"It's just mom being awkward": Mom keeps calling 27-year-old son's girlfriend by his ex's name, she peaces out of family vacation early when he excuses the blunder as "memory issues"

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    AITAH for leaving my boyfriend's family vacation early after his mom kept calling me by his ex's name?

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    I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend Matt (27M) for almost a year. He's amazing, super sweet, and has been nothing but respectful to me. So when he invited me to join his family for their annual beach vacation, I said yes.
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    The issue? His mom. From the moment we got there, she kept calling me **Sophie (**Matt's ex) At first I let it go, assuming it was just habit. But it kept happening. At dinner, during a group photo, even while handing me sunscreen she said "Here, Sophie."
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    I corrected her gently several times. She'd laugh and say, "Oh you know what I mean, dear!" but never really tried to stop.
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    Matt heard it, but kind of brushed it off as "just mom being awkward."
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    By day three, I was drained. I didn't feel like I belonged. I booked a train back home and left a short note saying I wasn't comfortable.
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    Matt texted me that I overreacted and his mom has "a memory thing," which no one had ever mentioned before. His sister later messaged me saying I made the trip "weird" for everyone.
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    Icy Paleontologist123 If she really had "a memory thing" it would a) affect more than just your name and b) your bf would have warned you.
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    This was some kind of passive aggressive power trip on her part. But even if it wasn't, you were clearly upset by it and instead of standing up for you, your bf blamed you and brushed off your feelings. Make your next decisions accordingly.
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    Calyptra_thalictri Yeah, it seems unlikely that an actual clinical problem (either with memory or speech processing) would get euphemized as "mom being awkward" for three straight days without
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    someone in the family pulling her aside and going "I know her calling you Sophie s ks, but constantly drawing attention to the effects of the mini-stroke she had last year is just stressing her out and making the problem worse" or whatever.
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    lavonneestrada True, it sounds more like a lack of respect than a medical issue.
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    Junk Mail0604 Petty me, I would have made a name tag and worn it everyday, lol.
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    Fuchsia Cuddle Exactly. If this was truly about memory issues, it wouldn't have only targeted OP, and her boyfriend wouldn't have brushed it off like nothing. OP was clearly disrespected, and instead of support, she got blamed. That says everything.
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    TwilightDeew Exactly. OP was disrespected over and over, and instead of Matt having her back, he minimized it and made her feel like the problem. That's not a "memory thing," that's a clear lack of support.
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    NextSplit2683 THIS And the sister confirmed the passive aggression power trip with the phone call to OP. The idiot boyfriend dismissing her feelings is mind boggling.
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    Dama DeCircuitos Totally agree. What bothers me the most is not just the constant forgetting of the name, but how the couple handled the situation. Sometimes it's not the mistake that hurts, but seeing who is willing to minimize it.
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    Sebscreen NTA. Matt isn't amazing, sweet, or respectful. He is an enabler for his mum's passive aggressive undermining and torment of you.
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    NurseNancyNJ NTA. Your boyfriend's mother made it weird. A few times are a mistake, but repeatedly is passive- aggressive, and you have every right to remove yourself from a disrespectful situation.
  • 23
    Due-Yoghurt4916 Her memory problem is can't forget Sophie
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    SafiyaMukhamadova She was definitely anti-breakup and is trying to undermine the relationship to get him back with his ex. The fact that he either doesn't see it or doesn't care is why the relationship is doomed.

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