19-year-old son expects dad's girlfriend to pay for his vacation after treating her and her 15-year-old daughter with hostility for the 3 years his dad has been with her: 'You’re not my family. You never will be. [D]on’t expect anything from me'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
May 28, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

When you've done nothing but be unkind to someone, it might be best not to expect them to go out of their way for you or support you financially, or give you anything really. Sure, there are exceptions to this and by no means is this a hard and fast rule, if they're your own parents and you're a child or a moody teenager, your parents leaving you high and dry and without support just because you've been kind of a grumpy dolt would be the wrong thing to do. But, despite there still being "teen" in the number, when you're 19-years-old you're verifiably an adult and being an adult means owning the accountability of your actions and accepting that the way you conduct yourself might have consequences and people might distance themselves from you if you just don't treat them very kindly. Expecting someone you've always treated poorly to pay for you to go on vacation is just not going to go well for you and will be met with a dose of reality, as it was here.

This mother has been at odds with her boyfriend's son since she first started dating his father. Even though she wasn't even in the picture when his parents split, he has seemingly projected the blame for their separation, and his frustration attached to it, onto her. This misplaced anger meant that he was always hostile towards her over the three years that her and his father had been together. Even when the teen's father moved in with her and her 15-year-old daughter, he continued to be unfriendly and dismissive, even insulting her under her own roof. Now, he is blackmailing her with the opportunity to "fix" their relationship by paying for his flight for a family holiday, which is the last thing she feels like doing…

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    "AITAH for telling my partner’s son that I don’t owe him anything?"

    I've been dating Mark for 3 years. He has a 19 year old son, Ethan, and I have a 15 year old daughter, Lily. Mark moved in with us about a year ago. Ethan blames me for his parents' divorce, even though they split a year before I met Mark. From the start, he's been cruel, calling me names, even vandalizing my car with his friends a couple years back. After Mark moved in, Ethan's behavior got worse. I nearly ended things, but instead, I encouraged Mark to take Ethan on a solo. trip to talk and se
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    Since then, he's had no relationship with me or my daughter. He visits sometimes but won't speak to either of us. Now, I'm planning a Florida trip for Mark, Lily, and me. Mark suggested inviting Ethan. I said he's welcome, but only if he or Mark pays for his flight. Ethan doesn't work, and Mark can't afford it. When Ethan heard this, he said I should pay if I want to fix things. I reminded him of his own words last year and told him, I owe you nothing. You or your dad can pay if you want to come
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    Cheezburger Image 10510902016
    via Ruben Ramirez

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Sea_Firefighter_4598 • 12h ago NTA. You are being generous by even allowing him to come. Why would you pay to get verbally abused on vacation? If Ethan is 19 he is also adult. You can tell him that perhaps you don't want to fix things.
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    SockMaster9273 12h ago NTA • Ethan is also an adult. At this rate, I would say if Mark keeps it up, it becomes a girls trip.
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    Lonestarlady_66 · 13h ago NTA, this is what karma & being an adult looks like. He want's to be an ahle and act like a spoiled child and still wants all the benefits, sorry it doesn't work that way. This is called being an adult, he should get used to it.
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    • Alternative_End_8803 12h ago Is Mark even worth the relationship? NTA but I would be rethinking this relationship. Respect goes both ways and Ethan made it clear that he doesn't respect you. He's just tolerating you and now wants a free trip from you.
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    Hankwho42 · 13h ago . Why do you want either of them in your life?
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    vann_siegert • 13h ago You are not the a h le. You need to have an honest, direct conversation with Mark. If you two can't come to an understanding about Ethan, then it might be time to reconsider things.
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    vann_siegert • 13h ago You are not the a h le. You need to have an honest, direct conversation with Mark. If you two can't come to an understanding about Ethan, then it might be time to reconsider things.
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    AnnNonNeeMous 12h ago Ethan is 19. He is an adult. Don't you dare pay for his tickets. Oh, totally NTA.
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    judging • 13h ago NTA - I mean he won't even talk to you or your daughter when he visits your home, but you should pay for him to go on vacation. No, that's not how that works. Actions have consequences: his actions were being an a hole, and his consequence is he doesn't get a vacation that you are paying for.
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    via LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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Babies family dynamics teens family drama stepmother aita AITAH kids teenagers blended family siblings stepchild moms family feud parenting family pregnant reddit thread parent raising kids Parenting Fail parents children
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