'She will have to downsize her wedding to compensate': Woman calls her dog-loving fiancé selfish for spending $5000 of "their" money on surgery for his doggo, causing him to reconsider their relationship

Author image for Blake Seidel
Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
May 15, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Our dogs are our family, period. We would do anything it took to save them, no matter the amount of money, time, or sacrifice. That's what you do for family. At least, that's what we would like to think that every dog owner and their partner would say, but we would be wrong. When we saw this thread below and decided to share it with you, we first asked our partner the same hypothetical question (we are currently planning our own wedding) - if our poor pupper needed a life-saving surgery that would cause us to cancel the wedding, would you still choose the dog over the wedding. Let's just say that they gave us the right answer.

We can't say the same for the woman in this post. She went on to call her fiancé selfish for spending $5,000 of "their" money to save his dog, and this expense would cause her to have to downsize her wedding. Now she's giving him the silent treatment, and he's reconsidering their relationship. Read through the whole thread below!

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  • 01

    My Fiancée isn’t speaking to me after I used “our” money to help my dog. Not sure not to fix this?

    'She refuses to talk this over unless I get on my knees, grovel and apologize'
    via chalabalaphotos

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My dog (German Shepard) began acting strangely a few months ago. First couple vet visits didn't show anything until eventually we felt a large lump under his fur which was later identified as a tumor. It was confirmed to be malignant and required surgery to remove completely.
    via u/Unsurebigbig
  • 03
    The vet I spoke to said it would likely cost over $5000 to remove it completely and there's no guarantee it will be a success. I don't know why the cost was so high, but it didn't matter to me. My dog is my dog and there is no question in my mind that paying for the surgery was the right thing to do.
    via u/Unsurebigbig
  • 04
    I paid for the surgery out of my own savings. This is important. My fiancée and I have separate finances and my savings are easily 5x what she had saved up. When she found out how much the surgery cost, she went ballistic that I paid for the
    via u/Unsurebigbig
  • 05
    surgery without asking her when we're planning a wedding. She says that she will have to downsize her wedding to compensate, and that my dog is already so old (10) the money "wouldn't go far." I can't even comprehend how she could say that to me.
    via u/Unsurebigbig

  • A 10-year-old dog still has a lot of life left in him, hopefully. One of our doggos lasted until the ripe age of 16, and up until his final few months, he was still playing with our younger dogs.

  • 06
    I honestly can't empathise with her here, which has caused a massive rift in a previously amazing relationship. My dog is my dog and he's a member of the family. I refuse to put a few
    via u/Unsurebigbig
  • 07
    thousand dollars over his well- being. My fiancee is acting as though I'm being selfish and that our wedding should come first, since we're starting a family.
    via u/Unsurebigbig
  • 08
    She hasn't talked to me since other than to tell me to take out the garbage, clean the dishes, etc. If I try to engage conversation she will shut down or walk away. She refuses to talk
    via u/Unsurebigbig
  • 09
    this over unless I get on my knees, grovel and apologise. I can't bring myself to do this as a matter of principle and self respect.
    via u/Unsurebigbig
  • 10
    So my question for people here is how am I supposed to get her to talk to me and patch things up? I don't want to throwaway the relationship, but at the same time I feel this is something I cannot compromise on...
    via u/Unsurebigbig
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10504711680
    via Damedeeso

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    Qjfomentl I'm not going to say don't get married, but definitely don't. get married until you've resolved this.
    via u/Qjfomentl
  • 13
    If you combine your finances after the wedding, how will she react if you have to spend more money on your dog (either this dog or a future dog)?
    via u/Qjfomentl
  • 14
    This is probably worth considering couple's counseling about, since she's not speaking to you and you have very different priorities.
    via u/Qjfomentl
  • 15
    Sometimes people stay in long term relationships just because they've been in them so long that starting over seems daunting (sunk cost fallacy).
    via u/Qjfomentl
  • 16
    Make sure you can find a way to compromise if you're truly determined to stay with her.
    via u/Qjfomentl
  • 17
    [deleted] Clearly you have different values than your girlfriend, and I think that's worth thinking about before you marry her.
    via reddit

  • What's weird to us is that she also doesn't consider the dog part of her family. Shouldn't she also want to spend the money to save the dog? This is a question of priorities, and it seems like they have very different ones.

  • 18
    justjaythings Didn't you talk about your finances before?
    via u/justjaythings
  • 19
    Maybe that's a bit european, but we wouldn't even think about "yours" or "mine". And absolutely not for a dog.
    via u/justjaythings
  • 20
    Cheezburger Image 10504711936
    via Syda Productions

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 21
    Get your rules about finances clear. And to be honest: I couldn't go with a person who uses ignoring as a punishment. You want this?
    via u/justjaythings
  • 22
    upbeatcrazyperson Hopefully, this is a "You should have discussed it with me first since we are going to be building our lives together issue," but she should now
    via u/upbeatcrazyperson
  • 23
    EVEN IF YOU HAD you most likely would have still gone through with it, so it's kind of a moot point that the outcome STILL would have been the same.
    via u/upbeatcrazyperson
  • 24
    She says that she will have to downsize HER wedding to compensate, and that my dog is already so old (10) the money "wouldn't go far."
    via u/upbeatcrazyperson
  • 25
    That HER kind of gets me, but I would tell her, "My dog has been saying the same thing. about you." Seriously, how long have ya'll been together, because it's weird that she has no connection to your dog. unless ya'll haven't been together very long.
    via u/upbeatcrazyperson
  • 26
    rubberdubberducky I'm sympathetic, some dogs are genuinely part of the family, loyal companions, and deserve your loyalty in return. I understand why you spent the money to save him.
    via u/rubberdubberducky
  • 27
    That said... you and your fiancé are a team now. You made a major financial decision without her, and she has every right to feel hurt and
    via u/rubberdubberducky
  • 28
    dismissed. It may be your money, but it's also theoretically the households money, if you two are genuinely joining together as a family.
    via u/rubberdubberducky

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Tags

dogs marriage marriage drama selfish relationships doggos doggo wedding animals surgery
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