'Is he literally trying to steal my cat?': Pawrent has claws for concern as possessive roommate continuously ignores his request and locks feline in his room

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Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
May 22, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Roommates. They can be your best friends or your biggest catastrophe. This pawrent recently adopted a pawsitively adorable bonded pair of siblings and is doing all the work—feeding, scooping, brushing, and giving them tons of love. But this hooman's roommate has taken quite a liking to the sister cat and keeps shutting her in his room. Sometimes overnight. Sometimes when he's not even home. The poor kitty ends up missing meals, skipping the litter box, and getting separated from her brother, who turns into a nervous wreck without her.

Even after being asked to check before closing doors, the roommate brushes it off with "oops" comments and says things like "she's mine" or "maybe I'll take her." That's not just a furball of a misunderstanding. It's a real concern. These two cats are a bonded duo and need to stay together with full access to food, water, and each other.

The owner's frustration is totally valid. It's time for a firm but kind conversation to set some clear boundaries. Cats deserve comfort, freedom, and stability, not mixed signals and closed doors. This isn't just about cuddle rights. It's about doing what's best for the cats. Paws down.

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  • 01
    Hi friends, I'll try to keep this short but i do want to explain everything that's going on. I just got 2 cats recently, brother and sister bonded pair, and i love them to death. i pay for everything for them, i scoop their every day, i brush them and
    via u/baekexact
  • 02
    play with them, they're my responsibility and my pets. My roommate loves one of them, and keeps shutting her in his room, even when he sleeps or if he leaves for the day.
    via u/baekexact
  • 03
    Cheezburger Image 10508579840
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  • 04
    I think when he leaves he's just genuinely not aware of his surroundings and shuts the door, he shuts the doors a LOT after he leaves a room so it's a habit, but it's infuriating because she has to I, eat, drink, get her energy out, etc. and i walk by his door
    via u/baekexact
  • 05
    when he leaves for work and she's pawing underneath the door and meowing. i've asked him and he does not have food, water, or a litter box in his room for her. i texted him asking him to please check for the cats before he shuts the doors and he
    via u/baekexact
  • 06
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  • 07
    I also want to say that he has said some REALLY questionable things, including "yeah when she snuggled with me for the first time, i just thought, 'yeah you're mine' haha", "she reminds me so much of my childhood cat!",
    via u/baekexact
  • 08
    Cetaph
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  • 09
    Cetaphi
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  • 10
    "yeah maybe one day if i take her-" (i cut him off when he said this with "dude, they're a bonded pair. and they're mine. you're not ".) and he just taking them changed the subject.
    via u/baekexact
  • 11
    but it's honestly really angering me that he's shutting her in his room with him while he sleeps. she used to sleep with me or her brother (who is VERY bonded to her and has super bad anxiety without her) but now she literally
    via u/baekexact
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10508580864
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  • 13
    goes into his room every night. yesterday i let her out and she RACED to drink water and then tried getting back into his room?? like....she's my cat. honestly this is my first pet, so i'm just feeling very protective over her and i'm
    via u/baekexact
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10508579584
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  • 15
    angry that she's spending time with him rather than me when i take 100% care of her. if both doors are open, she'll sleep in my room with her brother. but if i'm not in my room, i hear him and his girlfriend at night call her into their room and they shut the door.
    via u/baekexact
  • 16
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  • 17
    am i being an a h le and greedy over my cat? or am i valid in wanting to sleep with MY cat that i got <2 months ago? i just want to know opinions on this, and maybe ways i can go about talking to him about this. please be honest, is he literally trying to steal my cat? just with
    via u/baekexact
  • 18
    the things he's been saying and the fact that he shuts her in his room, i just want to be really certain on what his stance is before i talk to him about this, but a conversation will be happening soon because she needs to have access to food and water and the litter box 24/7 and he can NOT keep locking her in his room.
    via u/baekexact
  • 19
    Edit: thank you so much for all the kind and validating responses, especially the ones giving me ideas on compromises and solutions to the issues. i was 99% sure i wasn't the a h le, but i wanted to be certain that i was in the right before i had a conversation with him about it.
    via u/baekexact
  • 20
    Edit #2: https://imgur.com/a/LIRK5i8 the kitties in question. The black cat, Kami, is the one my roommate keeps locking in with him. the black and white monster, vegeta, is the nervous big boy who is a completely different cat without kami. we got them from a friend
    via u/baekexact
  • 21
    who could no longer keep them, and they've been microchipped with her info and she is happy to help us if anything goes wrong. we also have collars on the way that are break away and reflective and have my info stitched on them :)
    via u/baekexact
  • 22
    asafeplaceofrest NTA for your feelings, but there something he understands about cats that you haven't learned yet. A kitty chooses its human. Not the other way around. If you're lucky, the choice is mutual, but cats rule in their relationships with people.
    via u/asafeplaceofrest
  • 23
    But you can just open the door after he leaves so the cat can get out and do her business.
    via u/asafeplaceofrest
  • 24
    Staneoisstan You need to be blunt. Or start taking something of his. Does he love his car ... I joke I joke but he needs to be bluntly told your cat is your cat. That maybe he needs to go find a kitty of his own. NTA
    via u/Staneoisstan
  • 25
    technospice Cats are creatures of habit. You need to put a cat box in your room and close them in with you at night for a couple of weeks. Set a rule the cats do not sleep in their room. They are conditioning this cat to be theirs.
    via u/technospice
  • 26
    Facepalm_2025 No your roommate needs boundaries
    via u/Facepalm_2025

  • The roommate needs to paws and respect what isn’t theirs. Cats aren’t possessions to be locked up. They deserve freedom, care, and love from their true pawrent. Time to stop overstepping! 

     

  • 27
    Weekend Worrier89 NTA but I'll tell you, it's very difficult to get cats to do what you want them to do. They need a reason. You need to make her want to be in your room instead. Lots of treats, play, and predictability.
    via u/WeekendWorrier89
  • 28
    Make sure ALL paperwork, vet records, and any lease. information where the cats are listed show that these cats are yours. I'd even keep receipts for things like cat litter, toys, food, etc. IF he decides to play games and take the cat, you'll have evidence that it's your cat. Vet records are the biggest piece of evidence, so try to keep up on all routine care.
    via u/WeekendWorrier89
  • 29
    I do suspect he's aware of where she is, and just closing the door anyway. She's likely curled up on his bed or in a chair or something and he's just not moving her before he leaves.
    via u/WeekendWorrier89
  • 30
    But also, cats tend to just go through phases. They form a habit for a few weeks, and then when something is of more value to them, their habit changes for a few more weeks. It's totally normal.
    via u/WeekendWorrier89

  • “It’s not a phase, mom." But hopefully for this pawrent, the kitty’s clingy behavior with the roommate is just a temporary phase and soon she’ll feel secure and stay close to her real home.

     

  • 31
    OllieOllieOak Tree "Your" cat
    via u/OllieOllieOak

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pets fight advice feline argument roommates Cats cat owners pawrents
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