Mother-in-law cries and demands an apology when married daughter-in-law books her own hotel room for family vacation, insists she share a room with her brother: 'The place they booked [...] has one bathroom for 5 adults, no living area to sit'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jun 2, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Sharing a room is not the easiest thing in the world to do. Some of us had to do it all our childhoods, and we would never want to do it again if we had the choice. Some of us never got used to it in childhood so we feel weird about it as adults. Either way, it's probably most people's preference. This is especially true if you're on an overseas vacation. You want your own space to decompress after a long day of traveling and to unwind from all the newness of a different country. 

This is even more especially true when you're on vacation with your family. Even if you love your family, odds are you want your space from them. You're already spending all day together so you certainly don't need to spend all night. Even in the most functional families, separate rooms are a huge boon to everyone's happiness.

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  • 01

    AITA for booking a hotel room on a family vacation?

    Me (34F), my husband (34M) and my brother (28M) are currently on vacation in another country with my FIL (58M) and his wife (65F). We've been excited for this trip for nearly a year, - FIL's wife is from the country we are visiting, so they planned all
    via u/abarch
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10511779072
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • It's also understandable that a married couple might want their own room, especially if they're paying for it. But that's not what one mother-in-law thought when she started a family dispute over her daughter-in-law branching off to buy her own room. She took great offense to it and demanded an apology. Read on for the story details.

  • 03
    activities and accommodations. Several times my husband and I offered to either pay for or split where we're staying (3 cities in 12 days, so 3 different places to stay) so that we could all be comfortable and have our own rooms. They assured us each time that they had it handled and that everything they booked ensured everyone had their own space.
    via u/abarch
  • 04
    Fast forward to the trip itself. First city, first night, after a 13-hour flight, we end up having to share a room with my brother for two nights in a hostel they booked. They did not realize it was a hostel, but the space was decent and it was for two nights, so we decided to make it work. Now,
    via u/abarch
  • 05
    we're on day four and at our second destination. The place they booked is even smaller, has one bathroom for 5 adults, no living area to sit (there is a kitchen table and 4 very small plastic chairs) and again, we have to share a bedroom with my brother, this time for 5 nights. We
    via u/abarch
  • 06
    roughed it out the first night but decided to book a hotel for the remaining 4 nights in the second spot because we do not like having no space, and we were promised something different. FIL's wife cried and asked us to stay this morning, and when we said this was not what they told us and we feel misled and that it's not fair to be expected to stay
    via u/abarch
  • 07
    and do everything they want to do when we have no time or space to relax. They got upset, told us to do what we want and closed their door. They eventually left for the day to walk around the city.
    via u/abarch
  • 08
    In-laws are now very upset and threatening to not see us unless we apologize to FIL's wife. We feel we have nothing to apologize for beyond hurting their feelings, because we feel there's nothing wrong with expecting our own. room when that's what we were promised. My brother is very chill and is fine to stay in the space, so he is with them. Husband feels very shut down and upset by the whole situation.
    via u/abarch
  • 09
    AITA for booking a hotel room? Also, any advice for navigating this situation so we can try to salvage the week we have left of this trip?
    via u/abarch
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10511779328
    via Unsplash+ (A. C.)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11

    Commenters gave their advice on how to best deal with this sticky situation.

