35-year-old boyfriend of 3 months unilaterally decides to move in with his 32-year-old girlfriend, she refuses despite his guilt-trips over the impracticality of his lease renewal: ‘This was less about love and more about convenience’

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
May 9, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

No man falls in love faster than one looking to secure a roof over his head. 

They call it, 'hobos3xual' for a reason, don't they? Willing to catch a successful woman with a two-bedroom apartment and a view, these types of men will go from lover, to boyfriend, to live-in nightmare in a matter of months. Don't let your heart be fooled by a cute smile and the promise of forever love, because the red flags in this next relationship story will snap you back to reality faster than you can say, 'One-year lease.'

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement

  • When you reach your 30s as a single woman, a few things happen. Most notably, and aside from all the jeering about becoming an old cat lady, you've found your solo niche in this world, likely enjoying your personal space in the exact way that you've curated it. Your house is decorated how you want, your things are in order, and a man leaving the toilet seat up in the middle of the night might just derail all of that personal comfort. Luckily for the woman in this next story, she was able to notice the signs of a too-soon-to-be-love scenario as it was unfolding in her own apartment. 

  • Cheezburger Image 10502097664
    via Keira Burton

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for refusing to let my boyfriend move in after only three months of dating?"

    I (32F) have been dating my boyfriend Ryan (35M) for a little over three months. Things have been going well- we see each other a few times a week, enjoy each other's company, and have been gradually getting to know each other.
    via [deleted]
  • About two weeks ago, Ryan brought up the idea of moving in together. I was surprised. Three months feels way too soon for something that big, especially considering I've lived alone for the past
    via [deleted]
  • five years and really value my personal space. I told him as gently as I could that I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment yet and wanted to continue building our relationship slowly.
    via [deleted]
  • He didn't take it well. He said I was "putting up walls" and that "if I knew he was the one, I wouldn't hesitate." He also mentioned that his lease is ending soon and moving in with me would help him save money. That part made me
    via [deleted]
  • Cheezburger Image 10502104320
    via Keira Burton

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • uncomfortable-like this was less about love and more about convenience. Since then, he's been distant and keeps bringing it up in passive-
    via [deleted]
  • aggressive ways. He even joked to my friends that I'm "keeping him at arm's length" and "treating him like a guest." Some of them think I'm being too cautious and should give it a try, but I've seen enough rushed relationships crash and burn to know better.
    via [deleted]
  • I'm starting to question myself, though. Am I being too guarded, or is three months just too soon? AITA for refusing to let my boyfriend move in this early?
    via [deleted]
  • CreativeMadness99 He only wants to move in because it's financially beneficial for him. The fact that he won't take no for an answer and keeps trying to guilt you into doing something you don't want to do is a big red flag. Is this guy even worth all that?
    via CreativeMadness99
  • boofmot No man falls in love as quickly as one looking for a roof over his head. NTA also his subsequent passive aggressive behaviour and pushing will give you an insight into your future with this man. At 3 months this is his BEST behaviour.
    via boofmot
  • PixelVortex77 NTA. Three months is definitely too soon for most people to move in together especially if you've been living independently for years and value your space. Wanting to take
    via PixelVortex77
  • your time isn't "putting up walls," it's setting healthy boundaries and being intentional with your relationship. The fact that he made it partly
    via PixelVortex77
  • about his lease and saving money makes it feel transactional, not romantic. And the passive- aggressive comments to your friends? That's immature and manipulative. Living together is a huge step, and it should come from a place of mutual readiness not pressure, guilt, or convenience.
    via PixelVortex77
  • You're not being too guarded. You're being smart. If he can't respect that, that says more about him than it does about you. Do you think he's more upset about the emotional rejection or the convenience slipping away?
    via PixelVortex77
  • Agitated_Ad_1658 Another hobosexual looking for his next mark......run!
    via Agitated_Ad_1658
  • liligram Ok this is ridiculous of Ryan!!! He doesn't respect your boundaries, is manipulative, and only thinks about what he wants given his lease is up...RUN. NTA
    via liligram
  • Healthy_Glove2045 NTA. If you feel it is too soon be it 3 months or 3 years then it is too soon. If he continues to be distant especially after he renews his lease then you need to start moving on.
    via Healthy_Glove2045

Tags

boyfriend relationship advice single relationship drama moving in moving in together relationships girlfriend love reddit thread complicated-relationships Reddit relationship memes
Scroll Down For The Next Article