63 and 65-year-old parents gaslight their daughter into letting them to move into her newly renovated granny flat, she refuses: ‘And I was going to pay because they were saving their money for travel’

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jun 23, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

At a certain age, parents let their children fly the nest and move on into adulthood without their aid. If all goes according to plan, their child will be completely financially independent and a responsible adult for the rest of their life, no longer needing the TLC and guidance of their parents. Ironically, though, as many parents age into their formative years, they're independence dwindles, and they need their adult offspring to step up and take care of them. 

But not every aging parent is so desperate, especially the 63 and 65-year-old freeloaders in this next story.

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  • Usually, when parents need our help, we're happy to give it. Unless our parents are entitled gaslighters who just want to freeload off of our successes so they can save a buck for their next luxury cruise. In that case, many kids aren't as thrilled to pick up the slack of responsibility, because nobody likes to be taken advantage of, especially coming from the people you once admired and who once cared for you in return. 

    This woman was not a stranger to her mother's antics and grew thick skin over the years, which likely prepared her for her greatest challenge when her parents sold their paid-for home, insisted on moving into her ADU for free, and tried to gaslight her into thinking it was her idea all along. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10517577472
    via fstop123

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    My mother wants my ADU for free after selling her own house. S Two years ago, I wrote about going on a Disney Cruise with my daughter that my sisters thought it was going to be for the whole family.
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    Long story short it was all a very big misunderstanding caused by my mother who got an idea in her head that it was for the whole family and told my sisters about it.
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    I also built an 850 sq ft ADU with full kitchen, one bedroom with a king size bed, one and a half bathrooms, pullout queen size sofa in the living room, and a washer/dryer setup in the one car garage. One of my sisters keeps
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    making jokes about turning it into an Airbnb with her collecting "management fees" but she is not serious at all, and my two oldest nieces claim it for their own when they move out of their parents' houses when they turn 18, but again they are joking,
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    So, a couple of weeks ago on Mother's Day at my place with the whole family, my mother announced that she and my dad are retiring and selling their fully paid off house and I was going to
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    give full and complete ownership of the ADU to them for nothing and also, I was going pay 100% taxes and utilities because they were saving their money for travel
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    (my mom loves cruises and all- inclusive resorts and my dad wants to buy a luxury RV), I said that it was the first that they told me anything about it and there is no way that it was going to happen.
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    My mom then said I promised that to her when I first built the ADU and no I never did. My Mom has a habit of getting an idea in her head and then creating
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    stories to confirm them in her mind, my dad just wants me to go along with it as he gets the RV to travel with as a compromise with my mom and her travel plans.
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    Let me clarify some things, first off when my mom brought it up my answer was not no but H L NO. My mom is 63 and my dad is 65 and I don't see them doing the type of trips that they want to do and are planning on after
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    five or seven years before their lives start to revolve around doctor's appointments. Second, they don't have a plan for their long-term health needs for things like getting to their appointments when they are no longer able to drive themselves, no clue about home health care needs or end of life plans.
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    They have looked at various "Senior Living Residences" that offer a variety of services depending on need and they can more than afford the most expensive plans, but my dad has said that "There are too many rules and too many old people" for my mom, she
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    rarely does this where she gets an idea in her head and just holds on to it despite when people tell her no. The last time it happened was two years ago when I took my daughter on a Disney Cruise and my mom got the
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    idea that it was for the whole family and then told my sisters that was the plan but after I cleared things up with them, they apologized very quickly and got after my mom for causing unnecessary family drama, and before
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    that it was when my oldest niece was born, my mom wanted a certain name claiming that it was a family name, but there were no records of that name in the family, and when she was shown the proof of that she still kept insisting that it was a family name and it should be used. And for the record neither I nor my sisters have given in to her when she does this.
    via Funny-Taro8253
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    miyuki_m. Stand firm. Install a security system with cameras so you have documentation of any attempts to move in without your consent and can be notified immediately if it happens when you're not home. Send her a communication to confirm that you never agreed to let them move in and that they are not welcome to do so. Keep a copy for your records so you can prove it later if needed.
    via miyuki_m
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    Bonnm42. I would send her a text making it clear. "Mom I really don't know where you got the idea I'd give you my ADU. If you thought announcing it at dinner, in front of people, would steamroll me into giving it to you, you are mistaken. I am really hurt that you would try
    via Bonnm42
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    and do that to me. I am your child. Not your ATM and not your personal retirement account. I think we need some space until you can apologize and respect my boundaries and belongings."
    via Bonnm42
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    bopperbopper Why did you build the ADU? "Mom, I don't know where you got that idea from but the ADU is going to be used for XXXX. Do not sell your house thinking you are moving in with me."
    via bopperbopper

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