20-year-old daughter ignores dad on Father’s Day after he repeatedly avoids her mom on every holiday and occasion, instead plans to turn it into a second Mother’s Day: ‘He treats Mother's Day, Christmas, my mom's birthdays and other holidays as nothing’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
May 24, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Dads are men, and men, as we all know, possess truly phenomenal memory skills—provided the subject is the starting lineup of the 1989 NFL season or the exact distance on Tiger Woods' best drive. Ask one about the anniversary of their wedding, the date of their child's birthday, or, heaven forbid, Mother's Day, and suddenly "total recall" becomes "total mystery." It's a universal law: the more important the occasion, the more likely Dad is to wander the house the night before, muttering about what day it is and if he's supposed to be somewhere.

There are dads who forget special occasions because life gets busy, and then there are dads who treat heartfelt gestures like they're participating in a personal boycott against effort. In the case of this 20-year-old, Father's Day isn't so much a chance to celebrate paternal wisdom as it is another opportunity to highlight just how little dad brings to the family's emotional table. 

Some people (I think I was pretty clear on who I'm talking about here) treat holidays like a pop quiz they forgot to study for, and others simply don't open the book at all. Here, dad's brand of celebration involves borrowing money meant for mom's spa escape, never booking the trip, and then handing out promises with the same enthusiasm most of us reserve for taking out the trash. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement

  • "WIBTA for planning to ignore my father for Father's Day and give my mother all the attention?"

    Cheezburger Image 10508963840
    via Khosro/SolStock

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • It is a bit of a dumb question but I have asked people around me and the reactions were mixed. Honestly I (20F) can't deal with this burden anymore and just want to make a statement to my father and younger sister (18F).
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • Since the beginning of dawn my father has treated Mother's Day, Christmas, my mom's birthdays and other holidays as...nothing? It was always I who DIY'ed cards, bought gifts and wrapped them
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • Cheezburger Image 10508970240
    via yuganovkonstantin

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • up. Over the years I noticed my mother's frustration regarding her birthday presents and the way he treated her.. (Her birthday falls in August so we are always on vacation during that time)
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • For example: He once promised her a Dyson Air wrap. Well, after reminding him for MONTHS after her Birthday, she eventually bought it herself because he was too lazy to stand up, go into the store and buy it. Then he bitched about it.
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • Cheezburger Image 10508969472
    via Khosro

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Another instance: After borrowing a huge sum of MY money for a "spa hotel getaway" for my mother, he instead decided to gift her a "voucher" for train trip in Switzerland. The joke? Despite
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • having months off of work, he never booked that trip and honestly never will. And my money? After months of holding it in secret, I finally admitted to
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • Cheezburger Image 10508969728
    via SolStock

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • my mom how much money he borrowed from me and never returned. First he gave me one half, then months later lied to my
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • mother he had given me the other half which he did not. Long story short, I eventually got it but never an apology.
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • Onto the problem: Since I have moved away from home, nothing is done in the household, especially for my mother. Christmas was a disaster and he got her this cheap bracelet which
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • was too big for her and not her style. My younger sister ironically speaking didn't even gift anyone sh but wanted to take credit for MY presents I had bought for
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • EVERYONE. (Yeah she got all pissy and tried to manipulate me into saying the presents were from the two of us - my father even tried to guilt trip me too!).
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • This Mother's Day NO ONE congratulated her except me (and I live around 400km away!) and my father "forgot" what day it was. He seriously thought it was the next day and had no flowers,
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • no card, no gift, no chocolate. Nothing. My sister conveniently forgot that date too so my mother was left hurt and drove to my grandma's. I was the only one who go her a card and a nice
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • bracelet where you can adjust the size. (Because ANYONE paying enough attention would notice her small wrist and know, most bracelets don't fit her)
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • I'm honestly beyond pred at both of them for treating her this way. My father and sister are lazy and entitled and expect the world to bend over for them while doing nothing. Usually I'm the more reserved type and
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • confronting them would result into me crying and them not reflecting on their actions (It's like they feed off of that complaining). So I'm planning a silent statement in which I don't congratulate my father, don't get him a gift and instead get my
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • mother something small. I want him to realize that I'm sick and tired of saving his a by carrying the burden on me. And I want him to realize that his other child is turning into a mini version of him.
    via GivingUpOnLife69
  • WIBTA If I don't get him anything on Father's Day, don't congratulate him but instead get my mother a small gift?
    via GivingUpOnLife69

Tags

stay at home mom marriage mother wife moms married life husband advice dad new parents red flags red flag mom first time mom Father
Scroll Down For The Next Article