Boss forbids supervisor from eating lunch with his employees because he thinks that socializing with subordinates will compromise work performance: 'I truly have a sick, sociopathic boss.'

Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor

Aug 26, 2026 3:15 PM EDT

Shouldn't he want his employees to build close relationships with each other?

Everyone has a different opinion on friendships in the workplace. I know people who only hang out with their coworkers and don't have any other friends. They will go to Happy Hours five days a week and intentionally hang out with their coworkers outside of work hours! I can't imagine living that life, but if it works for them, then more power to them! Having friends in the workplace can be either really helpful or hurtful depending on how it works out. If you are able to maintain those relationships, they will be an important member of your network for as long as you live! If you and your friend have a falling-out, it's going to be awkward when you have to see them at the office five days a week for the foreseeable future.

Most of us are friendly with people at work, but aren't trying to make our work friends our best friends. You can give the PG story of what you did last weekend, but you're not going to tell them all of the crazy details. That is probably for the best. It helps you connect with your coworkers emotionally without compromising their perception of you as a professional. You don't want to end up as one of those people on the workplace harassment training video, do you?

A lot of workers don't like having any kind of relationship with their coworkers at all. They go to r/antiwork and talk about how annoying it is that we're expected to be friends with our coworkers in order to stay employed. Well, the guy in this story didn't do that. He took to r/antiwork to complain that his boss's boss didn't want his boss to eat lunch with his subordinates, aka him. Did you get all that? Don't worry if you didn't; it'll all make sense if you scroll down.

Four young office workers having Chinese wok for lunch by workplace — *Coworkers of different statuses eating lunch together, much to the dismay of the nefarious director, who doesn't think that managers should eat with their subordinates.*
*_{Scene shown is a visual representation.}*

The Director told my supervisor not to sit for lunch with us

My director, for some reason, is terrified of friendships ever forming in the office. I will never know why, but I'm assuming it is to stop office gossip and chatter and generally prevent people from talking outside the office setting.

I've noticed that if they ever find people getting close (say, having coffee after work, sharing an inside joke, or anything of that sort) they will pit them against each other and make sure that, within a month, they have a fall out and are trying to bring each other down at work, which really isn't helping anybody.

My supervisor was told not to sit with us because he needed to maintain some distance from his subordinates; otherwise, he would not be able to do his job objectively. My supervisor is the sweetest, but he is literally being forced to keep his distance from his own team.

We all have an active informal group chat anyway though and we all hangout occasionally because they're all really nice people. I truly have a sick, sociopathic boss.

illtakeachinchilla This is to stop unions from forming. Isolated employees are easier to exploit.

Robbie_notta_bot Is it? Because management can't typically be in the union. One would think having an insider from management embedded in the group would be better at dissuading unions. It's likely to avoid implications of favoritism with work assignments and the like. Personally, I think you should be friendly with everyone at work, but never friends. Don't sh. where you eat, don't eat where you sh.

BananaJelloXlii The Director sounds like an elitist sh. "Don't associate with the peasants" is basically what he is saying to his supervisor. A person may be a manager, but they are not superior. I bet this director is the kind of persin that treats retail and food workers like sh too. I have had to tell supervisors in other departments that they are my coworker not my manager. Some people when they get even a bit of power let it go to their head.

Sheesh Kebabs OP BANG ON! We were going to a client's office and we decided to stop buy lunch. He yelled at the guy in the counter because he took a minute more to pack the order. He does see service industry employees beneath him

BananaJelloXlii I worked in fast food, grocery stores and office environments. I know the type quite well.

Ктоху This is why I keep saying moving forward would require psychological evaluation for any position that manages other people and jobs. Otherwise sociopathic people rise to power.

Ok_Ease_755 Even the director has a boss. Go above and report him for creating a hostile work environment. Lol.

queerdrinkinbeer I like knowing about the people I work with. I'm not trying to go on a cruise to Cozumel with them, but I'm totally here to chat about your kid's soccer tournament in some weird town while I eat chicken salad. Surface level stuff. It's all about boundaries. I don't think it needs to be all or nothing. Sh, my supervisor had major sur ry last week and I sent her a text just to make sure everything went well. Being polite and thoughtful to the folks you see every day shouldn't be t

breadcrustcrusader Had this happen to me. Took a temp step up at a job to cover some work, technically was bumped to a 'salary' position. Was told to no longer eat lunch in the break room with my coworkers. He suggested I eat at my desk or in my car. Brother it's 100 degrees outside this summer, the answer is no. We went out to a local park to eat from then on.

SailingSpark My old lead would not even let the rank and file employees eat together. They had to stagger their lunches even when nothing was going on. This was especially infuriating when the other teams would go to lunch enmass and we couldn't get any work done without them. As a supervisor myself, if things are busy, I won't take lunch with my peeps. I will send them off to eat while I keep working and take a lunch later after everything is calmed down.

Schizoid Rainbow Dude you're gonna Monkey's Paw your way into being forced to be friends with him. He'll pat your shoulder and stare you in the eye daring you to not smile, he'll insist you all chip in to buy him birthday presents, he'll drop unexpected weekend "activities" on you and demand you show up or else. Nah bruv count your blessings

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Boss forbids supervisor from eating lunch with his employees because he thinks that socializing with subordinates will compromise work performance: 'I truly have a sick, sociopathic boss.'

Shouldn't he want his employees to build close relationships with each other?

The Director told my supervisor not to sit for lunch with us

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