Mid-30s couple head towards divorce after Mother’s Day dinner turns out to be instant cup noodle ramen despite wife’s clear expectations for the holiday: "How does a grown human act like this?"

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    My (30f) husband (34m) offered instant noodles as Mother's Day dinner and doesn't understand why mad. Is time give up?

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    I wish I was making this up, genuinely. I reminded him of Mother's Day earlier in the week, his sister did as well. He made no plans whatsoever and instead kept asking me to essentially plan the day myself.
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    I've mentioned in the past that I HATE doing that. He wants me to plan everything. Date nights, special events, holidays. If I don't plan dates, we don't go, and then he gets mad at me.
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    Anyway, I told him two things I wanted for Mother's Day. 1.) for him to plan it himself, and 2.) for him to not ask me what to make for dinner. Context on that last point: I work doubles on the weekends so I have
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    time for sure during the week. Every Sunday without fail he asks me what to make the kids for dinner because he's incapable of looking in the fridge and figuring it out himself. I told him I didn't want to deal with that on Mother's Day.
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    So what does he do? He asks me what he should make for dinner. I said surprise me. He sends me a picture of ramen and said "I have this if you want it?"
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    I lost my sh. I've never felt so disrespected. He says "I didn't ask what to make for dinner, I asked what you wanted for dinner so I could make it," as if it's not the same question worded differently. We've been together 6 years. He knows what I like.
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    Anyway, I'm fed up and thinking it's time to just separate. I don't think he's ever going to get it. Do you think I'm overreacting?
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    Update: I'm leaving him. I don't know when exactly because finances are an issue, but we're done. He pestered me to come home early from work and when I did he was JUST opening the fridge and
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    asking me what we have so he can cook. He still hadn't even come up with a plan. I'd decided I was leaving him before I even left work but this was really the icing on the cake. Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement.
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    mademaryon That's so brutal, does he have no shame? How does a grown a human act like this? I say take yourself out to dinner without the family so you can have relaxing and peace. Then you need t ask yourself if you want to stay with someone who's essentially another dependent.
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    chigirl00 Take yourself out to dinner on him. This won't change, bare minimum to get the mother of your children dinner and flowers. The fact that you have to remind him in the first place is already bad. Being single is so much better!
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    Anxious_Reporter_601 Wow. I hate this man.
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    ViolaOrsino I'm not entirely sure that he doesn't hate his wife. What kind of husband acts like this to someone he loves? My partner would never. I wish men would stop marrying women with the expectation of being mothered by their wives. It's unfair to everyone involved
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    thenord321 Make sure to leave a cup of noodles as a paperweight on the divorce papers.
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    ScaryButterscotch474 I like this. I left a full cake mix box on our kitchen bench for almost a year after my husband handed it to me as my "birthday cake". I wanted him to see it every time he used the kitchen.
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    scratpac4774 And do it on father's day! Show him you thought of him more than he did on your day.
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    Affectionate-Low5301 Nope, I don't think you are over-reacting at all. Your spouse is playing passive-aggressive games and has been all along as a way to make you responsible for everything in your relationship with him.
  • 22
    As much as I initially loved the guy I was with who acted that way, it wore me out and I had enough and broke up with him after warning him that I wouldn't stay around to be treated like that. He did it again and I moved out.
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    Of course, he came crying and "he would do better", but my answer was for him to show me that he could do better consistently and then I'll consider possibly getting back together. That didn't happen and I predicted that to myself when I made my response to him.
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    He lives in another state now with his latest girlfriend who keeps him on a very tight lead so none of that behavior is tolerated. Not my style. I want a partner, not a project to be managed, which is what you currently have.
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    530SSState "I want a partner, not a project to be managed" One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was, "A relationship is not a reformatory."

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