24-year-old woman refuses to use $7k from her inheritance that's reserved for her education to front the cost of friend's medical bills: ‘I needed that money for my education’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Apr 27, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Inheritances belong to no one but the person their late loved one left them to. It's hard enough dealing with the passing of a loved one, but coming into a good amount of money influences certain people to watch your pockets and anticipate some big cash grab. Not everyone has mal intentions, for sure, but you can never really know who's looking to get a leg up on your fortune, then leave you in the dust wondering what the heck happened.

In this next story, a woman explains that her friend is giving her the cold shoulder after she refuses to shell out $7k for medical bills her friend cannot afford. This money, however, is reserved for the woman's education, so it's only right that that's what she uses it for. Medical debt is a big problem in the U.S., for sure, but it's not fair to ask a friend to choose between charity and their education. Scroll to see how the story unfolds.

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  • 01
    סכככי כככ Medical Billing Statement Admission Date: August 19,2018 Discharge Date: August 28,20 Service Date 8-19-18 -20-18 8-20-18 4-31-18 21-14 Pa Off Blood Immunization Vaccine Office visit Blood draw Amount 85 2 leenanzation Vaccine
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for refusing to use my inheritance to pay for my best friend's medical bills?"

    I (24F) have been best friends with my childhood bestie for almost 20 years. We've always been super close, like sisters tbh.
    via Suspicious-Ground638
  • 03
    She recently got diagnosed with a serious health condition that requires a ton of medical care. It's not terminal but it's pretty bad, and she can't work rn because of treatments.
    via Suspicious-Ground638
  • 04
    Last month, she asked if she could borrow $7k from me for medical bills her insurance won't cover. Here's the thing - I actually
    via Suspicious-Ground638
  • 05
    have the money. I got a decent inheritance from my grandma last year that I've been saving for grad school (starting next fall).
    via Suspicious-Ground638
  • 06
    I told her I couldn't help her out because I needed that money for my education. She broke down crying saying that without treatment she might get worse and that "if our friendship meant anything" I would help her.
    via Suspicious-Ground638
  • 07
    Her parents are helping some but they're not super well-off. She could probably get a medical loan but the interest would be crazy high.
    via Suspicious-Ground638
  • 08
    After I said no, she posted this vague thing on social media about how "you find out who your real friends are when you're sick"
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  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10498580480
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 10
    and now our whole friend group is divided. Half of them think I'm being selfish for not helping my "sister" when I have the means. The other half say it's my money and not my responsibility.
    via Suspicious-Ground638
  • 11
    I feel awful but also frustrated because I've been planning for grad school for YEARS and this would delay my plans by at least another year. Plus, what if she needs more money later? Where does it end?
    via Suspicious-Ground638
  • 12
    I keep thinking about how I'd feel if the situation was reversed and idk what to do anymore. AITA for not using my savings to help my best friend with her medical bills?
    via Suspicious-Ground638
  • 13
    CeramicToast NTA. As hard as it is, it's not your responsibility. To be honest, it's crazy to me that she even asked. I don't think I could ever outright ask a friend for that much money, especially if I knew that I wouldn't be able to pay it back.
    via CeramicToast
  • 14
    If she can't afford her medical treatments now, it's likely that she's not going to be able to repay you later. You could theoretically get a lawyer involved and come to some sort of payment arrangement but something tells me that she wouldn't go for something that would lock her in like that -- but, I don't know her like you do.
    via CeramicToast
  • 15
    7k is a lot of money...but it also isn't a lot of money when it comes to higher education. If you want to go to grad school, you can't afford to just give that money away. You already told her your decision and she's acting like she was entitled to that money -- the fact that she's vagueposting and
    via CeramicToast
  • 16
    using second-hand/third party guilt to try to get you to change your mind is a red flag. She's not handling this like a mature adult needs to handle things. She asked for money, you said no. She needs to focus on her healthcare and not on shaming you for a reasonable decision.
    via CeramicToast
  • 17
    Only give her the money if you can 100% guarantee that she'll get it back to you. If not, then she'll have to take responsibility for her own health just like everyone else.
    via CeramicToast
  • 18
    Inside-Property-4579 NTA. As someone who has had extensive medical debt I know how hard it is to pay. But I would have never dreamed of asking for help from any of my friends. I was hesitant when family offered money to help, but that's just me and my issues.
    via Inside-Property-4579
  • 19
    Anyway, I also learned that medical debt is the one thing that as long as she's making minimal payments each month it cannot be sent into collections and they cannot charge interest. (At least that's how it was in the states for me.) And as for your friends who think you should give her the money, tell them to pay.
    via Inside-Property-4579
  • 20
    wesmorgan1 Money in savings isn't automatically disposable income. It's OK to prioritize yourself and your education. It isn't wrong to say "no". NTA.
    via wesmorgan1
  • 21
    ps> You shared your private financial situation, including the amount of your inheritance, with all these people? Take that part of this situation as a lesson; some things are better kept private...
    via wesmorgan1
  • 22
    Voidfishie NTA. You can look into charity and other options for her, or how to get a good payment plan set up, in order to help her, if she truly is like a sister. But you aren't obliged to pay for this. Though the real a h le is a medical system where someone who has insurance can still have their life ruined by getting sick, not because of the illness, but the cost of the treatment.
    via Voidfishie
  • 23
    International-Fee255 NTA Tell the friends who are upset that you will donate as much as they are willing to her.. you will find they aren't so generous when their own money is on her line. It's unreasonable to ask anyone to give up their dreams to pay your bills, even if they are medical bills. It's your friend who's being selfish here.
    via International-Fee255
  • 24
    OldSag tBiscuits I always love these...someone comes into money, and all of a sudden everyone in their orbit thinks it's theirs to spend. Anyone who has this attitude is crazed and selfish, and shouldn't be in your life. Tell her to set up a gofundme. NTA!
    via OldSag****tBiscuits

  • Unfortunately, more people, year after yea,r struggle to find health insurance that actually covers the needs of themselves and their families. Even still, asking a friend to give you a four-figure handout is not the way to go, either. This is a hard one because I'm immensely sympathetic toward the friend, but I believe the woman's heart is in the right place, even though she refuses to give her friend the cash.

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