40-year-old coworker, fresh off her own extended maternity leave, pressures 24-year-old colleague into surrendering her pre-approved PTO vacation and drags in management and staff for backup: ‘ I can’t give up my time. This trip means a lot to me’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Jun 5, 2025 7:00 AM EDT

As if office culture doesn't already have a special way of transforming any perk into a slow-motion public shaming, some coworkers insist on making it as bad as possible, and nothing brings out the petty side of these people quite like a pre-approved vacation on the calendar.

After seven months of careful planning, our heroine is ready for a long-overdue family reunion, only to discover that in this workplace, requesting time off is less about rest and more about navigating an endless maze of entitlement.

This company has a special star, the patron saint of PTO hypocrisy, who seems to consider maternity leave and a month-long winter getaway merely a warm-up. With a straight face, she asks if you'd surrender your vacation so she can squeeze in bonus time with her kids, as if travel plans are just another communal resource you selfishly hoarded. When you gently decline, she dials up the martyrdom, painting you as the cold-hearted vacation Grinch who ruined her children's summer and possibly all future birthdays.

Suddenly, every colleague and even management becomes an expert in "what's fair," with the childless conveniently recast as available cover for every schedule and sob story.
So here you are, enduring daily side-eyes and guilt-laden comments, your once-exciting vacation now pre-ruined by relentless peer pressure.

In some offices, "team spirit" really means "team sacrifice," and PTO means "Prepare To be Ostracized."

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  • Coworker guilt tripping me over my vacation for no reason

    "I put in my request almost 7 months ago. My manager approved it"
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I (24F) work at a small department, where vacation time is pretty limited, and we have to request it months in advance. I put in my request almost 7 months ago to take a month
    via Curious-Night7446
  • vacation. My manager approved it. My plan is to travel with my family, something we planned for from years and we're finally able to. A coworker of mine(40f),
    via Curious-Night7446
  • Cheezburger Image 10513059584
    via galinkazhi

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • came up to me and asked if I'd be willing to give up my vacation days so she could spend time with her kids. It's important to
    via Curious-Night7446
  • note that she already travelled with her kids for 1 month in February, and was on maternity leave since October. Now, the only way she can go is if someone
    via Curious-Night7446
  • cancels, and since I have one of the longest vacation blocks, she came to me first. I told her I was really sorry, but I can't give up my time. This trip means a lot to me,
    via Curious-Night7446
  • Cheezburger Image 10513060096
    via galinkazhi

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • and it's the only time I can see my family this year. She wasn't happy and told me I was being selfish for not accommodating her. Now, my other coworker is chiming in,
    via Curious-Night7446
  • suggesting I could be more flexible since I don't have kids My manager, both of my coworkers keep bringing up my pre-booked
    via Curious-Night7446
  • vacation and trying to make me feel bad on a daily basis. I'm sick of it.. I don't feel bad. But AITA for taking a whole month off even though I told them months
    via Curious-Night7446
  • before so they're not understaffed. Also this same coworker got her vacation approved (my other coworker doesn't have anything planned) after 2 weeks of putting me
    via Curious-Night7446
  • through hl. But she's still speaking to me in a condescending tone, keeps bringing my vacation up even when she uses all of her PTO
    via Curious-Night7446
  • without anyone questioning her. Why are they doing this to me when I've been nothing but professional. Im literally crying
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  • everyday after work, their constant harassment and ganging up on me ruined my vacation before it even started
    via Curious-Night7446
  • jjdub97 Ngl this sounds like a pretty toxic workplace. If it were me I'd be looking for other jobs
    via jjdub97
  • Cofeefe You are still entitled to your life, your time, and your vacation. Repeat "I'm sorry, that won't be possible," as many times as needed. They
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  • are wrong to pressure you like this. The fact that they will do this says very little about you but tons about them. None of it good.
    via Cofeefe
  • Diligent-Variation51 Ask them why they think your parents shouldn't get to see their kids
    via Diligent-Variation51

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Tags

management boss workplace-stories hr toxic-workplace manager bosses work PTO managers supervisor workplace Horrible Bosses work-life balance
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