Woman promises to make pregnant coworker a custom baby gift, only to discover she was the only coworker not invited to the baby shower, she reconsiders her promise: ‘I’m hurt'

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 26, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

It's weird how, even though we spend most of our day at work with our coworkers, we still don't consider most of them to be our real-life friends. Even if you have a great workplace relationship with them, you still don't invite them to your birthday, and it is like that for most employees at their places of work.

If you do see yourself inviting a coworker to a social event that has nothing to do with work, consider yourself lucky. That means that you managed to break that barrier, and hopefully, this will lead to a much better workplace environment, not to mention that you will get to have more friends.

However, you must also be aware that sometimes these friendships can be one-sided, and that is a bummer. You might consider a coworker a friend that you would like to see outside of work, but they do not necessarily feel the same. Then, when you find out they did not invite you to something you fully expected to attend, the whole workplace environment might crumble into pieces.

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  • The woman in the story below might not have expected to be invited to her coworker's baby shower, but it sure did hurt when she found out she was the only one excluded. It especially hurt because she valued their workplace relationship, and had already promised to make her pregnant coworker a custom baby gift.

    Well, she is not very eager to make it anymore…

     

  • Cheezburger Image 10498020096
    via Kampus Production

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "WIBTA if I didn’t give my coworker a custom baby gift?"

    I have a side hobby making custom baby chalkboards (the kind where you fill in monthly information about height, weight, # of teeth, things they love, milestones, favorites,
    via Pretend_Astronaut54
  • etc). I have given one away as a gift to a coworker last fall for her first baby, and I've got another coworker who is due with her 1st child in about 2 months.
    via Pretend_Astronaut54
  • Coworker ("Grace") knows about the baby boards, has commented on their cuteness, and also knew about the gifted one I made for our coworker. I kindly
    via Pretend_Astronaut54
  • asked her a few months ago if she would like me to make a custom one as a gift for her child due early this summer, and she said "yes."
    via Pretend_Astronaut54
  • Today, I found out that Grace recently had a baby shower that coworkers were invited to. I didn't get an invite. This was talked about in public at the workplace today - at
    via Pretend_Astronaut54
  • lunch, multiple women were talking about a baby name/guessing game they had played with her - and I jokingly said, "Oh was there a name guessing sheet that I
    via Pretend_Astronaut54
  • missed out on?" (not knowing about the shower). A few of the ladies kinda looked away and didn't say anything, but Grace said nonchalantly "Oh, it wasn't something everyone
    via Pretend_Astronaut54
  • was invited to, and I didn't think you'd want to come." I kinda laughed and brushed it off, but inside I was a bit hurt as I have a pretty good working relationship with her
    via Pretend_Astronaut54
  • and definitely would have attended if I was invited/available. I'm now unsure if I should make her a custom baby board when I wasn't invited to
    via Pretend_Astronaut54
  • the shower. I've brought it up with my husband, and he thinks I shouldn't make one unless she expressly asks me about it again. WIBTA if I didn't make her this custom gift?
    via Pretend_Astronaut54
  • Cheezburger Image 10498020352
    via pixelshot
  • Bring MeAPinot Grigio Typically, I'd say NTA - no one is required to gift anything to anyone, especially if not invited to the babyshower (where a gift is expected). It's also kind of an AH move to
    via BringMeAPinotGrigio
  • invite some coworkers and not others, especially then to go talk about it in front of the uninvited ones. HOWEVER... you did point blank ask her if she wanted one of your gifts, and she said
    via BringMeAPinotGrigio
  • yes. So that adds some complexity. Was your offer contingent on the baby shower invite? Because that's kind of how it's coming off right now. If you're upset because you feel snubbed of an invite,
    via BringMeAPinotGrigio
  • that's one thing and you're pretty justified. If you're upset because you thought you had a closer relationship to Grace and wanted to celebrate with her, I think there's still an opportunity to do something nice together (lunch, coffee,
    via BringMeAPinotGrigio
  • etc) and gift her the chalkboard. Sometimes all it takes is you saying "Hey, I was really bummed I missed out on your shower. Can we carve out some time to celebrate too?" All depends on where you're at.
    via BringMeAPinotGrigio
  • Pretend_Astronaut54 No, it wasn't contingent on an invite. At the time of the offer I really didn't think of what a future shower would look like or who would be invited; sometimes these things are thrown as a work event in the breakroom. I didn't know that some coworkers would be invited to a private one and others wouldn't (I don't even know if it was family + close friends or just friends).
    via Pretend_Astronaut54
  • slap-a-frap NTA - Don't make her one and when she asks why reply with "Oh I don't do it for everyone and since you thought I didn't want to be at your shower I thought that you didn't want anything from me" I'm being extra petty today.
    via slap-a-frap
  • smurfy211 NTA- and if she asks about it I'd simply say "if you didn't think us close enough to invite me to the shower, asking for a free gift again isn't very polite. After I wasn't included it doesn't
    via smurfy211
  • seem that there is a close enough connection to warrant that level of effort on my part to make a free board. But I do sell them and if you'd like to purchase one I charge $X for them"
    via smurfy211
  • ShannaraRose NTA. If she asks, just say "Sorry, I didn't think you wanted one." Shrug, smile cheerily, and get back to your day. A custom, made-with-care gift should go to someone who values the giver as well as the gift.
    via ShannaraRose
  • PrincessBella1 NTA. I used to crochet baby blankets for my coworkers until I found out I wasn't invited to any of the showers. I stopped. Don't put your effort into people who don't appreciate you as a person.
    via PrincessBella1
  • Smarterthanuthink867 NTA. Definitely don't make one for her. If she asks for one, make her pay for it. Why waste your time and money on a custom gift when she doesn't. even feel friendly enough with you to invite her to the baby shower?
    via Smarterthanuthink867
  • Omshadiddle Depending on how petty you're feeling, I'd be tempted to say 'oh, I had it all ready to give to you at your baby shower, but when I missed it, I had a paying customer who was desperate for one, so I sold it to them.'
    via Omshadiddle

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aita presents pregnancy employee work coworkers gift reddit story Office workplace entitled pregnant baby shower Reddit women entitled people
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