14-year-old son stands up to mom after he discovers she talks to her friends about his personal issues, mom refuses to stop: ‘I can tell my friends whatever I want’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 30, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

When children go through the shift from kids to teenagers, a lot changes in the dynamics between them and their parents. Most of all, the idea of privacy. 

As long as your kids are still kids, under ~12 years old, everything that belongs to them also belongs to you. You know everything about them–who their friends are, who they hung out with at lunch, their favorite subjects in school, even who they have a crush on. They don't share because they have to; they do it because they want to. Because they have yet to develop any filter, and they enjoy telling their parents absolutely everything.

However, as soon as children shift to teenagehood, parents suddenly find themselves totally in the dark about who their kids are. The notion of privacy suddenly becomes the most delicate subject when talking to your teenagers, and they become hyperaware of everything you know about them, wanting you to keep it all to yourself.

Which means that if you want your kids to keep trusting you with information in the future, you have to respect their privacy when they ask for it.

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  • The mother in the story below failed this task miserably. 

    Instead of respecting her 14-year-old son's privacy, she decided to talk to her friends about him and his problems, to his face. Then, when he confronted her about it and told her it made him uncomfortable, she claimed he had no right to tell her who she could or could not talk to. 

    Not the best way to gain your teenage son's trust, Mom…

  • 01
    "She shut me down"
    via Egoitz Bengoetxea Iguaran

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for telling my mum I don't like her telling her friends about internal family issues?"

    I (14M) live with my mum and often struggle with certain things, in this case, eating. She knows this and often tells me I need to eat more, no problem with
    via coochiepookie21
  • 03
    that. However, recently she has been talking to her friends more often and if I'm in the room, or her conversation gets silent, she likes to tell them how
    via coochiepookie21
  • 04
    "skinny" I am. Also, I think it is important to mention that I am a picky eater. I am not a big guy (5'2 at 47kg) but recently she
    via coochiepookie21
  • 05
    seems to use it as a joke to get a laugh out of her friends. This happened today when she was talking to one of her friends from church.
    via coochiepookie21
  • 06
    She was asking if I wanted mushrooms and I said no, leading to her bringing it up. This upset me but I tried to just ignore it. However, when we got in
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    the car after eating she was certain on finding out what was bothering me. I told her that I didn't like her calling me the "skinniest" and "bony"
    via coochiepookie21
  • 08
    child to all of her friends as when I see them, it now gives me a bad impression. She immediatley freaked out and said I have no
    via coochiepookie21
  • 09
    respect for her and I shouldn't be telling her who to speak to. I tried to apologize but she shut me down and started complaining about how I
    via coochiepookie21
  • 10
    don't ever listen and she can tell her friends what she wants. I don't know what to do as I think I am pretty healthy
    via coochiepookie21
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    and no one but her seems to have a problem with my build.
    via coochiepookie21
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    Cheezburger Image 10499009280
    via Canva Photo Team

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 13
    Appropriate Tough6168 NTA. Your mom is. She can't get p ed at you when she said something that offended you. She's trying to make it seem like
    via AppropriateTough6168
  • 14
    you're trying to control her?? But she's ridiculing you in front of her friends while you're in the room. Your mom's the a ole.
    via AppropriateTough6168
  • 15
    DrRatio-PhD NTA but 14 is a perfect time to stop hanging out with your mom and her friends. Perfect time for you to grow into your own person!
    via DrRatio-PhD
  • 16
    ResidentCookie3437 You're definitely NTA. You clearly expressed a boundary and she should have respected it. Her saying you don't respect her for expressing said boundary says a lot. Respect is earned not bestowed upon because of seniority.
    via ResidentCookie3437
  • 17
    Mysterious-End-2185 You aren't an a h_le, but parents have been talking to other parents about kids since the dawn of time.
    via Mysterious-End-2185
  • 18
    Any-Media-1192 You tried to apologise? Dude, no. She should have listened to your side and realised that it's an issue for you. A good Mother wouldn't want her Son to feel bad about something.
    via Any-Media-1192
  • 19
    Middle-Cupcake-7308 As Mom I'm so sorry she embarrassed you. Your feelings are valid. She should have apologized to you.
    via Middle-Cupcake-7308
  • 20
    Star Trek Recruitment NAH As the mom of teens, if I didn't talk to my friends about what's going on with my kids, I'd be a much worse parent. We have a lot of worrying, stressful
    via StarTrek_Recruitment
  • 21
    things going on, and talking them out really helps. Asking your mom not to talk about you in front of you is fair, though.
    via StarTrek_Recruitment

Tags

teens family drama privacy aita kids mother teenagers friends reddit story parenting family food eating Reddit women parents children Father
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