"You could've just skipped dessert like a normal person": 24-year-old brings her own allergy-free cake to best friend's birthday dinner, storms out when she is called out for not following restaurant etiquette

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  • 01

    AITA for leaving my friend's birthday dinner early because she didn't let me eat my own cake?

    "You can't just bring your own cake to my dinner"
  • 02
    So this happened last weekend and I still feel weird about it. I (24F) went to my friend Kira's (also 24F) birthday dinner. She made this whole group
  • 03
    reservation at this super fancy place where everything on the menu looked like it was trying to fight my wallet. But hey, it's her birthday, and I love her, so I showed up, smiled, and even curled my hair.
  • 04
    Anyway, I have some food allergies, nothing dramatic, but enough that I usually bring my own little dessert when I know there won't be anything safe for me to eat. I texted her earlier that day like,
  • 05
    "Hey! I'm bringing my own slice of cake because I know the place has, like, walnuts in everything. Is that okay?" She never replied. I figured she was busy getting ready and didn't think much of it.
  • 06
    Dinner comes. Everyone's ordering their fancy tiny plates and sipping $14 drinks. I'm eating like three lettuce leaves and pretending to be full. Then I quietly pull out my little slice of safe, nut-free chocolate cake in a container. I wasn't making a scene, I swear I even brought my own fork.
  • 07
    But Kira sees me and straight up goes, "Are you serious? This is my birthday. You can't just bring your own cake to my dinner."
  • 08
    I tried to explain it's not like I brought a whole birthday cake and candles. It's just a slice. For my own mouth. That I paid for. Because I can't eat hers.
  • 09
    She rolled her eyes and said, "You could've just skipped dessert like a normal person." So I felt awkward, packed up my cake, said happy birthday again, paid my share (even over-tipped), and left early.
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    Cheezburger Image 10519989760
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    Now a few people in the group are saying I was rode and that I made the night "about me" because I left early and brought my own dessert.
  • 12
    Kira still hasn't replied to my text. My other friends are kinda split half think she overreacted, and the other half think I should've just sucked it up and gone without dessert.
  • 13
    So Reddit, AITA for bringing my own cake to someone else's birthday dinner and then leaving early when I felt embarrassed? P.S. I didn't even eat the cake. It's still in my fridge looking sad.
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    Cheezburger Image 10519990016
  • 15
    SleepDeprived1208 NTA. She ghosted you and then made a scene. And if she truly was a friend, she would know your allergy and let ya eat the slice.
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    Glock 171978 This is the kind of petty that makes me believe Kira just wanted attention and control. Real friends don't trip over Tupperware.
  • 17
    animavivere I agree. And I have a feeling she would have made a scene if OP had have skipped dessert too.
  • 18
    Big RedRobyn The classic Schrodinger's Offense
  • 19
    Samsamsam1976 OP Right?? Like it wasn't even a fancy slice, just a humble little cake trying to exist in peace. I seriously didn't expect her to flip over it. And yeah, she 100% knows about my allergy, which is why it felt extra weird. Appreciate you seeing it for what it is.
  • 20
    Strange_Depth_5732 24 is honestly an age where the last of your high school friends who aren't meant for long term friendship peel away. You're getting closer to the adult you're going to be long term and you realize you're very different now than when you were teens. Or at least you're different, she sounds exactly like a spoiled teenager.
  • 21
    toomany_geese Kind of flabbergasted at the responses tbh. Are we all toddlers? Is there anyone here who actually participates in societal norms?
  • 22
    You are most definitely the AH for bringing your own food to a restaurant and attempting to eat it, especially at a high end establishment. Doubly so because it was a dessert, not a main, and your friend
  • 23
    is correct, the normal person thing would have been to skip dessert. She is the birthday girl, you don't NEED your own cake. Your friend was a snooty b ESH
  • 24
    zeitocat Yeah, exactly. Also why did OP have to BRING the cake? Why not pass on the cake she can't eat, go home, and eat her cake THERE?!
  • 25
    Open Bug_4251 Yeah, it really sounds to me like OP brought their own cake not as much because of the allergy but because everything was expensive. Nothing was stopping OP from eating the cake in the car on the way home.
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    Cheezburger Image 10519989504
  • 27
    AllyKalamity Are you unaware that you can't bring your own food into a restaurant. It's unsanitary and incredibly r de
  • 28
    ceruveal_brooks This was my thought - generally restaurants don't want to see outside food in their establishment I'm surprised OP is able to do it more than once.
  • 29
    Substantial_Lab2211 cake is usually the exception. it's not unusual for a group to bring in their own birthday cake to cut

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