Grandma used to keep a folder on
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  • her computer titled "Anns Lies" which I kinda thought was awesome. MIL is crazy, and I know that for sure now and can keep a very close eye on her. But I love the rest of his family and want to still see and be around them. (No, I will not be divorcing my husband, he is amazing to me and the kids)
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  • this one. EDIT EDIT: Hey guys. Wow. So honestly? Yeah, I was looking for a little validation when writing this. I've had people tell me it's a huge deal and others thinking I over reacted, so I wanted to see what strangers on the internet thought. And wow, was not expecting so many strong opinions.
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  • However I did not anticipate it to be so triggering for many and I apologize. For everyone who has had a similar situation, I am so sorry you went through that, having someone you trust take their relationship with you and stomp it into the ground is heartbreaking. I hope you find healing and closure. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
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family dynamics family drama aita entitled parents mother reddit story family feud parenting in laws mother in law entitled family reddit thread Reddit entitled people
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