New mom refuses to let husband’s family visit grandchild while her family is over because it makes them “uncomfortable,” he gets backlash when he puts his foot down: “It doesn’t have to be 50/50”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jun 15, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Hey there folks. As a new mom there's a laundry list of things you could complain about. Your body just went to the inferno and back to the point where you don't even recognize it. Your hormones are still out of balance and all over the place, and you have a crying baby next to you. It's not only one thing, it's just everything at once that's making you feel out of control. 

Without the qualms of motherhood, you still have tons of people supporting you usually. Family, friends, and even coworkers come out of the woodwork to help you with your new born. But you know what? No one ever talks about new dads.

When a father has his first child, people don't really make a fuss about him. It's not a big deal, and he doesn't get any attention. But at the end of the day, he has needs too. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a man who just had his first born daughter. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    My father-in-law called my parents and said to leave my wife and I alone for a while.

    "She said she needed time with her family first and not 'strangers""
    via Trendsetter Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So my wife and I had a baby about a year ago (so it's been some time... I know), my wife wanted her family over ALL the time at the beginning. Which was fine, but I felt like things were not
    via Reddit

  • It's natural when you have a child to want your family to be involved. Just because he didn't birth the kid himself, doesn't mean he wouldn't want his family to be very involved. This woman is sort of cruel to not let her in-laws visit their new grandchild. 

  • 03
    as fair and balanced as I'd like. Her family was over every single day the first week that the little one was born.. my family? They weren't "allowed" said my wife,
    via Reddit
  • 04
    she needed time with her family first and "not strangers". Which obviously hurt because "strangers"? Really?
    via Reddit
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10517486848
    via aldomurillo from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    So fast forward and my parents were bringing us dinners the second week, a couple times my dad showed up unannounced because he wanted to bring by
    via Reddit
  • 07
    some things he thought would be helpful... mind you, this is literally 2 times max, when I'd get home after work the previous week and be greeted by my wife and her
    via Reddit
  • 08
    entire family. With this, my wife told her dad she felt overwhelmed, and her dad called my dad and said they (my family) need to give us space. After
    via Reddit
  • 09
    hearing about this I absolutely lost it on my wife. By that point, the balance between family was non-existent and anytime I tried to have a say I was told "you
    via Reddit
  • 10
    don't know what it's like you didn't give birth". Which... of course.. while true, that's discounting my say for my newborn that I have a right to just
    via Reddit
  • 11
    as much as she does, and discounting my say for a house that I (no roast) paid for.
    via Reddit
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10517487104
    via tatyana_tomsickova from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    Now before anyone says "I'd be interested to hear her side" or "yes you are the AH because after marriage, it's teamwork". Let me just cut past that by the fact that
    via Reddit
  • 14
    It's been a year since I brought this up. The reason I'm bringing it up now is i feel gaslit and blamed a lot in my marriage and I'm only seeing it now because we literally
    via Reddit
  • 15
    see her family like 10 times a week (multiple times a day sometimes). We see my family two times a month (max). So I'm feeling anger, frustration and a
    via Reddit
  • 16
    loss of balance and control that I thought we had. When I brought this to her attention, she said "idk what to tell you, it doesn't need to be 50/50! What? Everytime we
    via Reddit
  • 17
    go see my family we have to see yours too? No. That doesn't work for me". Any pushback i give she says I'm choosing my family over her. So only now I'm seeing this
    via Reddit
  • 18
    as a real problem. Or AITAH here and I'm thinking too deeply into. these things. Or is this a controlling relationship and this needs to stop now??? Help plz
    via Reddit
  • 19
    toastedmarsh7 • 18h ago NTA. I would suggest marriage counseling. She's too enmeshed with her family right now. If things don't change, will you stay in this marriage?
    via u/toastedmarsh7
  • 20
    fruitiestparfait ⚫ 17h ago My mom did this to my dad. We saw my dad's parents like once a year. They lived 10 minutes away. Meanwhile
    via u/fruitiestparfait
  • 21
    we saw my mom's parents multiple times a week (they also lived 10 minutes away).
    via u/fruitiestparfait
  • 22
    I'm now NC with my mom because she's a j in general. Truth wins!
    via u/fruitiestparfait

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