Entitled parents lash out at kids' 34-year-old aunt for not bringing them birthday presents despite never acknowledging her children's birthdays: "You don't punish kids for adult problems"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jun 27, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

I find a lot of joy in giving people that I love birthday presents. I am an artist, so I love crafting personalized items for my friends and family. I also like picking out hyper-specific trinkets tailored perfectly for the recipient. However, not everyone is a very gracious receiver. I've had people tell me with dismay that they now feel obligated to get me a gift just because I decided to do so for them. That's not really how gift-giving should work, though. It's something that comes from the heart and not necessarily an equal exchange.

In our story today, a young mom arrives at her nephews' birthday party empty-handed. This might seem cruel at first, but their parents haven't brought birthday gifts for her own kids in years. In other words, she's just matching their energy. However, the rest of the family doesn't take it that way. This begs the question: why wasn't it an issue when our protagonist's children weren't getting so much as a "happy birthday," much less gifts from their aunt and uncle? 

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  • 01

    AITA for not bringing gifts to my nephews' birthdays because they never give my kids anything?

    "It's started to feel very one-sided"
    via Kampus Production from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (34F) have two kids. Over the past few years, my nephews have had several birthday parties. We've always been invited, and I used to bring gifts every
    via u/renisac4t
  • 03
    time. But I started noticing that when it's my kids' birthdays, their parents never bring anything, or even acknowledge it. My kids don't even get a "happy birthday" from them.
    via u/renisac4t
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10521875968
    via Kampus Production from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    It's started to feel very one-sided. Their parents (my brother and sister-in-law) are often cold and dismissive toward me and my kids. So this year, I
    via u/renisac4t
  • 06
    decided I wasn't going to keep doing something for people who clearly don't return the effort. I still went to the party but didn't bring any gifts. -
    via u/renisac4t
  • 07
    After the party, I got a bunch of texts saying I was being petty and "you don't punish kids for adult problems." Now I'm starting to wonder if I was in the wrong, and maybe I should've separated the kids from how I feel about their parents. AITA for not bringing any gifts?
    via u/renisac4t

  • It's pretty unfair that our protagonist is getting called out for behaving the same way as her brother and SIL. 

  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10521876480
    via SeventyFour

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Edit: For those asking - yes, we've always had birthday parties for my kids, and my brother, sister- in-law, and their children were invited every time.
    via u/renisac4t
  • 10
    They attended a few over the years but never brought gifts or really acknowledged the occasion.
    via u/renisac4t
  • 11
    Also, for clarification: it wasn't even my brother or SIL who texted me after the party - it was my parents. So clearly, someone complained to them
    via u/renisac4t
  • 12
    behind the scenes. Kind of ironic that no one said a word when my kids were the ones being overlooked for years, but the moment I stop bringing gifts, that's when it's a problem.
    via u/renisac4t
  • 13
    Ok Stable7501 Just tell them, I thought we weren't doing presents anymore. NTA
    via u/Ok_Stable7501
  • 14
    missmandylee84 I agree with that approach! "Oh, I thought you guys didn't believe in birthday gift exchanges!" Also, no you don't punish kids for adult problems, but honestly, these kids probably have enough gifts and toys. They aren't being harmed in any way.
    via u/missmandylee84
  • 15
    Honey Dazeeee Exactly! They set the tone by not participating in gift-giving. You're just matching their energy, not being petty.
    via u/HoneyDazeeee
  • 16
    Eastern_Condition863 "you don't punish kids for adult problems." Ask him what's the dang problem then? Cause for several years now, you have no clue! I would just tell him you were following his lead.
    via u/Eastern_Condition863
  • 17
    BeesAndMist "I didn't want to make you feel bad that you couldn't afford gifts for my kids, so I finally realized what you were trying to tell me."
    via u/BeesAndMist
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10521876224
    via Vlada Karpovich from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    Novel_Fox NTA. Sorry to anyone that upsets but I've been in your shoes op. We used to do gifts and stuff for the nieces and nephews and their parents at Christmas
    via u/Novel_Fox
  • 20
    StarsForget NTA. Send them a text saying "what adult problems?" and if they keep pushing just say "I realized your family doesn't do presents for kids so I decided to respect your traditions."
    via u/StarsForget
  • 21
    and whatnot. Not a single one was reciprocated or returned so we just silently stopped giving them gifts. Noone said anything about it in our case because there is no real way to say a anything about
    via u/StarsForget
  • 22
    it truthfully without seeming like an entitled begger. What goes around comes around imo. The kids didn't get punished, they just didn't get rewarded with gifts on their birthday. It's not like they got nothing.
    via u/StarsForget
  • 23
    Background-Cow8401 NTA funny how these people texting you never reprimanded your brother and SIL for not bringing gifts for your kids. I wouldnt even bring it up to your brother, they know what they are doing. I would have stopped buying gifts also.
    via u/Background-Cow8401
  • 24
    solarama NTA a gift is an option not mandatory - Just tell them "I thought we weren't doing gifts & instead making the time together in celebration the gift."
    via u/solarama
  • 25
    Excellent-Word8229 NTA. I like how youre being discrete by not talking about it. Theyre the ones picking up on that you didnt bring a gift. To me it sounds like they
    via u/Excellent-Word8229
  • 26
    intentionally knew that what you did over the years and chose to not reciprocate. Id tell them well i saw you werent doing gifts anymore so i figured we werent doing them at all anymore.
    via u/Excellent-Word8229
  • 27
    Asprinkleofglitter7 NTA, if they think it's such a punishment for kids, why are they not giving gifts? How can it be so offensive for you to not give gifts but fine for them?
    via u/Asprinkleofglitter7
  • 28
    CestLaquoidarling NTA. Are THEY punishing your kids by not bringing gifts? Make them say it out loud.
    via u/CestLaquoidarling

Tags

nephews family drama entitled parents married with children brother siblings relationships parenting aunt family sister raising kids Parenting Fail parents entitled people
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