‘Play stupid games, win stupid prizes’: Longtime employee puts arrogant middle manager in an uncomfortable position during a Father's Day-themed team icebreaker, exposing manager's sideways leadership skills

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jun 18, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Father's Day is difficult for those without their fathers present in their lives, whether that be because of forces beyond their control or otherwise. The holiday might be a reminder of bad memories or the absence of good ones. This is why one should never assume anything about another's family life, especially in the workplace. In the office, especially if you're in a leadership position, you have to be very careful about what you say to your colleagues. If you're not careful, willful ignorance and arrogance with leave you with a one-way ticket out of the office door.

This next story is a testament to the notion that one should never assume. An arrogant middle manager tries to guilt an employee for not gifting their father something for Father's Day. Little does the manager know that the employee couldn't give their father a gift even if they wanted to… Scroll below to read the rest of the story. Let's just say that the poster of this next story knows how to play with their morbid humor effectively…

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  • "[His] face went from ghost white to beet red." 3 6999 THE
    via Vitaly Gariev for Unsplash

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes: A Father’s Day Special"

    I (28F) am a firm believer in play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I've been with my company for six years-longer than anyone in our
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  • department aside from our Senior Director. I like to think I have a great relationship with my coworkers. We're open,
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  • respectful, and transparent, and many of us have worked together for 4-5 years. We know each other well and look out for one another.
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  • There's one exception: Roger (fake name, obviously). He's a middle manager over one of the teams in our department. He
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  • joined a little over a year ago and doesn't really understand how my team works. That didn't stop him from deciding, about six months
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  • in, that he was going to "overhaul" all of our processes- despite not knowing what we actually do or why we do it the way we do.
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  • Unsurprisingly, that led to a lot of internal issues. If you try to explain why something won't work or push back even slightly, Roger completely shuts down.
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  • He'll exclude you from conversations, claim you're being negative, and whine to others about how you're "resisting
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  • progress." He did this to me, and I haven't been included in any of his discussions since-something that's been noticed and talked about among the rest of our team.
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  • Fast-forward to last week. Roger announced he had finalized his "new process" and scheduled an in-person demo at the office for
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  • yesterday. Someone on his team sent out the invite-and, based on the look on Roger's face when I walked in, I'm guessing I wasn't meant to be included.
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  • Before starting the demo, Roger decided to do a little icebreaker and asked everyone to share how they celebrated Father's Day (which was this past Sunday). A
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  • few coworkers glanced at me. For context: my dad passed away nearly three years ago after a long battle with cancer. Everyone
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  • on the team knows—I had to take time off to help care for him, and when he passed, our director had the team sign a condolence card. Everyone knew-except Roger.
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  • When it was my turn, I said simply, "I visited my dad." Roger-who has a gift for putting his foot in his mouth-asked, "Did you bring him a gift? Take him out to eat?"
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  • I replied, "No." Then Roger launched into a ten- minute rant about how our team "over-celebrates" moms and neglects dads (our team is mostly women), how shameful it was that I hadn't done more for my father, and how I should be ashamed. Right there. In front of everyone.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10518538496
    via A. C. For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I calmly said, "I think my dad would be happy with the visit. Would you like to see the picture we took together?"
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  • Roger jumped at the chance. "Yes. I can always tell if someone's really happy or just faking."
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  • So I pulled out my phone, opened my Photos app, and said, "Shot... I guess I'm not in the picture. But he is-and that's all that matters." Then I turned the screen toward him. It was a photo of my dad's headstone.
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  • Roger's face went from ghost white to beet red. He didn't say another word—just quickly moved on to the next person.
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  • Later that day, our Senior Director (who wasn't at the meeting) called me. Apparently, Roger ran straight to her to complain about how "disrespectful" I was, how I "don't take him seriously," and how I "undermined his authority."
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  • I calmly asked if he also told her he publicly berated me in front of the department for not doing more for my de d father. She was
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  • silent for a moment, then admitted he hadn't mentioned that part. I gave her the full story and told her that the rest of the team would be more than willing to back me up.
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  • She said she'd talk to others—but also that she thought my response was a bit "out of line." I told her I disagreed. If Roger thought it was appropriate to shame me in front of the team, he should be ready for the consequences. Sometimes, the prize for playing a stupid game is exactly what you deserve.
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  • aaiceman Wow. If the company is big enough for HR, I'd be filing a complaint about his lack of respect/sensitivity. Possibly even him making it a hostile workplace.
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