Girlfriend gets angry at 36-year-old dad for attending his 8-year-old son's birthday party with his ex-wife: 'According to her, we will be giving off "happy family vibes," which hurt her feelings.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 16, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

You have to take on a lot of responsibility when you date somebody who has kids. You may not be responsible for their daily care or take on a parental role, but you have a duty to those children not to be a long-term negative disruption in their lives. It's natural for a child to resent their parent having a boyfriend or girlfriend initially, but if they continue to resent them for years, there might be something wrong with the relationship itself. 

A relationship with a parent will not work if the partner who doesn't have kids resents their partner's kids and their responsibility for those kids. It's natural for a partner to feel some level of sadness that they're not the #1 priority in their partner's life, but a little sadness doesn't make or break a relationship. Long-term resentment absolutely will, and no kid deserves that kind of treatment. 

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  • 01

    AITA for attending my kids birthday party with my ex wife?

    I (36m) have 2 kids with my ex- wife. The kids are 8 and 5 years of age. We divorced over 2 years. ago and have been in a co- parenting situation ever since. There is no big conflict between me and my ex-wife and there has never been one apart of the occasional disagreements about
    via u/Apprehensive-Virus43

  • The kids in this story are in a rotten situation. Their parents broke up two years ago, and six months after the breakup, their dad got with a woman who resents them. She resents them so much that she doesn't think her boyfriend should go to his son's birthday party because it will make her feel bad.

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10517885440
    via u/Apprehensive-Virus43

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    the shared bank account of the kids. No big of a deal, just small issues. The only contact I have with my ex is whenever something has to be arranged for the kids or when we have to keep eachother informed like school stuff, doctors appointments etc.
    via u/Apprehensive-Virus43
  • 04
    So my son his birthday is coming up and he wants to throw a party for his 6 closest friends from school and his little sister. So 8 kids in total. The day of the party he will be at his mom's house so she arranged it all. He wants to go to a big playground, something about 20km (12.5miles), away from home.
    via u/Apprehensive-Virus43
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10517886208
    via Nico Smit

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06
    My son came up to me and asked if I would attend his party and drive half of his friends to the playground and be there when he celebrates his birthday with his friends. I said Yes because I feel like I can't say no to this request.
    via u/Apprehensive-Virus43
  • 07
    My girlfriend is mad at me for going to my sons birthday party. She doesn't understand why I have to be there. My son will be playing with his friends leaving me with his mother to sit and wait. According to her we will be giving off "happy family vibes" which hurt her feelings. She says
    via u/Apprehensive-Virus43
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10517885696
    via Daniele La Rosa Messina

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    i'm loyal to my ex and I should have my priorities with her. I tried to explain I'm there for my son, but also for myself. I want to be the kind of father who is part of my kids memories. I don't want to be the father who was never there because I let my dislikings for my kids their mother prevail.
    via u/Apprehensive-Virus43
  • 10
    AITA for attending my son his birthday party while my girlfriend doesn't want me to go?
    via u/Apprehensive-Virus43
  • 11
    Desert_witch420 She asked why are you going to your son's birthday.... read that again....why you wanna be with that????
    via u/Desert_witch420
  • 12
    Commercial-Place6793 That's the only thing necessary in the story. Why are you attending your young child's birthday when the child explicitly requested you attend? That question is wild. I hope this is soon OP's ex girlfriend. The girlfriend will always be competing for attention with OP's children. Not a cute look. Run!
    via u/Commercial-Place6793
  • 13
    Scenarioing GF is exhibiting red flags galore. She is Iterally trying to get you not to go to your own child's birthday party. That is sickening. Seriously. It is disgusting. She's gross.
    via u/Scenarioing
  • 14
    hitemrightbetweenthe This whole situation screams jealousy and insecurity. Prioritizing your kids' happiness over her feelings is the right move. A healthy partner would support your role as a father, not undermine it.
    via u/hitemrightbetweenthe
  • 15
    hubblespark My stepmother ran a they are your family, this is our family policy. My sister and I knew from when they were dating she didn't want us around. We always wondered why my dad chose to marry someone who didn't want us around nor value his role as our dad. Is this really you want around
    via u/hubblespark
  • 16
    your kids? You are doing a fabulous job of parenting in a way that puts your kids first and not make them choose which parent will attend what. Be part of the memories and please, for the love of god, find a partner who thinks your prioritizing your kids is not a threat.
    via u/hubblespark
  • 17
    Irrelevant_Tess I've dealt with and am currently dealing with this as well. My dad is in wife number 4, mom was number 1, and 2-4 are awful people. The current one is the worst of all! I've been NC off and on during their entire marriage, which they got married while we were speaking, and I finally had enough and went NC on my birthday last July. It
    via u/Irrelevant_Tess
  • 18
    has been the most peaceful year without him and her! Kids should always be first, especially when married to a person who isn't their parent. If the kids do something mean or are not kind of no reason, then of course stick up for your wife. If the wife is cruel and mean to the kids there is a huge problem, and it may cause your kids to go NC because you let her act the way she does. I'm gonna say it now, RUN!
    via u/Irrelevant_Tess
  • 19
    Waskomsause NTA - But your GF is, and this should be a red flag as bright as a neon sign. She doesn't like your kids, she likely wants you to not be part of their lives because it "makes her upset" somehow.
    via u/Waskomsause
  • 20
    hitemrightbetweenthe It's concerning that she equates your presence at your son's party with loyalty to your ex. Healthy co-parenting is vital for the kids, and her reaction. suggests she might not be on board with that.
    via u/hitemrightbetweenthe
  • 21
    turnipofficer Yeah if they are to have any future they need a seriously long discussion about this subject. If she can't understand that his kids come first then there is no future. She is jealous and insecure. So sure - it's
    via u/turnipofficer
  • 22
    important to reassure her that she has nothing to worry about. But at the same time she has to know if she can't find a way past her insecurity there is no future for them. Counselling might be an option. But it looks worrying as is.
    via u/turnipofficer
  • 23
    introspectiveliar NTA. I don't know how long you have had a relationship with your girlfriend but she clearly doesn't understand that dating a dad means his kids will be a priority. I'd suggest you find someone who does.
    via u/introspectiveliar
  • 24
    Apprehensive-Virus43 OP For about 1.5years. forming a blended family has been a problem ever since. My gf has a hard time accepting her role as a stepmom. I don't expect anything from her in taking care of my kids. She has no responsibilities or whatsoever. She finds living all together for every other week really hard and occasionally flees the home.
    via u/Apprehensive-Virus43
  • 25
    ratherbeinmylibrary You're an incredibly inconsiderate father for dating a woman who resents your children. You also moved on very quickly after the divorce and gave your children very little time to adjust.
    via u/ratherbeinmylibrary
  • 26
    ilikepickledpickles Well, you shouldn't be calling her a stepmom since you're only dating. Unless the other person is extremely understanding, dating someone without kids is tough. They just don't understar||| that your kids come first. You're being a great dad helping out on your kids birthday and not trying to get back together with your ex. You may need to re-evaluate this relationship and do the hard. thing and break-up.
    via u/ilikepickledpickles

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birthdays kid kids birthday mother birthday party fatherhood step mother girlfriend Party dad ex wife little kids angry mom son children Father
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