4 bridesmaids-to-be plan a girls' trip without bride, then try to gaslight her into thinking she's overreacting: ‘It felt like they just didn't want me there’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
May 3, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Girls' trips are serious business—if they manage to make it out of the group chat. What do you do when you're not invited to the group chat in the first place? You are left in the dark by your future bridesmaids, waiting for them to come home so you can receive some semblance of a reasonable explanation, because starting over with friends seems like too much work at this point. The woman in this next story is going through this exact situation and doesn't know if she should completely write off the friends who didn't think of her when they planned an alleged impromptu vacation. 

You'd think after establishing a long, supportive friendship, friends wouldn't turn their backs on you… Situations like these are so delicate because you want to believe a friend simply forgot because they're an airhead, and didn't "forget" because they didn't want you to attend. There's a fine line, and trying to find it is like searching for a needle in a haystack…

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    via Alexander Mils For Unsplash+
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    "My ‘bridesmaids-to-be’ planned a girls trip without me. Now I don’t know if I even want them at my wedding."

    TLDR: My close friend group (potential bridesmaids) went on a trip without me. Sensing I'd be upset, the planner of the trip called after to "check in" to explain why. Now I'm questioning the friendship and their place in my wedding.
    via wazgirl
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    "I’m struggling with how to move forward after this."

    I'm struggling with how to move forward after this. I have a group of five close friends who I've always considered my core people-so close that they'd likely be my bridesmaids for my 2026 wedding (I haven't officially asked, but it's been understood).
    via wazgirl
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    Recently, one of them-let's call her Anna-planned a weekend trip because her parents let her invite friends to the place they were renting. She invited everyone from our group except
    via wazgirl
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    me. One girl even flew in from out of state. I've been talking for months about wanting to do a weekend trip with all of them, and I had no idea this was happening.
    via wazgirl
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    I only found out when they started posting on our shared private story that I'm still in. I was literally the only one not there.
    via wazgirl
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    When I distanced myself afterward (short and delayed responses after I understood where I stand in this friendship), Anna called to "check in"- something she's never done before. When I brought up the
    via wazgirl
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    trip, she claimed it wasn't intentional exclusion, just that it came together that way, and gave excuses about me being "always busy" and the trip being overwhelming with them number of people coming.
    via wazgirl
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    Cheezburger Image 10500879104
    via Daniel Martinez For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I told her honestly that it felt like they just didn't want me there- that's how it comes across when everyone in your friend group goes and doesn't even tell you.
    via wazgirl
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    She kept trying to defend it and said they'd "never intentionally hurt" me. When I asked her to imagine being in my shoes, her response was literally, "I hope
    via wazgirl
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    you can also understand my position." I ended the call politely and thanked her for reaching out, but it just felt like excuses.
    via wazgirl
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    Later, she followed up with a text that said something like, "Thanks for chatting, I value your friendship and I'm glad we could talk through it." I didn't respond
    via wazgirl
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    directly-just gave it a thumbs up. To me, it felt more like damage control than accountability. Especially since she knows exclusion is a
    via wazgirl
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    "I’m still sitting with the fact that none of them thought to speak up for me."

    sensitive subject for me from a past incident. It feels like she reached out just enough to say she tried, in case anyone asked― but I'm still sitting with the fact that none of them thought to speak up for me.
    via wazgirl
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    What really stings is not just Anna organizing it—it's that none of the others pushed for me to be there either. These are supposed to be my bridesmaids.
    via wazgirl
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    I'm trying to figure out how to move forward. Do I talk to the rest of them? Let it go? Reevaluate this entire friendship?
    via wazgirl
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    Right now, I'm leaning towards cutting off. I'm not sure how I'd respond if they reached out asking to see me again. I'd love any advice or perspective.
    via wazgirl
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    PrincessBella1 It is obvious that you have stronger feelings of friendship towards them than they have for you. The fact that all of them kept it a secret and that text from the organizer confirms it. Maybe it is time for new friends.
    via PrincessBella1

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friendship Wedding Themes aita bride drama wedding drama bridesmaids friends reddit story friend wedding entitled people karma entitled reddit thread Reddit entitled people
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