Mom refuses to straighten 1.5 year old daughter's curly hair for sister-in-law bride that demands matching flower girls: "It's a ridiculous request for a toddler!"

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    AITAH for refusing to straighten my 1.5 year olds hair for a wedding she will be the flower girl in?

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    SIL is mad at me because I will not straighten my 1.5 year olds curly hair for her wedding so all the flower girls can match. Personally I think that 1.5 is too young to straighten her hair, it's not good for it and
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    the risk of burning is significant. She knew she had curly hair when she asked us so idk why now 2 months before the wedding it is an issue.
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    She's upset because my daughters hair is tight ringette curls, despite it being pretty long when wet she looks like she has short baby hair when it's dried and curly. It's adorable and I simply do not understand the point of changing the way she is to fit someone elses picture perfect wedding..
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    I will obviously put in a cute headband and wet the curls and use products to make them less frizzy but I refuse to straighten them. Is this standard expectations for a flower girl at a wedding?
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    JustAnotherSlug NTA. Ask her why all the other flower girls aren't curling their hair so they can match. bridezillas be cray-cray...
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    Whyme0207 NTA. Why does hair matching require? Your daughter doesn't need to fit into this bogus drama.
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    thatgirlwithcats Matching hair for toddlers is ridiculous! Let them be cute and natural.
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    frolicndetour Seriously does she think anyone will actually care if they are matching? The only thing I've ever thought when seeing little kids in weddings is AWW. Not omg that one child's hair is different.
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    GuiltyPeach1208 Honestly...to me the age is irrelevant, who the cares if all the flower girls' HAIR matches?? f
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    Western_Fuzzy Straightening a 1.5 year old's hair is unacceptable. SIL is being unreasonable, and ultimately, if her being a flower girl hinges on that, then you should politely decline. She's a baby, she won't know what's going on, so won't be upset, and you won't be using heat products on an infant to appease someone's vision for their "special day".
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    B.
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    Your kid comes first over her being one of literally millions globally throwing a party for a legal document.
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    For context, is there a racial difference between you, your child, and your SIL? NTA, obviously.
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    Mommeandbaby OP We are white, just have a curly girly!
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    Mindless-Algae2522 Sure. Let's put a 200-300 degree metal clamp right beside a young toddler's head and within hands reach. Your SIL is an idiot. NTA.
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    bogwitch29 I used to hair for weddings for years... the youngest flower girl I was ever asked to style was 2, and it felt so inappropriate. The first thing she did was reach towards the iron. I kept an entire hand hovered around the iron, because she would move unpredictably and I didn't want to burn her sweet little head.
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    Puzzled Cat7549 As a curly girl myself. Don't do it. A) it's a ridiculous request, especially for a toddler! B) Curly hair is beautiful and no one should be made to feel like their natural hair isn't appropriate or right for any occasion. What a terrible request by the bride
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    Mommeandbaby OP Yea there's no chance I am doing it, she's gorgeous as she is and also not ruining her hair or risking a burn! But my SIL is MAAAAAD
  • 22
    RelationshipWinter97 Your SIL is being a ridiculous person. You are absolutely NTA but she is.
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    Weird Kid66 Oh this is insane, we're talking about a baby's hair, not even 10 year olds should be exposed to heat damage. SIL needs to get a grip
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    Cheap Fudge_7767 And she's at that age where heat protectant and other products can't be used, nor would they provide any benefit if used because her hair is still so new and fresh yet. It's a hard wall situation where there is no other way around it, and Bridezilla will just have to deal with it.
  • 25
    Organic-Willow2835 NTA. There is no way a 1.5 year old would be able to have their hair straightened without getting burned AND damaging the hair. The hair is too delicate at that age.

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