32 Bizarre Costumes from a 1980s Dress-Up Book That Will Give You Childhood Flashbacks

John Summers • Contributor

May 1, 2025 11:00 PM EDT

Look, I love a good homemade Halloween costume. There's a certain charm to wearing a cardboard robot head that smells like glue and crushed dreams. My mom used to make our costumes every year, and yes, they were cringy, floppy, and occasionally flammable, but we wore them with pride. Which is why I need to take a moment to say: thank you, Mom, for not owning this book.

The book in question is Jane Asher's Fancy Dress, a real thing that existed in the 1980s and was probably responsible for hundreds of confused children and thousands of yards of itchy fabric. And yes, that Jane Asher—the one who dated Paul McCartney before he went full Beatle Dad. Turns out she also made truly unhinged costume suggestions like "sandwich man" and "flowerpot nightmare."

What follows is a curated collection of 32 of the most bewildering, cursed, and "is that supposed to be a what now?" costumes from the book. Some look like lost power rangers villains. Others feel like performance art gone rogue. All of them are burned into my retinas forever.

So scroll on, and thank your lucky stars your childhood didn't look like this.

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01

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02
Sandwich Man

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03
Who needs to be able to walk anyway?

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04
Wait... Is that Terry Jones?!

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I didn't expect the Spanish inquisition!
05
Nothing says carrot like wine and a cigar

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06
10 seconds in, and every boy in town is stepping on your mice

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07
"I have 1 week to live"

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08
We know who's wearing the pants in this relationship

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09
When looking like a clown just isn't enough

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10
He's a crap judge

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11
looks very practical

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12
I'm sure the other kids won't try to push you off the wall

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13
A submarine commander?!

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14
T...Trash?

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15
"We have Batman at home"

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16
I don't know why but it's somehow racist

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17
Can't see, Can't breath, Can't move. Great costume!

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18
Ohh... A jail bird... hilarious

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19
Teddy bear picnic?

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20
"NOT THE TURTLE!"

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21
I don't get it

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22
Elfish Prestly?

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23
Why not Mrs. Zoidberg?

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24
Moth. Because why be aa beautiful butterfly?

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25
A scorpion?

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26
Terry, Why did you agree to this?

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27
How am I supposed to make this at home?!

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28
I find your lack of pants disturbing

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29
Yay! I'm Peas!

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30
Majestic Dragon

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31
It's a.... It's something alright

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32
Mom, Please no...

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