Entitled MIL holds son's birthday celebration on Mother's Day to spite his wife, wife refuses to attend: ‘This is a symptom of a bigger problem’

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  • "Am I overreacting by being upset that my MIL planned my husband's birthday party on Mother's Day even though his birthday is not on that day when it's my first Mother's Day as a new mom?"

    1 27 F am married to my husband 29 M. We welcomed our first child, a wonderful baby girl this past year. The problem is that Mother's Day is this Sunday and
  • my husband's birthday is a few days off from Mother's Day. My MIL decided to host my husband's birthday on Mother's Day along with some Mother's
  • Day along with some Mother's Day festivities. She didn't ask our opinion on the day or scheduling. She just got with her people and decided a time and date and expects us to show up.
  • I expressed some reservations about the timing of this Birthday party when she brought it up the first time. It was met with the brush off. She states it will be II Quick". Things with my
  • husband's family seldom are. I am sad that it also leaves very little time for me to spend time with my mom. Or even just time for me and my husband and
  • daughter to have family time. I feel like my MIL took a special day that was supposed to be for me and made it about her son and by default herself.
  • This is a symptom of a bigger problem I think. I am frustrated with my husband for not standing up for me and frustrated with my MIL for always insisting that her
  • and my husband's family come first and giving me friction if I give any push back. I was raised to be respectful to my elders but I feel that I am being disrespected my both my MIL
  • and husband. I don't know how to confront this tactfully and without doing harm to my relationship with the rest of my husband's family as it is not thier
  • job to be considerate of me that should be my husband's job. If I do not attend or leave early they will be offended, especially his Grandparents who I have a good relationship with and whose house it will be at.
  • HAPPY Mole HAPPY Mother's DAY
  • I am bummed out that my MIL has put this expectation on my first Mother's Day as a mom to spend it celebrating husband's birthday and my husband not having a problem with it. He
  • didn't have a second thought about it until I brought it up to him. I know if we ask to reschedule it his mom will drag me through the mud and say I'm
  • selfish and dramatic. I'm torn. Am I overreacting or is this kind of thoughtless/ selfish on their part? I love my husband but am I wrong
  • for being hurt and disappointed that he didn't immediately stand up for me and let me have a happy peaceful first mother's day and took it over for himself?
  • MeanderingUnicorn You have a big husband problem here. Your husband didn't consider at all why this was a problem until you pointed it out. You need to sit down with him and discuss what
  • all these subsequent Mother's days are going to look like. Did he even have anything planned?? You need to have a frank discussion about why you're hurt that you had to remind him to celebrate the mother of his child on her day.
  • And whatever you do, ALWAYS match his energy on Father's Day or you are going to be so bitter. In regards to your MIL, I wouldn't engage. It's your husband's job to set limits.
  • grumpy_g Just say no. It's your first mothers day. Go and celebrate with your mother or a close friend. Let them spend it alone. Don't allow them this or it will become a tradition.
  • Maudegoblinn Go do what you need to do. Take your baby and go see your mom. Say you already made those plans and no one asked you.. his family just assumed you were free.. sounds like a them problem.

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