50-year-old recent divorcé packs up and leaves overly critical 40-year-old partner at 2 AM, she wakes up to a note: 'Quiet dumping is the way to go'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
May 2, 2025 7:00 AM EDT

It's not easy to get back into the dating game when you've been away from it for 25+ years. To put it simply: Times have changed, and so have you. How you flirt, socialize, and live your life is likely astonishingly different from when you first began dating as a naive twenty-something. You might not even realize how much you've evolved until you find yourself opposite a relative stranger at a restaurant and sharing details about yourself, what you're looking for in a relationship, and more.

Despite all these changes, there are still some red flags that remain true regardless of whether or not you're brand new to the dating scene or re-entering that world after years away from it. One of these red flags is simple and easy to identify: Respect. If it becomes clear that one person thinks they are better, stronger, or smarter than the other, you may already have an irreparable lack of balance. Keep scrolling below for this tale of a 50-year-old divorcé whose first serious relationship after the end of his marriage proved to be a total misfire.

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    I (50s M) started dating a woman (40s F) a few months after my divorce from a 25+ year marriage. It was my first serious relationship since.
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Just six months into this new relationship, the author of this story could not take the constant critiques from his younger girlfriend (for the record, she was in her forties and he was in his fifties, so it's not quite as eyebrow-raising). It got to the point where the author felt he had no other choice but to get the heck out of there as quietly and swiftly as he could. Unfortunately, this did not mean being the bigger man. His relationship was way past that. Let's just say that the author's sudden departure overnight did not exactly make it pleasant for his girlfriend when she woke up the next morning.

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    We got sick right after meeting and spent two weeks holed up together, which accelerated our bond. She and her friends
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    warned me early on she was "difficult" and would push me away. I thought it was mostly joking.
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    Over the next several weeks, she often criticized me for doing things "wrong," started frequent arguments, and
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    would break up with me during fights, only to guilt me into staying: "Why are you leaving? Don't you love me?" If I spoke, it was seen as "interrupting" her.
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    It became emotionally exhausting and, frankly, frightening. During her minor surgery, I took time off work to care for her.
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    She still criticized me for not "looking like I wanted to be there."
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    Eventually, the arguments were daily and intense unless we were around others. A friend texted me, concerned for my safety. That night, after yet another breakup- then-guilt cycle, I woke
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    up at 2am, packed my things quietly, and left. I texted her a kind goodbye, explained I wasn't ready for a relationship like this, and
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    blocked her and her friends on everything. I also let her friends know to check in on her post- surgery since they hadn't helped before.
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    In response, she and her friends started hi my friends and family. She sent unwanted Bing deliveries and messages
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    for almost 4 months afterward. For context, we had only been together for 6 weeks.
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    AITA for leaving like that and ending things over text?
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    Melle2421 • 3h ago Quiet dumping is the way to go in this instance. Good for you getting out of there. Self preservation is key. NTA.
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    . 3h ago Edited 2h The whole situation is crazy. If someone warns you that they are difficult; believe them. I don't blame you for sneaking out
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    in the middle of the night as it sounds a bit unsafe. As for now, get some advice in your local
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    area as to what you can do about the h ment. Maybe some counseling for how to get back into dating is in order. 6
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    weeks is not a serious relationship and should be fun, not full of criticism. Good luck to you.
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