32-year-old first-time mom to a 7-month-old baby refuses to hand over her carefully collected baby gear to her 30-year-old sister-in-law’s third kid: I just don’t feel like parting ways with things that I purchased or were gifted from my baby shower’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
May 13, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Motherhood is the one sport where the finish line keeps moving and the prize is whatever remains after every relative has rifled through your baby gear like it's clearance day at a thrift store. Here's a mom who spent months scavenging, couponing, and nesting, finally assembling a collection of baby items that didn't just drop from the family tree, they represent her own hard work, late-night online hunts, and shower presents she'd actually picked out herself.

Now the call goes out from the packed family apartment, where her sister-in-law is expecting baby number three and treating personal motivation the way most people treat assembly instructions: best ignored.

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  • 01

    "AITA for potentially not wanting to give my sil my firstborn baby items?"

    "I'm worried my mother-in-law will expect me to hand down all of the items we have for our baby"
    via FamVeld

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The expectation seems to be that every lovingly curated nursery treasure should be handed over, destined for a household where borrowed means battered and returned means someday, maybe, in a parallel universe.

    Watching every sentimental, registry-perfect baby item she meticulously chose get lost, broken, or forgotten because her in-law equates hand-me-downs with disposable? That’s not just inconvenient, it’s a violation of maternal property rights.

  • Feeling possessive about your first-born baby milestones and mementos doesn’t make her the villain of the story-it means she understands that not everything you cross the finish line for has to be immediately gifted to whichever cousin shouts dibs first. 

  • 02
    I 32F have a 7 month old baby boy. My partner and I both work and make okay money to be able to buy things for our baby.
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    When I was pregnant I started buying majority of the items, dresser, cribs, cube storage shelves, little things
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    111
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    here and there, etc. my husband as some point jokingly told me to stop buying everything on my
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    own without letting him know.....because he wanted to help as well and shouldn't be put on me. I said okay lol
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    So we just found out his sister (30F) is having a baby......3rd baby. Sweet sweet girl. From what my
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    husband told me was, his mom told my sil she better tie her tubes or that to have her husband get a vasectomy. SIL moved back
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    Cheezburger Image 10504753408
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    from another state to where we live. (She grew up where we live). She moved back with her family and is now
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    staying at her mothers apartment, sharing 1 bedroom with the husband and 2 kids a 5yr old and 2yr
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    old. Living there is also stepdad and my husbands 32M brother. They moved back because the husband
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    got into a argument with his sibling and got kicked out of the house they were sharing. So SIL turned to her mom
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    and told her that she was moving back. Only the husband works, the sister refuses to work or help
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    provide for the family and just wants to stay home. Long story short on her life, no motivation, lazy parenting,
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    the kids need a lot of discipline. Reason why my MIL told her to tie her tubes if she's going to be careless.
    via Skielovee
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    Now my husband told me we should give the bassinet we had for our baby to his sister because she's going to need
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    one. I do not mind as the bassinet was a hand me down gift that was offered to us. I was already planning to
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    purchase one when I found out I was pregnant, I even made a saved folder on tik tok on things I saw and
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    loved. Diaper bag was the first thing I saved LOL. Anyways, we were handed a bassinet and swing, I am just
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    worried MIL will expect for me or SIL ask my husband (not me) to hand down all of the items we have for our baby. I plan to have another. baby, and want to save
    via Skielovee
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    everything because I do not want another baby shower. I had one with this baby and it was great but I felt like I didn't enjoy and it was a lot of work. It was also hot as the devils . Lol
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    Now I know my husband is going to say she's my sister and she needs help, but I would love to keep items from my first baby. I understand helping family, they helped us when I gave
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    birth with getting us food for my husband and I because our unemployment for maternity/paternity leave wasn't kicking in. So we were tight, but everything else for
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    the baby I was prepared because we both worked. I understand if she needs help with buying a box of diapers or formula, I can help pitch in, I love couponing so I'll make sure to throw in a bag
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    of diapers for her here and there. I just don't feel like parting ways with things that I purchased or were gifted from my baby shower. I also had a registry with things I wanted, of lot of the big items I wanted were purchased and would love to save.
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  • 27
    Edit: it's a 4 bedroom apartment. In laws use one, BIL uses another room, SIL & husband & kids use another bedroom and the fourth is being used by someone MIL is renting out.
    via Skielovee
  • 28
    Edit 2: I'm not loosing sleep over this I just wanted to come on here before if and when it happened (if it does) so I know my feelings are not considered TA. The bassinet is the only thing my husband mention.
    via Skielovee

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family drama inheritance brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt in laws mother in law sister fiancé grandmother Father
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