26-year-old independent woman refuses to date 39-year-old delivery driver who still lives with his parents, throws an emotional temper tantrum when she breaks up with him: 'He talks all the time about improving his life but takes no action'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 17, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

There's nothing wrong with not wanting to date someone because they're not ambitious enough. It can sound cruel on paper, but you don't want to be waking up next to someone too lazy to make enough money to support your family in 10 years. It's essential to identify those red flags early in a relationship so you're not caught off guard by them later. Some people are perfectly fine with getting with somebody who isn't particularly ambitious in their career. Many people meet their partners when they're still young and figuring out their life's path. That being said, there are times when not hitting certain milestones is a red flag. At 25, I wouldn't necessarily consider someone who still lives with their parents a "red flag," especially if they're making meaningful contributions to their household. But get back to me when I'm 35 or even 30, and I'll probably be singing a different tune. 

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  • 01

    AITA because I won’t date the 39 year old door dash delivery guy?

    26F, I have my own full time career and can provide for myself, not a gold digger before anyone starts to make those comments. But this guys lifestyle is a dealbreaker for me. He's honestly Super nice guy, handsome too. But he is just lazy
    via u/Ok-Apartment2253

  • The woman in this story has the right idea. She's 26 and doesn't think she's particularly compatible with a 39-year-old delivery driver who still lives with his parents. When she told him she didn't want to date him, he took it extremely hard, and in retrospect, it proved that she made the right decision. 

  • 02
    KISUKE Uber Eats DANCE SKO 【愛暖大衆酒閣」
    via Mak

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    when it comes to working and is not financially stable and still lives with his parents. He talks and talks all the time about improving his life but takes no action. I told him why I can't date him and of course he had an emotional temper tantrum
    via u/Ok-Apartment2253
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10518080256
    via engin akyurt

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    and freaked out to try to make me feel bad about myself. I just can't build a life with someone who doesn't have ambition and stability ― all the responsibilities and pressure would be all on me.
    via u/Ok-Apartment2253
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10518080512
    via A. C. (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    Classic_Pianist_5899 You don't need to have a real reason to not date someone if it won't work it won't work nta
    via u/Classic_Pianist_5899
  • 08
    Recent Low_8594 Exactly. "Not wanting to carry the whole relationship on your back" is already more than enough reason. Sometimes the vibe just ain't it and that's valid all on its own.
    via u/Recent_Low_8594
  • 09
    KnowYuhRole And you don't even need to explain yourself to yourself.
    via u/KnowYuhRole
  • 10
    buffhen EXACTLY! If you're not interested in someone, you're not interested.
    via u/buffhen
  • 11
    Interesting_Novel997 His response justifies why she shouldn't date him. ΝΤΑ
    via u/Interesting_Novel997
  • 12
    typicalheiress Who needs a reason to not date someone? Sometimes it's just like trying on shoes you can't explain why they don't fit, but your toes definitely know!
    via u/typicalheiress
  • 13
    lilgreenfish Yes! Carolyn Hax in I think today's column said you can break up over the way your partner chews. Any reason, including "I don't want to" is a valid reason to not date or break up with someone.
    via u/lilgreenfish
  • 14
    sceadusquirrel NTA. You don't need a reason to not want to date someone. You don't owe him any explanation. Block him and let him have his tantrum alone.
    via u/sceadusquirrel
  • 15
    Large-Record7642 Yeah how a guy handles a no is the biggest tell if they are actually a good guy or not
    via u/Large-Record7642
  • 16
    swordrat720 If someone has to keep telling me what a good [whatever they say] they are, I'm assuming they aren't a good whatever.
    via u/swordrat720
  • 17
    Corey307 The best relationship I ever had started with a no. I met a young woman at a bar, I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime after chatting for a bit. She was really nice about it but she said she wasn't looking to date right now. I took it well (as one should) and the next time she saw me we got to talking and then dated for three years. Oh sure I ruined that relationship, but it was a good three years.
    via u/Corey307
  • 18
    HeyPesky A simple test that I use to use when I was last dating was, whatever day the guy suggested, I would say no and suggest two other options. His response to that no was usually pretty telling.
    via u/HeyPesky
  • 19
    EnglishMouse And don't use doordash for a while. You don't want him turning up at your house
    via u/EnglishMouse
  • 20
    K_A_irony NTA. You are NOT obligated to date anyone. He could be the richest most driven man in the world and you are still not obligated to date him. His emotional temper tantrum just reinforces that you are making the right decision.
    via u/K_A_irony
  • 21
    theupvoters Plot twist: I'm a 40 year old waiting tables while I go to grad school and I refuse to date anyone right now because I wouldn't date a woman that would date a man serving tables at my age. It's quite the conundrum. OP run like h I, he hath no shame
    via u/theupvoters
  • 22
    Much_Independence502 Sounds like your issue is more about his ambition than what he makes. But also, you not wanting to date an almost 40 year old who lives with his parents and only does door dash is perfectly reasonable. He shows he can't be a responsible adult
    via u/Much_Independence502
  • 23
    No_Let3157 Why are you explaining yourself to this man baby? Move on and find someone who is successful, determined etc
    via u/No_Let3157
  • 24
    heytherehellogoodbye Be extremely skeptical of a 39 year old man who's vying for the romantic attention of a 26 year old (and doesn't even have his life together as much as them, to boot)
    via u/heytherehellogoodbye
  • 25
    AnxiousTherapist-11 That's why he's dating younger...us older ladies know the pattern. He's got nothing to offer but alleged life experience. Sorry 39 yr old should figure it out by now.
    via u/AnxiousTherapist-11

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reddit stories dating fails single jobs date ambition independent lazy dates bad dates delivery man reddit story delivery driver reddit thread Reddit dating
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