Husband refuses to travel across the country to meet new nephew because his family constantly disrespects his wife, family accuses him of 'holding adult problems against an unborn child': 'Unless everything changes, I'm not going to waste my money'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jun 5, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

You know what they say, "Happy wife, happy life," and that definitely holds true. If the woman you love isn't in a good place, it's hard for you to be in a good place. You'll do anything in your power to uplift her spirits if you can. This is especially true if you know exactly what's bothering her. Let's say that your side of the family isn't her biggest fan. 

For whatever reason, they keep disrespecting her and your choice to marry her. They question her behavior, and her personality, and make her feel excluded at family functions. You would probably do everything in your power to rectify that. And by rectifying that, I mean letting your family know that you've made your choice and you're sticking by her. No matter what they think about it, you made a vow to this woman, and heck if you let anyone disrespect her. 

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  • That's what happened in this story where a family inexplicably hated their new daughter-in-law/sister-in-law. They belittled her and left her out of family functions. But they were surprised when push came to shove and her husband (their son/brother) had enough of it and started to cut them out. Read on to see what happened in this family drama. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10513869312
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for not making the trip cross country to meet my nephew because my family are as***les to my wife

    Hi. My family hates my wife. They don't like that she took me away from the east coast. She was bigger when we met. She didn't go to a good school. She doesn't want kids. She's too girly then not girly enough. She can seem cold at first because she is a little reserved. And on and on and on
    via u/imogeniusmoreno
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    It has been hard. I was close to my brother. But he led the charge early on because she called him out for something and he didn't like it. He's the favorite so they took his side. My little sister is the most neutral. I've tried to talk to them about it so many times but eventually just realized it wasn't going to change. I love my wife. I have no regrets.
    via u/imogeniusmoreno
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    This past Christmas will be the last. They didn't give her any gifts, excluded her from the cookie party, and I caught mom and my aunts talking about her twice. I got us early flights and took her skiing.
    via u/imogeniusmoreno
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    Her dad loves me. We have weekly cigar walks. Her mom drops by just for hugs. Her brothers and I have our own group chat. Her sister baked me a birthday cake. It should be this way with my family. I'm trying not to be all emo but this sh. hurts.
    via u/imogeniusmoreno
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    My brother (the favorite) is having his first child in July. They have asked me (not us) to come meet him. I told them no. I'm sick of the • bulls Unless everything changes, I'm not going to waste my money. Mom got on the phone and told me I don't have to bring her, I should just come myself. I said no, we're married, we're a package deal.
    via u/imogeniusmoreno
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    She twisted it to "Oh so she won't let you come unless she comes too?" and I told her no, I'm saying this. I'm sick of them treating her like sh. It's Jerry Springer levels of trashy. Dumb thing to say and it set her off listing all the grievances they have with her. Some of it is just stupid. She carries a water bottle wherever she goes. Yeah, mom, she's from do. California. We all
    via u/imogeniusmoreno
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    Dad jumped in to back up mom and accused me of holding adult problems against an unborn child. Said that I'm really going to not be a part of my nephew's life because my wife can't get along with the rest of the family. This is what I'm stuck on. Am I wrong? I do want to be in my nephew's life and it isn't his fault. But it feels wrong to reward them because it just won't ever end.
    via u/imogeniusmoreno
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    Cheezburger Image 10513869568
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Commenters came to his defense.

    mfruitfly ⚫ 19h ago . You are a hero. Your family hates your wife for no reason, you see how much that hurts her and how ridiculous the grievances are, and you are holding them accountable.
    via u/mfruitfly
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    The unborn child isn't going to be bothered by you being or not being in their lives, it is your adult family who made the choice to be terrible, and they are the ones who will suffer for it. Mute their phone calls and spend your time with decent humans. I'm so sorry that you had to make this choice, but good for you for making it and not making your wife put up with disrespect.
    via u/mfruitfly
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    lopodopobab • 19h ago . You say you want to be in your nephew's life-but why? Is it because you genuinely want a relationship with him? Because you think he might need someone sane in the family? Or is it because you're mourning the idea of being part of the family you used to have, and your nephew feels like a last thread?
    via u/lopodopobab
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    Because let's be honest-your family has made it clear that they don't respect your marriage. You've done everything right by your wife, and they've made it a hostile environment. So if you're just trying to stay involved because you think you should, maybe
    via u/lopodopobab
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    it's worth letting go of that expectation. That kid isn't going to miss someone he's never met unless you're going to be in his life long-term in a healthy, stable way—and your family's not making that possible. So ask yourself: Is it him you want, or the version of your family you wish still existed?
    via u/lopodopobab
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    CandylandCanada 19h ago Correction, Dad - the rest of the family *refuses* to get along with wife, not the other way around. The fact that dad framed the dynamic as "If you don't come here alone and do what we tell you to do when we tell you to do it then *you won't be part of nephew's life*" should be instructive to you.
    via u/CandylandCanada
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    Complex-Cut-5563 · 19h ago NTA. You are a good husband to your wife. Your family just sound cruel.
    via u/Complex-Cut-5563
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    nemesismorana • 19h ago NTA. And Kudos for standing by your wife. Her family sound lovely and you'd think your family would treat your wife the way your wife's family treat you. You chose your wife when you married her, and you're showing her that your vows. meant something. I know she appreciates it.
    via u/nemesismorana
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    What-Is-Your-Quest 18h ago • Send a little water bottle as a baby gift & call it a day.
    via u/What-Is-Your-Quest
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    Apprehensive-Ad-3... . 19h ago NTA This is not the truth: Said that I'm really going to not be a part of my nephew's life because my wife can't get along with the rest of the family. Your "family" is not getting along with your wife. Don't let them spin that on you/her.
    via u/Apprehensive-Ad-3552
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    ladancer22 • 19h ago NTA. You're not "punishing" anyone. You are setting boundaries based on their behavior. If the behavior doesn't change, then the consequence of their action is they don't get the honor of a relationship with you. You can't go out of your way to fly across the country for people who are going to treat your family terribly.
    via u/ladancer22
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    Side note, I find it ironically hilarious that the reason you're not going is, in part, because the invitation explicitly excluded your wife and your moms response was "you don't have to bring her!" Like yes, you've made it very clear that I don't have to bring her, that's the issue.
    via u/ladancer22
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    TemptingPenguin369 • 19h ago NTA. So many stories here are about a spouse who doesn't stand up for their partner in these situations that's refreshing to see you doing the right thing.
    via u/TemptingPenguin369
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    croninjacjac 19h ago . "I am not making the trip because you have no respect for me or my wife. I would not want my nephew to see someone accept that level of disrespect. Call me if you decide to change."
    via u/croninjacjac
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    ShannaraRose •19h ago NTA. They're choosing to exclude you from their lives because they can't be decent to your wife. Why should you want to be around people who don't love you enough to extend that basic courtesy to her?
    via u/ShannaraRose
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    Inevitable-Divide933 19h ago . Dad blames your wife for not getting along with the family? Either they are blind, malicious, or projecting their own ignorance onto her. Her family sounds 100 times better than yours so that's where you should be, with people who respect both of you.
    via u/Inevitable-Divide933
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    Remote-Visual7976 • 19h ago NTA--I like how your Dad said she can't get along with your family-----NO they can't get along with her. They are toxic bu ies who do not deserve to have you or her in their lives
    via u/Remote-Visual7976

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family drama aita marriage drama AITAH brother sibling rivalry sibling memes siblings reddit story family feud parenting in laws family sibling sister reddit thread Reddit money Parenting Fail
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