'She's my best friend but I can't stand her boyfriend': Cat owner refuses to lock her cats up so her friend's insufferable boyfriend could come to her cookout, the friend persists, claiming a sudden cat allergy despite no past issues

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Jul 8, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Relationships can be difficult. Adding existing cats into those relationships can make them even more difficult. That's something that you have to think about in advance. If you have a cat and are looking for a partner, then you need to look for partners who are okay with you having a cat. Simple, right? Not always. Cats can cause drama in relationships. Bad drama. Like some people being jealous of their partner's affection for their cats, and some people thinking that their partners are unhygienic for kissing their cat's foreheads, even as far as some people telling their partners that it's them or the cats. 

Cats can be the cause of drama in relationships for sure, but they can also be the cause of drama in friendships. And this story is like the culmination of both. Two best friends, and one of them, unfortunately, has an insufferable boyfriend who has an allergy to cats. And just like that… drama. 

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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] for refusing to lock my cats up so my friend’s boyfriend can visit my house?"

    "[My cats'] discomfort really doesn't seem worth [her boyfriend's] company"
    via Unsplash / Max Kukurudziak - maxkuk

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    Look, she's my best friend but I can't stand her boyfriend. No one can. All he does is make rude, snarky comments and complains about everything everywhere he goes. Nothing is ever good enough. Or nothing is ever as good as his stuff.
    via Cautious_Leadership
  • 03
    I decided to have a small cookout at my house. He has made comments about its location and quality many times before. Nonetheless, we're planning to have good food, drinks, and a whole lot of other stuff to spend some time with our friends and relax a little, and they're both invited.
    via Cautious_Leadership
  • 04
    My bestie is worried about her boyfriend's cat allergies. I have two cats. Both hide when people are over. She asked me to lock them in the room for the day to not upset his allergies. He has been to my house twice now and has never complained about my cats.
    via Cautious_Leadership
  • 05
    I simply told her no. After she persisted, I reminded her he's been around them, and their fur, which lingers around at all times in the past. I asked what he did then to manage it. She said take Benadryl.
    via Cautious_Leadership
  • 06
    I recommend he take it again before/after his visit. She persisted. So I said I'm not locking my cats in a room for the day. And so far that's been that.
    via Cautious_Leadership
  • 07
    AITA? I'm not sure if my dislike of her boyfriend is clouding my judgement. But I also think of how panicked and uncomfortable my cats will be, and it seems unreasonable to request that from me. Also, their discomfort really doesn't seem worth his company. I don't know... AITA??
    via Cautious_Leadership
  • 08
    Necessary-Penalty300 My cats hid when people come over too but regardless, I would NEVER lock them into a room that's their home and I would never force them to stay in one room unless they wanted too
    via Necessary-Penalty300
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10525943040
    via Unsplash / Ta Z - aurificina

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • So much wrong in this situation. It's almost hard to read. But first and foremost, no, you are not wrong for saying what you said and putting down the boundary that you did. Everything was fine the previous times he came to visit. There shouldn't be any reason for him - or his girlfriend - to be drama queens now.

  • 10
    Cautious_Leadership OP This is very validating!!
    via Cautious_Leadership
  • 11
    chik_w_cats NTA but watch out for him to accidentally let them out or be mean to them.
    via chik_w_cats
  • 12
    Cautious_Leadership OP I didn't even think of this. Our little party takes place today, I'll update yall if any shenanigans happen.
    via Cautious_Leadership
  • 13
    Paul-Kersey She asked me to lock them in the room for the day to not upset his allergies. "Oh, I didn't know his allergies were that bad, but I won't be able to lock up my cats, sorry. I totally understand if he won't be able to come." NTA
    via Paul-Kersey
  • 14
    TinyNiceWolf The real issue is not the cats, but why you're letting the rude guy come to your party. Tell your friend "He's been rude every single time he comes over, so he's no longer allowed over. I hope you can still come, but I understand if you can't." Getting told her boyfriend is so awful he's getting banned. might be the wakeup call your friend needs.
    via TinyNiceWolf
  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10525942784
    via Unsplash / Tao Liu - liutao

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Your house, your cats, your rules. He doesn't have to come if he has an issue with what you are doing. And we hope that, sooner rather than later, his girlfriend is going to realize exactly who it is that she is dating. 

  • 16
    Necessary-Penalty300 My cats hid when people come over too but regardless, I would NEVER lock them into a room that's their home and I would never force them to stay in one room unless they wanted too
    via Necessary-Penalty300
  • 17
    Black_Rosettes NTA. You're having a cookout, tell him to stay outside
    via Black_Rosettes
  • 18
    Icy-Cherry-8143 NTA being allergic to cats myself I either "take a pill" or "take the risk" or if I don't really like the person anyways use my allergy as an excuse to bail out.... but never would I expect them to lock up their cats.
    via Icy-Cherry-8143
  • 19
    as a dog owner whose mom is allergic to dogs, as we are countries apart when we visit said country we go to other accomodation bc we cannot expect to house us and the dog as her being in dogs vicinity for a few hours is ok, but dog hairs would remain invested in her carpets for ever.
    via Icy-Cherry-8143
  • 20
    Apprehensive-Ant-204 Nuh-uh. I have allergies, my friends and my sister have cats. I take my meds when I visit. That's it. Unless his allergies where life threatening, but it doesn't seem to be the case. NTA.
    via Apprehensive-Ant-204

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boyfriend cat drama allergies interesting friends girlfriend story Cats
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