'I don't mind paying about $2k': Boyfriend wants to charge girlfriend $1000 in rent and utilities despite her being in full-time nursing school

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
May 1, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Splitting expenses with your loved ones is not always easy. Maybe one of you makes more money than the other and thus feels like they should chip in more. Maybe you'd like to split it 50/50 to prevent fighting, but sometimes 50/50 gets pretty hard to keep track of. Maybe you and your partner can afford different lifestyles but want to live together. Though these are all super common problems, none of them have easy solutions. The only blanket advice you can give is that communication is key. You have to be willing to talk through it even if things get emotional. 

This is much easier said than done, though. Sometimes you each have different opinions and neither of you is willing to budge. This is when it's wise to accept the opinions of others. An outside opinion (or a slew of outside opinions) can help you get a clearer picture of the situation.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10500069632
    via Alexander Grey

  • That's what happened to one couple who were faced with a big decision when they wanted to move in together. While one of them made enough money to live on his own, he still wanted to cultivate an even partnership with his girlfriend. His girlfriend wasn't sure if she could afford it. Read on for the story and see what you think.

  • 02

    AITA if I charge my gf 1k for rent while I pay 2k+?

    My gf (26) and I (28) have been dating for two years. Now we would like to move in. We are currently in SoCal and living expenses is high out here
    via u/Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 03
    The amount that we're seeing for rent is about $1800-2500. I don't mind paying about $2k while my gf helps with atleast $1k or so for food, rent and utilities.
    via u/Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 04
    Now she's overreacting and saying how she doesn't want to have the pressure of studying and going to school so she doesn't wanna give the $1k. Maybe $500?
    via u/Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 05
    Regardless, am I the ah le for charging her? She's saying that other people are supporting their gf without the pressure of bringing cash home. Further information, I got my career going and she is going to school for nursing.
    via u/Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 06
    UPDATE: People are asking the same questions: She is in school for nursing. Income is weird since she is per diem. She takes shifts at a nursing home based on availability
    via u/Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 07
    We discussed and she's willing to provide 400-800. NOT 1k that I rounded up. She will work maybe 1 or 2 shifts per week or every other week. Depends on class schedules.
    via u/Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 08
    I am not in school anymore, I can afford to cover/provide for her. That way she can just focus on studies and we can reap the rewards later after she finishes. I think this is the right move
    via u/Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 09
    I just wanted people's insights on the situation. I mean of course I will provide for my wife/fiancé but we are not engaged yet; we are bf/gf but we're in it for the long haul.
    via u/Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10500069888
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    M.. 15h ago. Edited 15h ago . Just curious as to what her plan would be if you WEREN'T together? Did y'all make plans for her to go back to school together? Was she already in school when you met? It honestly depends on the agreements and conversations had before this step.
    via u/Minimum-Chicken7296
  • 12
    Lil_Ese_Ggee OP. 15h ago She's currently living with relatives. If we don't move in together, she will simply stay in the same situation with her family.
    via u/Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 13
    • pamelaonthego 15h ago It's incredibly difficult to work full time and go to nursing school, particularly once clinicals start. If she's living with relatives for free she is better off staying where she is. Nursing school requires also a bunch of extra supplies and it gets expensive (in addition to regular college costs, car insurance etc). You expect her to spend more money to live with you than she is currently paying; especially given that she's a broke college student.
    via u/pamelaonthego
  • 14
    • princexxjellyfish 15h ago If she's not ready to pay rent, then she's not ready to move out. I understand it's difficult to be in school for nursing and have an income at the same time. However, rent is high and life is no longer affordable at a 1-person salary. NTA.
    via u/princexxjellyfish
  • 15
    lions2lambs 15h ago No judgment but it genuinely doesn't feel like you've planned this out. Neither of you is ready to commit $3000/month like this. If she was your fiancee, that would be one thing but she's not. Why would you burn most of your paycheck while she saves monthly.
    via u/lions2lambs
  • 16
    Outside of that, her statement "other people are supporting their gf without pressure to bring cash home" would be a massive red flag to me, it's not "us" but rather her money is hers, while your money is also hers.
    via u/lions2lambs
  • 17
    I'm not saying to break up, but I sure as sh wouldn't move in with her until after she got a job and was able to pay her fair share of rent and consumables.
    via u/lions2lambs
  • 18
    mavenmim 15h ago . NAH. It sounds fairly reasonable to me - you are offering to pay the majority because you earn more. But I don't think it is an AH move for her to say that she can't move from free accommodation to paying
    via u/mavenmim
  • 19
    you that amount as it would add pressure for her to earn money alongside her nursing training. However, if you can't afford to pay the full rent, and she doesn't want to contribute then she'll need to stay where she is currently living until she qualifies. So you'll both need to decide what works for you.
    via u/mavenmim
  • 20
    lucyfell 15h ago NAH it's totally reasonable for you to want to split expenses but dude if she can't afford it she can't afford it. She's currently in school, and it sounds like living at home? Just wait till she graduates and gets a job to move in together. Frame it as needing to know you are both fully committed and have skin in the game.
    via u/lucyfell
  • 21
    Loud-Scar345 · 15h ago If she currently has no income due to school and you are able to pay for a place within your budget (so long as it's under 2K) I would say maybe don't make her pay right now? I feel like if she has no income
    via u/Loud-Scar345
  • 22
    it will only be indebting her when you can comfortably pay. Once she has income split things proportionally (if you make 100K and she makes 60K she pays $750 which 37.5% of 2K, as she pulls in 37.5% of your household income)
    via u/Loud-Scar345
  • 23
    Kindly-Push-3460 • 15h ago NTA, however, she does not have the thousand dollars to spend on rent so I would suggest she stay where she's at until she finishes school and has a job. At that point you guys can discuss moving in together.
    via u/Kindly-Push-3460
  • 24
    Nyxie_puff 15h ago • Maybe don't move in together if you can't figure out a solution. I think things will end in resentment either way
    via u/Nyxie_puff
  • 25
    4games1 15h ago NAH Why is she even considering this? She can not afford it. I think you are leaving out info.
    via u/4games1

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