Manager finds out employee they recommended for the job is about to get fired, they try to prevent it without employee's knowledge, only to make it worse: ‘I saved her job, which led to her getting super fired’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 4, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Every time a 'Refer a Friend' email comes into my inbox, I gracefully ignore it, and every time our HR manager asks me if I know any people who might suit a position that just opened up, I immediately say no.

Not because I don't like my job or the company, I actually love it and think anyone would be lucky to work here. It's the other way around that I am avoiding–there is no one I know that I like enough to have them join my office. I simply don't love my friends enough to want to see them 8 hours a day, 5 times a week.

Moreover, working with someone you know outside of work can lead to a lot of unnecessary complications. What happens if they get into trouble? What happens if you find out they might lose their job? Do you tell them? Do you try to prevent it? Well, that is the dilemma the manager in the story below was facing, which made me even more sure of my decision to never send a job application to any of my friends.

Keep scrolling to read the full story and find out why exactly.

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  • 01
    www
    via fizkes

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITAH for not telling my friend she was getting fired and that I saved her job which lead to her getting super fired.

    I work with my best friend's girlfriend. Her and I are friendly but not really friends. If it weren't for her relationship with Jeremy I would not be friends with
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 03
    her. I told her about the job in question and even put in a good word for her. She wasn't working out. She tried her best but she
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 04
    had a personality clash with her supervisor. She was still in the 90 day probationary period so she was going to be terminated with no notice.
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 05
    That's life really. We regularly hire a bunch of people and keep the good ones and dismiss the ones that can't cut it or aren't a
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 06
    good fit. We actually were getting rid of over a dozen. people that day. I know that her and Jeremy aren't doing well financially so I stepped in
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 07
    and volunteered to take her on my team. It was a lateral move for her. I didn't really need her but my boss gives me a lot of freedom in my department.
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 08
    I didn't want to freak he out so I never told her she was not working out well on her team. To say the least I can understand why she didn't
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 09
    work out. She is great at her job, and a hard worker, but God Almighty she has a terrible jobsite personality. She rubs everyone the wrong way.
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 10
    Including my supervisor. He actually questioned my decision to transfer her to my team. I couldn't protect her from herself. Originally she was
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 11
    just being terminated and that was it. She would have been free to reapply to the company. Now she is on the NERF list. Not eligible for rehire. She really thought the reason I
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 12
    got her to my team was because we needed her help. She alienated everyone. Again, she is good at the job and incredibly dedicated, she
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 13
    just is a s'y person to work with and she brings down morale. I told Jeremy what happened and he said he understood. But she is
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 14
    pied. She said that if I had told her that she was on the chopping block she would have behaved differently. She said it's kind of my fault for not warning her.
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 15
    I don't know. I feel badly for her but she kind of dug her own grave.
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 16
    YOU ARE FIRED
    via GeorgeRudy

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 17
    AccessCrazy9154 NTA. You helped give her a second chance without humiliating her, which was generous. But you're not her manager, her babysitter, or her career coach. She's an
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 18
    adult. It's not your responsibility to warn her about basic professionalism. She didn't get fired because you didn't warn her. She got
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 19
    fired because she was warned by how people responded to her and chose not to adjust. You tried. She blew it. End of story.
    via throwawayfiredgirl
  • 20
    Odd_Raccoon3584 I don't think you are the bad person in this but I do think you should have told her about her attitude and how she should fix it, I think you
    via Odd_Raccoon3584
  • 21
    should've explained that she needs to have a good attitude in jobs and if she doesn't chose to take your advice she's in the wrong.
    via Odd_Raccoon3584
  • 22
    Pretzelmamma She said it's kind of my fault for not warning her. Were you her supervisor? If yes then yeah YTA, if not then NTA.
    via Pretzelmamma
  • 23
    This WeekInTheRegency 'I didn't want to freak he out so I never told her she was not working out well on her team.' That was the mistake.
    via ThisWeekInTheRegency
  • 24
    She needed to pull her head in and calm down in the workplace, but she didn't have a reason to. I can understand why she's cross with you, even though she is totally responsible for her own behaviour.
    via ThisWeekInTheRegency
  • 25
    I also think that her past supervisor should have counselled her about her behaviour before firing her. ESH.
    via ThisWeekInTheRegency

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