36-year-old mom wrestles her 15-year-old daughter who has been wrestling since she was 7, blames her former pro-wrestler husband for letting her lose: 'I told her, "You can try if you want to, but I'm telling you will get ragdolled"'

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    AITA? Wife asked for it and then got upset when it happened

    I'm (38m) a wrestler, i used to compete at a high level, obviously i don't compete anymore but i still lift weights and wrestle for fun. My wife (36f) and i have three kids (15f,11m,9f), i enrolled all our kids in wrestling at the age of 7, the older 2 have been
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    training and competing since then and the youngest didn't like the sport so she quit and now she is doing gymnastics, my wife has never wrestled but she goes to the gym regularly and she has decent strength.
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    Yesterday i was chatting with my wife and the topic of our daughter's wrestling tournament came up and she asked me what do i think will happen if her and our daughter wrestled and i told her that she has no chance, she answered "she is not beating me, i'm much stronger", and i told her "you can try if you want to, but
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    i'm telling you will get ragdolled", and she said "okay let's do it then", so i called our daughter into the backyard and told her that her mom wants to wrestle, they wrestled while me and the other kids were watching, and just like i told her, my wife got handled with ease.
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    When they were done (it didn't last long) my wife laughed it off and acted fine, but as soon as it was only me and her she said to me "so you knew how that wrestling match was going to go?" i answred yes and she said "and you still let it happen? I got embarrased by my own child in front of my other children and now they are not going to look at
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    me the same way", i told her she is the one who asked for it, and the idea that our kids will not look at her the same way is completly false because i taught our kids to be gracful and respectful in victory and defeat, and i'm pretty sure they have respect for their mother regardless of what happens in a wrestling match, even after i said
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    she wasn't not convinced and still upset which is not justified in my opinion. AITA?
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    Calyptra_thalictri NTA, but your wife might want to look into a few therapy sessions to help her deal with authority/hierarchy issues in a more healthy way. As the kids get older the "I'm in charge because I'm bigger/stronger/better at everything/The Adult" attitude gets less and less helpful, and having a big chip on your shoulder instead of working with kids who should be getting more independent gets more and more counterproductive. Someone with some outside perspective and experience with re
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    fraterdidymus Especially because she's mad at him FOR NOT ASSERTING AUTHORITY OVER HER TO STOP HER FROM DOING SOMETHING SHE WANTED TO DO.
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    Curious-One4595 She also didn't trust that he, an expert in the sport, was correct and is now blaming him for her lack of trust. Yikes. NTA.
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    KombuchaBot What does she think her husband was teaching their daughter to do all those hours?
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    purrincesskittens A kid who has been training since 7 and is now 15 is going to be able to put a untrained person down especially a over confident one. Maybe if the other person was a way bigger man but I've never seen wrestling up close but this kid is trained and has skills if she is competing.
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    bsubtilis "I'm in charge because I'm bigger/stronger/better at everything/The Adult" That attitude is trash even towards toddlers, that was how I first learned I couldn't trust my parents at all before I had even started first grade: They thought hierarchy made them automatically right/better when they clearly were incompetent in most of the fields they claimed superiority in.
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    Kids won't look badly on parents being human and modelling healthy resilience, kids absolutely will look badly on parents who insist on claiming superhuman perfection when they clearly are not. The dad did the right thing to teach graceful respect in sports. That's healthy. The mother's attitude is so ludicrously unhealthy and she really has to get therapy unless she wants to lose her kid's interest in maintaining a relationship with her.
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    itsallminenow My dad used to square up to me when I was little and say "You're not strong enough, big enough or old enough to take me on yet". Time went by, I grew to be 6'3" and he said, "You're not strong enough or old enough to take me on yet" and that's when I realised he just had the advantage of age on his side and he was gonna lose that fight if it came.
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    External-Sympathy-47 NTA. Your wife needs to grow the f
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    z00k33per0304 No kidding, her ego is hurt. Why would you even want to beat your teenage daughter at wrestling? The kids aren't even likely to remember this in a few months let alone have it ruin their view of their mom. It's one thing to be "bigger and stronger" it's another thing entirely to be trained to tactically take someone down and incapacitate them. If anything she should be proud that her daughter could take her meaning she isn't in as much danger if someone else tried. Edit because I r
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    whateverhk You told her it would happen, she ignored it, got beaten and then ask you "why did you let that happen"? That's some serious denial.
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    NightWolfRose They'll remember it if she keeps throwing a tantrum, that's for sure, and that is what will make them lose respect for her.
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    No_Bluebird7716 Sorry, but your wife asked for it. She ASKED YOU for a professional opinion, you gave ut, she took exception and was proven wrong. If she didn't like it, that's on her. NTA.
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    No-Function223 Nta. & it's probably a good idea to remind her that a huge part of wrestling is technique & isn't solely reliant on strength. & if anything mom participating in their activities like this regularly would probably make her actually closer to her children. So long as she doesn't act like a baby about losing. Kids will pick up on that & lose respect for her once they realize what a sore loser she is. So long as everyone is having fun it's a great family activity tbh. And you can tota
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    floridaeng Ask your wife if she also wants to compete in gymnastics with her other daughter. Just because she is older or may be stronger doesn't mean she knows the technical moves to wrestle or do gymnastics. That doesn't mean her kids have lost their respect for her. She should tell them that now that she has tried she realizes how hard they work to learn their sports.

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