Entitled bride demands wedding guests only wear beige or gray, best friend refuses to attend because she looks bad in those colors: 'I look like a ghost in a burlap sack.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 26, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

It's expected that you make some sacrifices for the weddings of those close to you. You'd probably rather use your precious PTO to go on a vacation for yourself instead of spending it traveling to Piedmont, South Dakota, to watch your cousin get hitched, but you use your PTO anyway because you love her. 

We've all heard that adage, "It's her special day," over and over again when it comes to weddings. There's a lot of pressure on wedding guests to make sure the wedding goes off without a hitch, because if it doesn't, it could ruin the bride's "big day." However, you can't expect everything to be perfect on your big day. You can't control who shows up and who sends a gift. You can't control Uncle Jeff and all of his shenanigans. And you can't control the exact wardrobe of your guests, unless you're willing to pay for it. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for not attending my best friend’s wedding because of the dress code?

    I (29F) have been best friends with "Lily" (30F) since high school. We've been through everything together, heartbreaks, job changes, family losses and I was truly happy when she got engaged last year.
    via u/Pain250

  • The bride in this story had a particularly ugly color scheme in mind for her wedding: guests were required to wear either beige or gray. When her best friend refused to wear these colors and, in turn, refused to attend the wedding, people were conflicted about whether the best friend was going too far. 

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10522012928
    via Marina Abrosimova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    When she sent out her wedding invitations, I was surprised to see a very specific and strict dress code, floor-length formal gown in neutral tones only (beige, gray, taupe, etc.), no black, no white, no patterns, no exceptions. I'm not exaggerating, she even included a mood board.
    via u/Pain250
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10522024704
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    The issue is I'm plus sized and extremely pale. Neutral tones, especially beige or gray, completely wash me out. I tried on multiple dresses and felt awful in every single one, I looked like a ghost in a burlap sack. I asked if I could wear a deep green or navy, but she shut it down. She said I was making it about me.
    via u/Pain250
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10522024960
    via Patrik Velich

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    I told her I loved her, but I didn't feel comfortable spending hundreds on a dress I'd never wear again and feel like garbage in all day. I even offered to help with other parts of the wedding, but she told me she'd rather I just not come if I couldn't follow one simple request.
    via u/Pain250
  • 08
    So, I didn't go. I sent a gift and a handwritten letter, but now mutual friends are saying I was being selfish and that it was just one day. I honestly feel awful about it, but I also feel like boundaries matter. So... AITAH?
    via u/Pain250
  • 09
    HelloAll-Goodbye All NTA, but my goodness that colour scheme is going to look AWFUL in pictures.
    via u/HelloAll-Goodbye
  • 10
    Katarkann It's not just tacky, it's like... aggressively unphotogenic
    via u/Katarkann
  • 11
    Shakeamutt It's a colour palette of IKEA furniture.
    via u/Shakeamutt
  • 12
    CheesecakeEither8220 Sad beige children vibes.
    via u/CheesecakeEither8220
  • 13
    garthastro That was the point. "I won't be upstaged at my own wedding."
    via u/garthastro
  • 14
    Stinkylilfrogbitch Exactly what I was going to say. Some brides pick dress codes specifically bc they make people look bad. I bet OP a baddie
    via u/Stinkylilfrogbitch
  • 15
    theficklemermaid It's like when insecure brides insist on unflattering bridesmaids dresses, so no one can look prettier than them, but she extended it to everyone.
    via u/theficklemermaid
  • 16
    alcohall183 she will regret this so much. A wedding is supposed to be a happy day. This will be anything but.
    via u/alcohall183
  • 17
    Annoyed Redheaded Mom Dictating guests' wardrobe beyond how formal the event is makes your friend a selfish AH. Guests should be made to feel welcome and not like props. NTA for sending regrets, but you get extra friend points for the gift and handwritten letter.
    via u/AnnoyedRedheadedMom
  • 18
    Construction No9678 I got confused and scrolled up to make sure OP wasn't a bridesmaid. She's really just a guest? It's very strange to have a color palette for all of the wedding guests, especially when it's so restrictive. Gray as a color isn't that hard to find, but I feel like most people, including myself, have more black and/or white formal wear.
    via u/ConstructionNo9678
  • 19
    To me, weddings with this strict of a dress code are a bit like destination weddings: the price of attending will drive away some people, and that's just a natural consequence one must accept. You can choose to have all your guests come as they are, or choose the aesthetics.
    via u/ConstructionNo9678
  • 20
    Glittering_knave Are men supposed to go out and buy new suits? | am a family of 4, and this would make me opt out immediately. None of us have, or want, clothes in those colours.
    via u/Glittering_knave
  • 21
    Djinn_42 And not just the color, but it has to be floor length. How many people would ever have another use for a floor length gown - especially in a color they dislike and doesn't look good on them?
    via u/Djinn_42
  • 22
    MaeEastx I'm short and fat, no way I'd spend money to make myself look like a dalek.
    via u/MaeEastx
  • 23
    kearnsgirl64 This has become increasingly common. It is ridiculous. So many brides seem to forget that this is supposed to be a day to commit your life to another and make it all about posting on social media.
    via u/kearnsgirl64
  • 24
    THE_GREAT PICKLE You can dictate it to a degree. I have no problem with saying something like "semi formal." I've been to probably 30 or so weddings, and I've NEVER had to purchase something I didn't already possess. I just wear a suit that I have, shirt, tie, etc. My wife will often buy a new dress, but that's because she wants to, not because someone requires it. She's often worn the same dress to multiple weddings.
    via u/THE_GREAT_PICKLE
  • 25
    We've even been to an extraordinarily fancy wedding. Like, the son of the owner of a Major League Baseball team fancy. Won't elaborate for privacy reasons but it was so fancy and expensive. I wore my nicest suit I already owned, and my wife wore a dress she already owned, and neither of us felt out of place.
    via u/THE_GREAT_PICKLE
  • 26
    I think it's shameful to make people buy something. The only exception I can think of is a bridesmaid dress. Even at my own wedding, my groomsmen and I rented all our tuxedos and I paid for them, and my wife's bridesmaids ordered dresses and we paid for those too. It's not our place to tell others how to spend their money, especially on a dress they will wear once or twice
    via u/THE_GREAT_PICKLE
  • 27
    CreatineAddiction ESH wedding dress codes are both lame and controlling. However, this was ONE DAY out of your life for your "best friend." I would not choose this hill to di on for my best friend. I'd wear a stupid outfit.
    via u/CreatineAddiction

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ugly dress dresses besties color best friends wedding drama colors best friend wedding wedding dress dress ugly weddings gray beige bestie friend
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