31-year-old wife pays $700 a month to rent an apartment with her husband, only to discover that her husband's mom owns the apartment and his name is on the deed: '[He] let me keep paying rent for 2 years like a clueless roommate'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
May 9, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Everyone has a different opinion regarding marriage and money. Some people think that couples should combine all their assets into one account, without one of the partners ever having their own money. Others want their husband or wife to split costs totally down the middle, going halfsies on just about everything, and never combining finances. I'd venture to say that most of us are somewhere in the middle of that, combining most of our money with our spouse, but keeping a little bit on the side just in case of emergencies. To me, that feels like the safest way to go about things. 

When you combine none of your income with your spouse, you might feel more like roommates than an actual partnership. That can cause all sorts of problems, especially when one of the people in the relationship is not being 100% forthright about where the money is going.

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  • The husband in this story is not only a roommate to his wife, he's a freaking landlord! He told his wife that she needed to pay $700 in rent a month; little did she know he was pocketing that money and sending it to his mother, the apartment's owner. Did I mention his name is on the deed?

  • 01

    AITAH for finding out I’ve been unknowingly paying rent to my husband and his mom for TWO YEARS?

    I (31F) have been married to Brian (33M) for two years. Right after the wedding, we moved into an apartment he said was a "great deal" from a family friend. We agreed to split rent and utilities 50/50 to keep things "equal" since we were starting fresh and wanted to avoid money fights. So I've been sending him $700/month just for the rent this whole time.
    via u/Hexylpuff
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10503322112
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    Three days ago, at a BBQ, I overheard his mom talking about how "it's nice getting rent from Brian's place” and how smart they were to keep it in the family.
    via u/Hexylpuff
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10503322368
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    Turns out his mom own the apartment, and Brian's on the deed too, I had no idea. He never told me. Just let me keep paying rent for two years like a clueless roommate.
    via u/Hexylpuff
  • 06
    PEDERAL ORDER NOTE AL32730338 D G7 UNENEPENT OFAMERIC AL32730. Rod & Ruhi NE HUNDRED DO
    via Jp Valery

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    When I confronted him, he said I "never asked" and that I'm overreacting because we weren't overpaying. But I feel completely blindsided. It's not just the money it's the secrecy.
    via u/Hexylpuff
  • 08
    I told him I won't keep paying until we talk about a fair setup. Now he's acting like I'm the problem. AITAH?
    via u/Hexylpuff
  • 09
    deathraerae It's not even that you didn't ask. He said it was a family friend. It wasn't, it was him.
    via u/deathraerae
  • 10
    DeviceMotor3938 And I bet she's the only paying "rent."
    via u/DeviceMotor3938
  • 11
    Hexylpuff OP yeah... he's never shown me his half of the "rent" going anywhere. Starting to think I was the only one paying anything.
    via u/Hexylpuff
  • 12
    kradaan If they weren't knowingly in the wrong, they wouldn't have kept it a secret. Making you the patsy in their little game. Looks that way because it is. The paying less than market so you shouldn't be upset is the giveaway. You didn't marry a partner. Good luck with this one. Don't know how one would unring this bell. NTA
    via u/kradaan
  • 13
    Pepsilover12 Your NTA but of course you were the only one paying. In all reality if this was happening to me I'd need some space from him for a while to really think about the relationship. His reply of you never asked speaks volumes of how he views you as his partner in everything.
    via u/Pepsilover12
  • 14
    No-Night-6700 I would be telling him that he will be paying the rent for the same amount of months that you did and then after that, you guys will split it 375 apiece
    via u/No-Night-6700
  • 15
    chocolatechipwizard If OP is determined to stay with husband, I think that's as close to equitable as they could come up with. I'd have a really hard time trusting this husband and his family with anything, however, and it's sad to waste the best years of one's life...
    via u/chocolatechipwizard
  • 16
    Lokipupper456 Nope, she doesn't have to pay anything unless she signed a lease, and since he got her to do so by fraud if she did, she should talk to a lawyer and get herself removed, sue for fraud, and make complete reimbursement of everything she paid already a part of the divorce settlement!
    via u/Lokipupper456
  • 17
    NoCap5295 Oh wow, your husband does not understand what it is to be married. I'm sorry to say, but he does not trust, respect or love you. Really recommend seeing a counsellor at a minimum, and leaving him as the best option. I'm really sorry.
    via u/NoCap5295
  • 18
    Hexylpuff OP Thanks but do you really think it's that serious? like divorce level serious?
    via u/Hexylpuff
  • 19
    Decent-Historian-207 What else is he not telling you because "you didn't ask?" My husband milking me for $16,800 would give me serious pause.
    via u/Decent-Historian-207
  • 20
    Final_Figure 7150 He's on the deed - has he been paying rent, or been giving you the impression that he was? Have you talked about buying your own home? From where I'm sat, this looks like your husband has been living rent free while making you fork out $700 a month for 2 years for a place he co- owns, not cared to share and is expecting *you to be cool with it.
    via u/Final_Figure_7150
  • 21
    Rough-Chemist-4743 Free flat. You just have to pay your MIL an income in perpetuity. I bet he's not keen on you two buying your own place any time soon.
    via u/Rough-Chemist-4743
  • 22
    Sensitive_Fly_7036 He lied to scam you out of money. So he's both a liar and a thief. He's also not seeing you both as a team where you both should be doing well - instead he's happy for you to be worse off so he can benefit. That's a mayor problem. What else will he lie about? I'd be looking at divorce. At minimum he needs to pay you back all the money he's scammed from you and to go to counselling. Personally I'd leave though.
    via u/Sensitive_Fly_7036
  • 23
    Salt-Finding9193 Wow he cheated you for two years. You paid his mother to live with him in his own home? How awful. What sort of marriage is this?
    via u/Salt-Finding9193
  • 24
    Obvious-Weakness-218 There is nothing wrong with BOTH of you paying your MIL rent if you BOTH knew that is what you were doing. It sounds your husband doesn't know what a marriage should look like and it doesn't seem like he trusts you. In turn, how can you trust him?
    via u/Obvious-Weakness-218
  • 25
    Your husband LIED saying it was a family friend. I call this a financial betrayal. Document everything, pre- during and post conversation with your husband. I would want a copy of the rental agreement if you signed anything. I would see a lawyer, and want a list of all assets with acquisition date. You both need couples counseling at the very least. Consider a post-nuptial agreement
    via u/Obvious-Weakness-218

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