    oop_norf .7h ago AITA for booking a hotel room? No, you're NTA. Also, any advice for navigating this situation Fake non-apology apology - "We're so sorry the
    via u/oop_norf
  • 12
    accommodation didn't work out and was different to what you thought you'd booked, and while we know you're upset about that this seems like the simplest way to get things back on track - we're not trying to avoid you or opt out of the trip, we're just going to sleep in our own room like originally
    via u/oop_norf
  • 13
    planned. There's no need to let this little accommodation booking problem ruin things, let's just carry on with everything we'd planned to do together during the days." Key points: • Act like they're not upset with your
    via u/oop_norf
  • 14
    actions, they're upset about the situation, • You're not sorry for your actions, you're sorry about the situation, • You're all in this unfortunate situation together and this is your contribution to solving the problem and saving the trip for everyone.
    via u/oop_norf
  • 15
    Helloreddit0703 · 7h ago She cried? Seriously? She sounds highly manipulative and/or childish. If I booked a place for 5 adults with only 1 bathroom and 2 of the adults left to get their own place, I'd be thrilled.
    via u/Helloreddit0703
  • 16
    But my points above are moot anyway. You were told a certain level of comfort would be provided, and unfortunately, it wasn't in fact provided. You've done nothing wrong. You haven't ruined the trip. Your FIL's wife has.
    via u/Helloreddit0703
  • 17
    carmabound • 7h ago NTA - You want to enjoy the vacation as a second honeymoon and have some alone time. If you put it in that context, there shouldn't be any hard feelings (no pun intended ;)
    via u/carmabound
  • 18
    Couette-Couette ⚫ 7h ago They missled you to agree to the trip and now they want to act as the wronged part? No way and NTA. (to be clear, there is nothing wrong with the way they planned things when everyone had been informed and agreed to it)
    via u/Couette-Couette
  • 19
    dncrmom 6h ago INFO why are your in-laws paying for a room for your brother? Did you miss type. & he is your husband's brother? Either way NTA if you get a room in the same hotel.
    via u/dncrmom
  • 20
    abarch OP 6h ago My in-laws insisted on paying for our accommodations, and that included my brother. He came along with us because he gets along well with my in-laws and has always wanted to go to the country we're visiting, so that's why he came on the trip.
    via u/abarch
  • 21
    Grand_Fun4159 · 7h ago As a grown woman, it is not right to feel forced into sharing a bedroom with your brother. Personal boundaries need to be accepted.
    via u/Grand_Fun4159
  • 22
    abarch OP. 6h ago That's what drives me nuts. I think somehow they thought everyone has their own room meant us + them, with my brother included in our count? It's bizarre and not something I even thought I'd have to explain, because as a married couple we did expect to have our own room. Just because he's my brother doesn't mean I want to be in the same room for 12 days!
    via u/abarch
  • 23
    boohos-boohos-g... . 7h ago She cried? Really? That's ghastly behaviour from a grown woman. Narcissist vibes. NTA, and it's not even close, respectfully
    via u/boohos-boohos-gully
  • 24
    Zorbie 7h ago Nta, you wanted to actually enjoy your trip. If anything this should be better for everyone. They are the ones ruining the trip by acting so petty.
    via u/Zorbie
  • 25
    kayotic012. 6h ago I'm finding it difficult to believe that FIL's wife didn't have a better idea of what to expect because she's from there. Not out of maliciousness, but a difference in taste. Notice they can go to their room, close the door and shut everyone out. The rest of you don't have that option.
    via u/kayotic012
  • 26
    I grew up in a family of 10 and one bathroom. I'll never share a room again except with a SO nor will I live in a home without at least 2 bathrooms.
    via u/kayotic012
  • 27
    Get the hotel room and be gentle with them. I'm sorry your feelings are hurt is the best apology I could make in such a situation. There are better suggestions on that from others here.
    via u/kayotic012
  • 28
    stationaryspondoc... 6h ago NTA, but why didn't you check your accommodations before going on the trip? I research the heck out of my trip, so that I can plan my time at the destination
    via u/stationaryspondoctor
  • 29
    RaineMist 7h ago . NTA You wanted your own space to enjoy your vacation, not be cramped with small accommodations.
    via u/RaineMist
  • 30
    HungryMagpie • 6h ago NTA. I don't really have any advice beyond expressing genuine confusion at why they're upset. Like... they get more space now! Without extra cost! I am honestly so curious about their reasoning, both for the planning and the reaction.
    via u/HungryMagpie

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