Neat freak boyfriend wakes girlfriend up in the middle of the night repeatedly to make her clean cat fur, she gets fed up and lies to him just so he won't come over: 'He'll notice a single strand of cat fur and act like it's the end of the world'

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Jul 2, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Part of looking for your life-long partner, as a cat owner, is looking for someone who accepts cats. That sounds simple, right? It should be. But that is not always the case. Some people think that they won't have a problem with your cats and then they do, and that's upsetting, but it does happen. Because sometimes, people who have never had cats don't understand cats. And sometimes, people try getting along with cats and fail. Maybe that one is the worst option, because you know they tried, genuinely, and now, you're in a "it's me or the cat" situation that you never intended to be in. 

Today's story is pretty much that last one. The man here doesn't have to say "it's me or the cat" for that to be the came. He's clearly unable to deal with the idea of cats or cat fur, and he's really letting it affect his relationship. It looks like the woman here is going to make the right choice though. At least we hope so. 

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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] for not wanting my boyfriend to come over anymore because he’s too much of a clean freak?"

    "I'm starting to get really fed up with how obsessive he is about cleanliness."
    via Unsplash / Pamela Hallam

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    So... I lied to my boyfriend and told him I'd be out of town this weekend just so he wouldn't come over. I feel bad, but I honestly needed a break. I'm starting to get really fed up with how obsessive he is about cleanliness.
    via FitTaro9356
  • 03
    For context, I have two cats. I vacuum two to three times a day just to keep the fur under control, and I try my best to keep things clean. But you know how it is, sometimes fur still floats around or lands in spots you miss.
    via FitTaro9356
  • 04
    The issue is, he'll notice a single strand of cat fur and act like it's the end of the world. There were times he literally woke me up in the middle of the night to complain about one piece of fur floating in the air.
    via FitTaro9356

  • This… is not okay behavior. Waking you up in the middle of the night - multiple times, bothering you until you do as he says, it's insane. Unacceptable. This is your house. Your rules. Your cats. Your sleep. We would have had an issue with him doing this the first time, let alone multiple times. 

  • 05
    I'd say I'll vacuum in the morning, but he keeps poking me until I get up and do it right then and there. He also hates when my cats go into the room, so whenever he visits, I have to keep them out, which feels unfair because it's their home too.
    via FitTaro9356
  • 06
    He wears black all the time despite me suggesting not to, so obviously fur sticks to him more, and then he complains right in front of me like it's my fault.
    via FitTaro9356
  • 07
    Out of frustration, I canceled our weekend plans just so I could have some peace and quiet. He's been staying over every weekend lately, and honestly, I don't feel at ease in my own space anymore.
    via FitTaro9356
  • 08
    I don't know. I feel kind of shallow and petty, and maybe I'm being unreasonable? AITAH here for needing space and not wanting him around because of this?
    via FitTaro9356
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10523633152
    via Unsplash / Zaid Chiech

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Look, as much as we are all for doing the hard work to work things out in relationships and not giving up, we also know that… some people are simply not compatible. And it sounds like he has a real problem with your cats. Therefore, if you and your cats are a package deal, then maybe you and him should rethink what you're doing. 

  • 10
    jquest303 NTA. This is next level OCD. He's coming into your space, THEIR space. I'd cut your losses and find someone who is a little less compulsive.
    via jquest303
  • 11
    RobZagnut2 You, "Cats have fur. You're going to get cat fur on you if you come over. Stop your incessant whining and deal with it. Or if you can't, don't come over any more. Your choice."
    via RobZagnut2
  • 12
    Prudent_Border5060 Nta But i think this is part of a bigger problem. He clearly has a problem with cats. And you have two. Seriously, think about if you have a future.
    via Prudent_Border5060
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10523633664
    via Unsplash / Kristin Brown - kristinbrownphotography

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    vtretiree23 NTA. I have a dog and cat and we joke about all the fur. You're not compatible with him. Hugs
    via vtretiree23
  • 15
    Mcbriec Girlfriend, you need a new bf who likes animals. You are a very clean person to do all of that vacuuming. Bf sounds exhausting. You two are just not compatible.
    via Mcbriec
  • 16
    Cheezburger Image 10523632896
    via Unsplash / Kanta Oki

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 17
    Familiar_Progress_89 NTA. You sound like you have the same issue most people on here do in that you don't talk to your partner. Bring up how you feel and if see if he'll work with you. Communication is key and you may need to take the initial step of saying something.
    via Familiar_Progress_89
  • 18
    StaceKE NAH, you're not the a hole for wanting a chill weekend without your boyfriend's fur- fueled meltdowns it's your space, and you deserve to feel comfy with your cats!
    via StaceKE
  • 19
    Ok-Beautiful-6100 Sounds like OCD. He is probably a candidate for some intensive therapy and treatment.
    via Ok-Beautiful-6100

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boyfriend fur cat drama neat girlfriend story Cats
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